Love Came Down

Posted on December 18, 2016 by sstyves

love1Love comes down, from Heaven to earth, in a Divine Leap of Joy at Christmastime. God leaves the heavenly throne and rests his head as the Son in a manger because there was no room for him elsewhere. How often do we miss Love? Do we seek to find the Divine Lover in all things or are we simply too busy, too distracted, too tired, too grumpy, too angry, too heartbroken, too whatever it is you might be experiencing this moment to see the One-Who-Left-EVERYTHING for you, for me, for us?

God came down to earth in human form. A Divine Being slipped on skin and joined us for 33 years. He lived, breathed, laughed, loved, wept, got angry, probably pulled the covers over his head some days, longing to rest just a few minutes longer. He had friends. He went to synagogue. He broke bread with his family. He was an obedient child.

He did all of this because two humans took notice of the Divine. First Mary, when Gabriel visited her, found the courage to believe what was being asked of her and raised her yes. Then Joseph who would learn of her pregnancy, also spoke his yes to the Divine, taking her as his wife. Both were probably bewildered.  The Divine asked big of them. They answered large too–no whispering of yes and then backtracking. Were they all in from the beginning? I am sure they had their doubts and fears along the way but they stayed the course.

Love has come down lately and I have noticed in home-made chicken noodle soup brought by a friend going through her own rough time, in the absence of a friend who wants to see me but understands that I am overwhelmed with certain things right now, in a mid-afternoon phone call from a family member checking up on me, in Christmas flowers decorated with purple decorations arriving in a purple box, and in a beautiful email from someone I had not heard from in almost two years, whose words brought tears to my eyes. Love has come down as I bit my lip in annoyance and let go of an attitude that gets under my skin, as I canceled a long-awaited get-together to spend time with my father and then to rest, as I made time for a friend celebrating a birthday, and in serving still, even as my energy wanes.

Love comes down again and again. Love bears more than what is humanly possible. St. Joseph could have walked away. Mary could have said no. God could have looked down on the earth and come up with a different plan–but instead God risked it all for us.  With this in mind, we try harder. Love wins time and again. The slogan love wins is used by a family that used to live in Winnipeg and lost their daughter in the shootings in Newtown four years ago.  I follow the social media posts of the parents. This week, the mother said she was stepping back because her fun circuits had been sucked dry by certain folks. My heart broke for her, a courageous woman who has worked tirelessly to educate people about the dangers of mental health, gun policies, and bullying. Love still will win, she is convinced. As soon as she catches a second wind, she will be back. That second wind will come from wrapping herself tightly in the Love of those who support her.

Today, Love came down at a memorial service for a friend’s brother.  The Buddhist service allowed for a marvelous send off, with many people sharing their deep love for this man. I began to cry in the first moments of the service and continued almost non-stop.  He was given his Buddhist name which I cannot quite remember but meant something to the effect of the one who brightens. I thought it was so apropos for this time of year. His memory will brighten the world for those who loved him. I was deeply touched by what his employer, friends, and family members had to say–mostly, I was moved by the number of men who cried openly and expressed their grief for one taken so suddenly and much too soon. I have been to many funerals since my own prognosis and tears have not come. I wondered what had caught me. About an hour later I realized that this was the first funeral for a sibling I had gone to in some time and that brought home to me the loss that is coming for my own siblings.

My father has been in the hospital for some time and this evening I reflected on St. Joseph who gave up much to be with Mary. I also wondered about his final days–how Jesus and Mary were as he became sick and took his last breath. Dad is not yet there, but I know that will come one day, and I may or may not be here for it.  Fathers and daughters–there is a bond between some of us that is stronger than I can explain. Love has been hovering around the hospital bed with us. I am grateful for that.

