The Word of Your Life

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I had a friend who would sign off her letters to me with “Until the word of your life be fully spoken…” I did not know that I would walk her to the final week of her life, bringing her the Eucharist at her home when she was too sick to come to mass any more. I have just finally taken a quiet moment to ready Kayla Jean Mueller’s final letter to her family. Those words move me deeply, as I knew they would. They were the words of her life fully spoken. Mueller, an American humanitarian aid worker captured by ISIS, died in captivity. She managed to smuggle out a heart-wrenching letter to her family, bearing her tremendous guilt for causing them such grief and sharing wisdom well beyond her 26 years.

She found great joy in the work that she did and I understand that. It might not always make sense to others who do not understand that deep desire to serve God and put their lives second to that vocation. From an early age, I marveled at the ones who gave their lives for the Kingdom–Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Archbishop Romero, Jean Donovan, and so many others in that great cloud of witnesses that have gone before us. We know those names, but I know that the villages of Rwanda, the forests of eastern Congo, the torture cells in South Africa, and the corn fields of Guatemala hold nameless saints and martyrs. I could not hear her story until I could find a quiet time to listen to it with the respect it deserved.

The words of this woman’s life have to bless those who read them. She came to rely solely on God, seeing good in every situation, including her current one presumably. She owns her decision, and I almost taste her tears when she tells her family not to forgive her and struggles with the pain she has caused them. A brave and beautiful confession and admission of whose she was is sketched out by her words. God came first but family and loved ones were a very close second.

Her gratitude for the gift of her life spills out. Her thankfulness for those who have held her in her free fall into God’s hands is powerful. We do not come into this world alone. We are all connected. We impact one another’s lives in ways that we may never know. This woman wrote in bold, colourful letters that sprawled across the page of her life who she was at her core. Truly after only a quarter of a century, the word of her life was fully spoken, even if it was a short story and not a lengthy tale.

What do the words of your life look like right now? Are they what you want to leave when all has been said and done?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Stairway to Heaven

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Funny how a song gets stuck in your head. I just looked at this picture tonight and even though I have seen it many times since I took it, I thought of that old song that closed so many high school dances and parties. I have this funny memory of dancing with one of the guys from my class and wanting the song to finally end because his sweater was so itchy.

The image made me laugh. I was never a popular girl in school amongst the boys in a romantic way. I was almost always the designated driver (way before the term was coined) or sober one that kept an eye out for my friends. I always had a crowd of people around of people around me though, people who are still dear to me, some of whom I still hang out with today, both male and female. I was right back at those parties in the basement with that song playing in my head, watching us all laugh and enjoy life.

Where does an old familiar song bring you to?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Light in the Darkness

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Today as I drove home amidst whirling snow and poor visibility, I began to think about how blessed I was to have so many amazing friends surrounding me for most of my life. They have been beacons for me that light my path. Even in the darkest hours, they have led me through to the other side. I am grateful for these people tonight.

I am also cognizant that storms are sometimes best survived by slowing down, breathing and moving forward despite the fear or the desire to not continue. Some rush ahead boldly, but foolishly–mostly half-ton trucks who think they won’t end up in the ditch. Others are happy to find community in a convoy and journey together. That would be me. I stayed in the line up and did not speed forward into the blustery weather. I arrived safe and sound at my destination.

How do you weather storms? Do you keep your eyes on the Light in the darkness?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Value of Community

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Job and his friends are having an intense conversation in today’s first reading. Psalm 147 also extols the value of a community, one that sings praises to our God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. In Mark’s Gospel we see Jesus ministering to Simon’s mother-in-law, followed by the community bringing Jesus all those who were sick or possessed with demons.

Christ is at work amongst a community that gathers together to heal those in need. Job, in the Old Testament, is suffering and his friends come to support him. Perhaps it is of no matter that they miss the mark a bit. The fact is that they gather and want the best for him, just as the community does in the New Testament Gospel reading. We want the best for those we love. We desire healing and wholeness for those who need it.

Christ desires this for communities too. The work of healing prayer is draining though and he takes time to rise while it is still dark and go to a deserted place to pray. Having grabbed a few moments of silence and prayer, he is on again, to the mission for which he is called.

