Today I was on retreat with the Ignatian Lay Volunteers. We had a morning of remembering and I was finally able to spend some time reflecting on my experience in South Africa. One of the readings was about slaves and as I read it, I was transported back to the Slave Lodge in Cape Town. Our memories are bound in time, space, and history. What does remembering mean? How do we remember? Why do we remember certain things and not others?
In the afternoon, we talked about treasure. What do we treasure and ponder in our hearts? What makes us worry and fret? What is the pattern of our fretting? I found this time insightful as I could see that I fret most when I don’t give the details of my day to God or when I do and then realize I have snatched them out of Divine hands and have them grasped tightly in mine again. I also worry when I know that I have not done what I was supposed to have done. Upon walking this morning, my mind went immediately to my car which I have not yet winterized. Would it start? What if the battery was dead? Why hadn’t I plugged it in? Would I be late now if it didn’t start?
I treasure Mystery and ponder it gently in my heart. In life, we are often given challenges that do not make sense and I am learning to hold those Mysteries lightly. One day, on the other side, I may see what my life has meant but for now I have to embrace the questions and believe it will make sense.
What are the memories that you need to sit with and treasure?