Incarnate Love comes down this week for us. Love is welcoming us to the stable…to the messiness that is Christmas and our lives. Love leaps over time and space to be here with us now, even when we nail the door shut, when we think we cannot be consoled, when we are too tired to lift our weary heads, Love still comes…and waits. Advent lasts one more week. Love takes Hope, Peace, and Joy by the hand and makes a circle around us, just like an Advent wreath. We are encircled by these four lights as we wait for God to come in an Infinite infant. May we wait well and bring Love to those around us this week.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

When have you last noticed Love’s presence?

What special action will you take during this last week of Advent to prepare for the coming of the Love?

Prayer

Divine Leaper, come down, here into the very depths of my heart and dwell.  May your Love fill me and spill out into the people of this hurting world who desperately need a Saviour.  Come, You-Who-Left-EVERYTHING for us, come. Amen.

 

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Clothed With Joy

Posted on December 15, 2016 by sstyves

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As I read Psalm 30 tonight, I pouted.  Joy has not always come in the morning this week, but I do feel clothed in Joy. When I lit the Joy candle on Sunday, I thought I would relight it as I had previous weeks with Hope and Peace. As you can see in this photo, I have not burned it much at all. It stands tall, beckoning me to know it is still there. I look at it once in awhile and think I need to light it but then I do not.

I have been dashing out the door without doing my morning readings. I start everyday with my morning offering and prayer remembrances but the readings have been sped read at night. It has not been too calming or enlightening. I usually do the readings prayerfully in the morning and then at night return to them as I post my reflections here.  For those who follow me, you can see that too has not been successful this week.

Instead, I have been running off to the hospital or some appointment this week, distracted and often interrupted by curve balls. My kitchen dances have been short as I have multi-tasked even while I have made my breakfast. I feel slightly scrunched by Satan, who is behaving like an annoying mosquito who keeps me under the blanket instead of throwing off my covers and getting on with the day. I hardly can decide what to put on each day, and Joy has not come to mind much.

My Christmas letter is not yet written. Shopping is not going to happen beyond what I have done. Christmas cards seem like a chore instead of what I had in mind. Socializing seems like an exhausting prospect.  I need more sleep so that I can greet Joy in the morning.

My social worker and I were talking earlier this week about doing only what brings me life. The priest I saw today for reconciliation suggested that I take care of myself first. Yes, that is the goal but I keep getting broadsided. I learned last night that a friend of mine lost her brother suddenly five days ago. I was stunned. I had just seen him less than a month ago at an event that we all attend annually. I thought he had looked tired.  The family has always been gracious and welcoming to me–for three decades now.  I had a videocall with my friend to express my sympathies at the passing of her brother when I got home today.  I am saddened that he leaves behind a wife, son, and daughter, his three sisters, and many people who loved him. He was only a few years older than me. You just never know.

This is why it is important to embrace Joy each morning whenever feasibly possible…to consciously chose to put on Joy and wrap it tightly around you. You just do not know what will come in the next 24 hours.  Joy does not equal happiness.  Joy is something that is deeper, broader, and more encompassing. Happiness is fleeting. Joy survives, despite it all. You may miss its quiet call in the morning but if you listen carefully, you will catch its whisper during the day and if you are wise, you will rise to embrace Joy. Joy will not abandon you. Despite all that happens, Joy has visited this week and nudged me to notice. My heart is grateful for its persistence.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Do you put on Joy in the morning?

On the hardest of days, will you rise to embrace Joy?

Prayer

Glorious One, you provide the finest clothes for us, if we allow you to rummage through our closet.  Thank you for choosing Joy to dress our souls in.  Keep lavishing us in this designer outfit so that we may shine in a world desperate for hope, peace, and love. Amen.