What is your experience of a community surrounding you? Do you call upon them when you are in need?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Who Touched Me?

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In the Gospel reading today, the courageous woman reaches out and touches the cloak of Christ. This marvelous story is placed in between the telling of another bold man in need whose daughter is dying. These two stories involve people who believe in Jesus’ power to heal. One comes out of love for his child and invites Jesus to come and lay his hands on her so that she may be made well and live. The desperate plea of the father wins Jesus over and he sets out. The other dares to ask for her own needs in order to end her long suffering.

On the way, the woman who has struggled for many years has heard about this Healer, the One we have come to know as the Great Physician. Her faith in Christ was so tremendous that she does not even ask, she simply reaches out to touch him, believing that this gesture will be enough to cure her–and it is. She is immediately healed. Christ knows that power has been taken from him and asks who has touched him. Fearfully, the boldness partially gone from her, the woman owns her action and falls down in front of him, telling him the whole truth. What was that whole truth, I wonder? Did she explain how no one had been able to help her? Was it the many tears she and her family had wept because of her ailment? Perhaps it was her fear that she was dying as she only became worse as the medical professionals failed her. Whatever her truth was, Jesus blessed her and sent her of in peace, affirming her faith and healing her of her disease.

In the meantime, this interchange has delayed him sufficiently that Jarius’ daughter has passed away but Jesus asks that he not fear but also, like this woman, believe. In the midst of the non-believers, Christ takes her hand, because unlike the woman, she cannot touch him. Christ instead now reaches out and touches this child. I wonder if she spent the rest of her life wondering who touched her. Who was this man who touched her and brought her back to the land of the living, who restored her to her family and friends?

Christ touches us and we are never the same. Sometimes, when we are bold enough, we approach his throne of grace and ask on behalf of someone else who needs to be touched. If we are especially brazen, we might reach out and touch Jesus when we are most in need. We might fall down on our knees in fear, awe, and gratitude and tell the whole truth. These moments are when our faith makes us well and we can go in peace, healed of what afflicted us. May you find the strength to reach out when you need to.

Peace,

Suzanne

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With Authority

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The Gospel today is short and blunt. Mark does not ever really couch his writings in poetry or prose. He gets to the point, and often abruptly. In the first chapter, Jesus enters the synagogue and begins to teach, astounding the crowd with his wisdom and authority. A man with an unclean spirit recognizes the holiness and power that Christ possesses and names it. Jesus rebukes the unclean spirit and calls him out of the man to the amazement of those present. Even evil spirits obey this teacher.

Many of us have unclean spirits of sorts within us. They are the things that bind us and prevent us from living a free life. These are our addictions, the unhealthy parts of us that are not yet ready to change, and anything that we are not yet ready to give up. In Ignatian terms, these are our disordered attachments that allow us from living out the life for which we were created. We may indeed fear that Christ has come to destroy these as we desperately try to hide them. We know that the things that keep us from Christ know that he is the Holy One of God. They tempt us to run the other way, persuade us to pursue non-life giving opportunities, and shackle us to sin. Sometimes these behaviours even welcome evil spirits into our temples without us even knowing they have taken up residence. The Examen helps us to be vigilant about the daily choices we make.

Jesus has authority over our lives. May we always allow Christ to rebuke what is not of God in our lives and call it out of us. May we learn to be alert to all that will keep us from this Teacher.

Peace,

Suzanne

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Life’s Storms

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Today’s Gospel is a dear one to me–Jesus catching a much-needed nap in the boat while a storm rages that frightens the other occupants, his disciples. Wouldn’t it be nice to sleep so deeply in the midst of life’s roller coaster rides? Most of us are more similar to the disciples–we panic at the first sign of water in our boat.

What is it that scares you most? What frightens you so that you lay awake at night, unable to find peace? Does something paralyze you? I have a crazy fear of heights so I know that irrational terror that clutches at my throat and makes me stop dead in my tracks. What do you do when that happens? How do you find your centre again? The disciples knew. They called upon Jesus. They were slightly whiny about it–“Do you not care?” In their distress they had moved to blaming. At least they remembered who could help them. Help them, he did with three words: Peace! Be still! The sea and wind obeyed.