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Rejoice and Blossom

Posted on December 11, 2016 by sstyves

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Joy Sunday, Gaudete Sunday, the Pink Candle Sunday…whatever you call it, the readings today have a mixed reality message. The rejoicing does not come without a cost. The wilderness and dry land shall be glad. Strengthen the weak hands. Make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who are of a fearful heart, “Be strong, do not fear!” The ransomed shall return with singing. The farmer must wait for the precious crops to arrive with patience. We too must be patience and strengthen our hearts.  We are reminded of the suffering that the Prophets experienced. The Gospel has John in prison, foreshadowing his death. His disciples go to Jesus asking if he is the One who is to come, and they are told to report back all that they have heard and seen–the blind receive their sight again, the Deaf hear, the lame walk, and the dead are raised. What are they looking for?

Joy is coming but it is not without pain. As I woke up to frigid temperatures this morning, I marveled at the shimmering hoarfrost on the trees. Beauty comes at a price too. I stared out at the winter wonderland warmly in my kitchen, still in my pajamas.  An hour later the world was still bejeweled as I walked into church, still wowed by the sparkle. Joy was in my heart, despite the coldness of the air. Once inside, I smiled at a number of friends who were present, each carrying their own painful story in some form. Some had not seen me in awhile as I do not usually attend that particular mass, and returning from receiving the Eucharist, one grabbed my arm, so excited that I was among the earlier mass community. I am home in this place, no matter what service I attend. My joy is deeply rooted in a family that I have cultivated over the decades, carefully and sincerely.  I am blessed to be there, celebrating Joy among the pain.

Still on my mind was the movie, Loving, that I had seen last night.  What price are we willing to pay for Joy, for Love, for Hope?  Based on the true story of a white man named Richard Loving who married a black woman named Mildred illegally, the film tells their journey of desiring to be married and raise a family together despite laws that prohibited it.  One of the scenes in the movie is captured by Life Magazine–a moment of simple joy shared between a husband and wife–on a couch, watching a television program, laughing together as he lays his head on her lap.  It is truly a stunning moment in the film and made me think of all those intimate moments that lovers share and take for granted. I saw those moments today at mass in other relationships. A child with Down’s Syndrome kept looking to the back of the church for the first few minutes of mass and as her father came up the aisle, presumably after dropping his family at the door and parking the car, she whispered, Daddy!! and jumped joyfully into his arms.  Another child snuggled against her mother, smiling. A wife laid her weary head against her spouse’s shoulder.  At the end of mass, that little girl with Down’s Syndrome came up and stood by the woman I was speaking with who was holding a baby.  Her face was beaming. She loves babies, her dad explained, as I leaned into give him a hug. The other dad heard this and took the baby from his wife and held her in front of the other child at eye level. She reached out and made the sign of the cross on the baby’s forehead with a huge smile.  What a lesson in learning we are all capable of blessing one another. Joy moved among us this morning.

During mass, my gaze flickers over the parishioners. Many of the stories I know and lots I have never heard. I do know the trials that have preceded the Joy. I have shared the losses and the gains. I have learned to strengthen my heart with this community and to be patient.  I have seen the feeble knees made firm and the weak hands strong. The old adage that you cannot know true joy until you have drunk deeply the cup of sorrow is real for me. This morning after mass, I head back to the hospital to sit with my father for a few hours and then to do some shopping for my mother. Most of last week was the same and I found myself exhausted.  My home telephone and internet services were working only intermittently so I could not easily update people through my blog or email. When it was working, I decided that a nap might be a better use of my time.

When I finally arrived home, I hoped for a nap and a chance to finally write a long overdue blog post. I did not have time in the end, as a friend arrived, bearing soup and bread for me, knowing the kind of week that I had had. We sat and chatted for some time. It turns out that her brother had had a stroke since I had seen her last. The story has a happy ending of sorts — he was seen in Emergency by a nurse who chose not to follow protocol and follow her gut. She probably saved his life.  My friend and I talked honestly about how fragile life is. We both understand that Joy means a breaking open has happened. A blossoming requires a letting go, a release into the unknown and a trust that new life will come. That Joy does not disappoint.