Who is this Man who makes even the wind obey Him? The disciples were filled with awe and yet a new fear may have crept over them. How on earth did He do that? Only Heaven knows. Why were they afraid though? Was it because He was asleep and silent? They could not hear or see that it was under control. God had this. Our faith is weak. We see it again and again both in Scripture and in life when we fail to stand in the calm of Christ’s standard. We have chosen Christ as our King but sometimes the storms of life leave us frozen, unable to completely trust that all shall be well. The Principle and Foundation of the Exercises ask us for an immense trust. They mention that we are to not hold on to riches or poverty, sickness or health, honour or dishonour, or a long life or short. We are to let it all go and live the life God created us for. It is our fear that mostly gets in the way, oftentimes tied in with our pride. If we live in consolation, we know Christ is near always. The disciples were in spiritual desolation, even though Christ was right in the same boat with them, they forgot Him in their fear. When they called out to Him, He was immediately there.

Do not let the storms in your life cast out your calm. Christ is there with his mantle over you. Believe it.

Peace,

Suzanne

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Community Calm

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As I drove along the beautiful prairies today, I was thinking of the value of community in my life. Ever since I was a child, I have been drawn to community. Like a strong tree, I have chosen the company of the forest to plant my roots in. I think that has added sparkle to my life. What is it that brings sparkle to you?

Have you given thanks for that lately?

Peace,

Suzanne

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What Will You Leave?

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In today’s Gospel, Jesus invites some of the men who will become his disciples to come and follow him. They lay down their nets immediately in Mark’s rendition and follow him. He walks on a little further and invites two more men and they too leave the boat and their father to follow him at once.

What is it that you will leave behind to follow Christ? How quickly will you leave it? These are challenging questions and yet the invitation comes gently, “Come, follow Me.” When Christ calls, do you recognize that Voice over all others?

There is a powerful scene in the movie, Selma, in which Martin Luther King, Jr. drops to his knees and prays on the bridge before making a hard decision. As he bows in prayer, so do all those marching with him. When he rises, people are confused and yet one cannot help but wonder what God said to him at that moment. The outcome is mixed if we look only at the short-term event that followed but not if one looks with the long view of God’s eyes.

The Call of the King is a beautiful exercise of the Spiritual Exercises. The retreatant imagines an earthly leader who invites on a mission. Then the retreatant imagines Christ the King calling, “Come!” In prayer, the retreatant is asked to see the qualities of these two leaders and their own reaction to each. I could not help but think of this exercise while watching Selma. King called many and he often had to discern which way to go and how to go. He kept his eyes on the true King it seems. He was not sidetracked by Malcolm X or President Johnson. He was not deterred by violence. He was not distracted by in-house arguments. He knew his mission and tried to accomplish it.

Other leaders in the film–Johnson, Senator Wallace, J. Edgar Hoover–they all are seen leading with their egos. Somehow, they abandon their lives of faith, if they have them, to cling to power and fame. The Exercises teach us to let go of all but Christ. I was touched by Coretta’s ability to step past the shame of the infidelity of her husband to join him on the mission. She seemed like a woman who knew what King she was really following.

We have to leave behind so much when we are leaders if we are to be the kind that people will leave everything and immediately follow. As a leader we need to peel off our wants, our goals, our weariness, our egos, our dreams, our security, for the greater good. We stand on solid ground when we lead with eyes fixed on Christ. This is the One who will gently call us while we go about our day’s work and say “Come, follow me.” Not all of us will have to lay down our lives in obedience to this call like Dr. King and the King he followed, but we will have our daily deaths. What must you lay down in order to boldly and immediately follow Christ?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Where in the World?

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Where in the world can you run to so that you can escape God’s love and mercy? One of my favourite psalms is 139. God knows us so intimately that even before we were born and whether we try to hide, God knows where we are and what is happening. Try running to the far corners of the world to prove it. You will still encounter God there. That is one of the blessings of our faith and our personal relationship with the One who created us.

Stop running. See God here. Now.

Peace,

Suzanne

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