The past couple of weeks have carried some heaviness to them. As the year ends, I am finding it hard to write my annual Christmas letter, knowing full well if the doctors are right, it could be my last.  My brother has been asking if he should come in to see Dad and my honest answer has been no, it is not yet necessary, but there is always a chance I could be wrong. A friend is still recovering from a stroke and the road ahead will be long. Several other friends have some huge sorrows breaking their hearts right now. I have been asked to facilitate an afternoon for those mourning during the holidays and as fragile as I am feeling right now, I said yes. What am I looking for this Pink Candle Sunday? I do not know if I can articulate all the thoughts that are jumbled up in my brain and this post.  All I know is that as I stood looking out at the cross on the Catholic girls’ school from my kitchen window this morning, I felt Joy. I kitchen dance in the mornings for a reason. Even in the midst of the sorrow, my knees are not feeble, my hands are strong, and my heart embraces the Beauty of the world in front of me.  Like that little girl this morning who anointed my friends’ infant, I want to reach out and bless the world with the sign of the cross. May we all rejoice and blossom.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

When have you felt Joy in the midst of your sorrow?

What are you looking for?

Prayer

Holy One, fill our hearts with Joy as you strengthen our hands and make firm our feet.  Help us to rejoice as we break open and blossom. Teach us how to reach out and bless this world, even when we think we do not have what it takes.  Amen.

 

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Voices Cry Out!

Posted on December 7, 2016 by sstyves

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(*This was written but for some reason not published on Sunday).

As I sat down to write this blog, I clicked onto social media and saw the news that President Obama had intervened on the pipeline situation, denying permit for access through the land. Another way had to be found. This happened on the second Sunday of Advent, Peace Sunday, where John the Baptist is crying out to prepare the way of the Lord. The voice of one crying out in the wilderness was heard then and now. The Standing Rock Sioux tribe, the Water Protectors, and their allies cried out and a path shall take a different route. These are the miracles of Advent, of hope, and of peace.

Peace comes in strange and wonderful ways, through the oddest of voices being raised at times. This week the challenge will be for me to speak peace when I want to utter anything but. I want to prepare the way of the Lord this week by stepping out of my comfort zone if need be to intervene when it may not be popular, to welcome as Christ would welcome me, and to be led by a little child. Bearers of Peace is the call this week. We can raise our voices to bring peace to a world that waits in darkness.

How will you cry out this week on behalf of peace? Is there a family relationship that needs healing?  Does a situation at work need some serene intervention? Do you need to spend more time in prayer for your own inner peace? What deeds will you do to bring Light to the darkness?

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Have you ever participated in an act of civil disobedience for the sake of peace?

What concrete action will you take on behalf of Peace this week?

Prayer

God of steadfastness and encouragement, give strength to our voices as we shout Prepare the Way of the Lord! Help us to bring peace in each step, each word, and each deed. Amen.

 

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Bread of Adversity

Posted on December 4, 2016 by sstyves

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Tomorrow we light a new Advent candle. This week of Hope will be ending shortly. Where did you find Hope? When, as in the First Reading, we are given the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, we are told we will see our Teacher who will say to us This is the way. Walk in it. Where did you see the Way? Were you able to walk in it, despite the trial you were experiencing?

Life seems dark lately, mirroring the season and the longer nights. I can see the Light which illuminates the Way. Hope was my companion who appeared at various junctures along the path. I am grateful for a few long distance phone calls that sparked good conversations and helped me turn up my lamp.  A friend sent a lovely story about a clown in Mexico who had died and how he was honoured, showing the value of human life. Another dear heart is arranging a soup drop off. If we must eat the bread of adversity, it is nice to have some friendship soup to dip it in.

Two moments stand out though as Hope-filled Light.  The first story is that of a friend whose disabled son became critically ill this week, leaving the family with a tough decision about how to proceed medically. After thoughtful prayer and discernment, they chose not to continue with the extraordinary measures he was receiving to stay alive because his life would always now be compromised. They asked the doctor to remove him from the ventilator. Much to everyone’s great surprise, he was able to breathe on his own. Such a gift! The family immediately chose to return to full ordinary care and joyfully welcomed their son home shortly afterwards. The struggle with making the decision about how much to intervene is soul-searching work, especially for those whose faith informs the choice. I believe God was saying to them, here is the bread of adversity and the water of affliction…and here am I. Keep your eyes on me. Here is the Way. Walk in it with love and trust. This young man’s life was not yet coming to a natural end. God had other plans.

The second instance is an ongoing dialogue that I am having with a woman who is also dying, although she tells me that she is in remission. Sometimes, when we talk she is upset about something that has gone on, the crumbs of adversity are swept up impatiently by her own admission. She gets frustrated easily. I know these feelings. I have those moments when in my head I am rolling my eyes and silently saying mockingly, Really? That is so tragic! to people who have no great affliction except the drama they insist on creating. I lack patience in those moments and am afraid that I will be mean-spirited. I want to shake the person and tell them to be grateful and get over themselves–which is really the message that I need to hear for myself when I am like that.

Some days I wish I had more to offer this woman than listening attentively but she always tells me that I make her feel better. I am glad that I can scatter some Hope for her. The truth is that this time, she made me think about something and unknowingly planted her own seeds of Hope within me which blossomed several hours later–in the middle of the night, after my Examen when I recalled our conversation. She pointed me to the Way and I was able to walk in it peacefully.

This is our great God, the One who binds up our wounds, lights our path, gathers the brokenhearted and numbers the stars. Praise be the Creator!

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Where did you sow Hope this week?

Who planted Hope within you?

Prayer

Star-Maker, you light my path as you scatter the bread of adversity upon it, whispering This is the Way. Walk in it.  May I do so with great trust and much courage. Amen.

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Fresh Joy

Posted on December 2, 2016 by sstyves

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In today’s Advent reading Isaiah mentions fresh joy. Those words struck a chord with me. I have not quite been in desolation lately but I have been close. I have been numbing a bit on video games which is never good for me. I need a dose of fresh joy to counter the heaviness of all that is dragging me down.

I have slowly regained some energy after being sick with the flu, caring for parents, recovering from some hard news that friends are going through, and staying up too late to get a good night’s sleep.  I am sad which does not mean I am in desolation. I have been avoiding prayer time today though and that has told me that I could be heading in that direction. I went to mass this morning without having already done the readings and when I got home, I did not really want to hear them again. In fact I have only skimmed them tonight, latching onto the words fresh joy and unable to continue in a prayerful manner.

I have definitely entered Advent darkness and am trying to keep my eyes on the Light of the World. Usually I find solace in the readings at this time of year so to avoid them is a good warning light for me. I think starting tonight I should get a good night’s sleep and awake rested. I cannot control what is going on around me but I can monitor what is happening within me. One of the great benefits of the Spiritual Exercises is that I can take stock of how I am feeling — am I in consolation or desolation? Is it hard consolation where I am struggling but feeling close to God still? Is it subtle desolation where I think I am happy but I am actually turning away from God. I am on the cusp. I need to turn and face the Light again, turning away from the distractions that threaten my sanity. I need a healthy dose of fresh joy.

May we be attentive to the movements of the Spirit in our lives.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What would some fresh joy do for you right now?

How would monitoring your spiritual movements toward consolation or desolation assist you in your faith journey?

Prayer

Light of the World, shine on my path and help me to freely move forward with you. Amen.

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Peace Be Within

Posted on November 27, 2016 by sstyves

img_8536Your wake-up call is found in today’s readings, especially the Gospel. Keep awake! Jesus encourages us in Matthew 24. In Romans 13  we are told to put on the armor of Light and to live honourably. Advent begins and we enter the darkest time of the year while we await the arrival of the Light of the World at Christmas. This first Sunday we light the candle of Hope, the first of three purple and one pink candle.  Hope is present and illuminates the darkness. After this week, I needed to take some quiet time to light the candle and pull out my twinkle lights.  I will put the tree up later. Today was about welcoming the waiting with hopeful expectation. As much as it is a term of war in the First Reading, I needed to slip on the protection of the Light and prepare to receive the Christ child who is coming.

Psalm 122 prays that peace would be within our walls. For the sake of the Lord, the psalmist says he will seek your good – shall we join in this quest during Advent? Put on our armor of Light and find reasons to seek the good of others for the next four weeks in a purposeful and meaningful way? Sow seeds of hope this week to those who desperately need them? Turn away from war, beat swords into ploughshares, and spears into pruning hooks? Bury a hatchet, compliment a person who irritates you, visit a person who is lonely, donate to a hamper, let it go, move on without envy or anger — what is it you can do to bring the light of Hope to our world?

This Advent Let us walk in the Light of the Lord! Isaiah 2.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How can you live honourably this Advent?

What will you do this week to scatter seeds of Hope?

Prayer

Light of the World, help me to spark a flame this week by a concrete action to instill Hope. Keep me watchful for opportunities to brighten a soul who waits in darkness. Make me a match that illuminates your holy plan. Amen.

 

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Crashing Waves

Posted on November 26, 2016 by sstyves

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I have often said that my father is like a cat with nine lives, except that he has used up eleven of them. He has had many medical situations that bring him close to the edge of the cliff but he has always come back from them. That incredible luck will end at some point. No one cheats Death; no one gets out of this life alive. We can be merrily swimming along when suddenly we crash to the bottom of the pool like a lead ball. There may be no warning signs or we may have a hint. Either way, life is fragile.

I have been thinking today, on the eve of Advent, that the Light is coming, and the darkness will not overcome it. The Light wins. Always. The results may not always look like we want them too but still, the Light always wins. I have said that despite my illness I could still outlive both my parents. However, as I looked honestly at that concept, I felt tremendous sadness that I might not welcome my dad Home, but instead I could lead him to that wonderful Light.  There is no certainty of anything at this stage. Besides, the One who will be welcoming us all Home is so much more worthy of the task.

Dad has been talking about his health care directive and the DNR order to my sister and mother.  On some level he has understood what he is facing. He had a few teary moments in the hospital. He knows that some of the treatment options are not available to him because of other complications. My papers are also in order. These are never easy decisions though. When do you actually put those into place?  This week my friends lost their beloved dog and in talking with one of them he said that it is never easy to make that decision. All this talk in the media about medically assisted death does not change the emotional aspect of having to decide to end a life.

Advent reminds us of how vulnerable God became–coming to earth as an infant, dependent upon humans to care for him, aware that he came to die, but also to conquer death once and for all. As I prepare for Advent tonight, my heart is set on the Light, not the dark. I am not going to give it any more power than it deserves. Tomorrow I will light the first candle which symbolizes hope. This is what embrace right now. While the world may crash all around me, I will stand on the Rock. Join me?

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How is the Light winning in your life right now?

How are you preparing for Advent?

Prayer

Light of the World, dispel the darkness that can crash upon us in times of struggle. Keep our feet on solid ground. Amen.

 

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Weary Ways

Posted on November 23, 2016 by sstyves

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Sometimes the road seems long, uphill and weary. We can be overwhelmed and miss God’s presence in these times. The past two days have been a tad challenging. Sitting around in hospitals is distressing but over the years I have learned a few tricks when I am not the patient and one of them is to pray. I was able to do this last night as I waited for news.  This morning prior to heading back to the hospital, I flipped through social media and found my heart despairing as peaceful, unarmed water protectors were being harassed.   How does God manage all the requests that end up in the inbox?

I know from my sister’s death that God was present. In these traumatic times, God may seem far away but if one pays attention, God shows up in the oddest places.  When my mother called to say that my father needed to go to the hospital, I drew in a breath. I have been sensing for weeks that he has not been well.  The television in the hospital waiting room was tuned into the presidential medals and as I watched I could not help but feel joy at the choices.  The world political stage might be changing but in this moment there was recognition that different is a blessing.

During the wait, I saw someone I know walk in and having a few moments with this woman of faith strengthened and reminded me that heaven is our Home. Whatever happens we who know where we belong have no fear. On my mind though was another friend who was also in Emergency and who my father would follow behind until landing a few doors down from her tonight.  Too much sadness in my world threatened to break me.

The heaviness in my heart could have turned me away from God and towards desolation. Rather, I was able to see the goodness in a number of encounters.  Last night I hailed a cab and took my mother home first before continuing on my way. I asked the driver to wait while I walked my mom to the door because of an icy sidewalk. When I returned to the cab, he turned around and told me I was a good daughter. He seemed surprised that a Canadian took such good care of an aging parent–he said that he had not witnessed it often. I was touched.

Today, while visiting my farm-boy father,  a volunteer showed up with her dog trained to visit patients. Dad perked up. I saw you looking at him, the woman said, showing Dad a number of tricks the dog could do. I smiled, watching Dad forget for a moment the seriousness of his own situation. God spelled backwards is dog.

Some days, we drag our crosses as we plod along. The load does seem lighter if we remember to yoke ourselves to Christ. If we seek Jesus in the stressful moments, we may find courage and hope that we did not know we had. Before heading to the hospital today, I stopped in at the chapel at my church and prayed for a few moments before the Blessed Sacrament, exposed today, as it is every Wednesday. The way is weary and without Jesus, even more so for me. I am glad that I look for God in all things and that my Beloved is ever present if I have but eyes to see.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Who do you turn to when your world begins to fall apart?

Do you remember a time when God showed up in an unlikely costume?

Prayer

God, I am weary in my soul but not overwhelmed. You are with me on this path. Keep my eyes open wide for glimpses of you, spreading Light in the darkness.  Amen.

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Jesus, Remember Me, Please

Posted on November 20, 2016 by sstyves

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The story of the crucified thieves at the cross is a hard lesson. We can be both those individuals at times, begging Christ’s forgiveness for our sins or being arrogant about who we are in light of his gracious mercy. I am paying attention to both stances, hoping to learn what I can from these creatures, especially as the final Door of Mercy closes in Rome and we celebrate the Feast of Christ the King. Does my heart cry out, Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom?

When we don’t get our way, we can believe that Christ has slipped off the cross and not saved us, or as in the Gospel today, is not capable of saving himself and therefore is not the Chosen One. In the First Week of the Spiritual Exercises, the retreatant prays to the crucified Christ on the cross who is there because of this person’s sins.  Painful colloquies can follow if the retreatant is honest. The humble one who is promised that on that very day he will join Christ in Paradise knows he is getting what he deserves but that Christ is not. In the colloquy on the cross, we look our King in the eyes and contemplate on the fact that he is in this position because of sins we have committed. He takes the weight of the sin of the world and nails it through his own hands and feet to the cross.

The Door of Mercy never closes in the heart of Christ the King. As I reflect back on my spring pilgrimage I remember the doors that I walked through, the humility of praying on my knees, the glory of the God-whispers, the encounters along the way, and the peace that invaded my soul. I remember with gratitude and joy. I remember only a portion but Christ remembers it all. I believe that the Ruler of my Heart will remember me when my time comes and will invite me to join the Trinity in Paradise.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Which thief are you more similar to?

What would you say looking into the eyes of the Crucified Christ?

Prayer

Crucified Christ, the nails driven through your hands and feet are my doing. You graciously accept the sharp sorrow of sin as it slices open your humanly divine body.  You offer yourself in love for me, for all of us, for the redemption of the world. Help me to turn away from sin as we enter a new church season and to turn towards you with trust and openness. We await, your coming, Jesus, as a vulnerable human, into our lives. Come Lord Jesus Come. Amen.

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