I am unsure if it is because this month I have spent some time praying for sick relatives or that this topic has come up a number of times for me but I have been reflecting on how I have spent life thus far. We are given one amazing life to spend, to live, to share. How are you doing with our life?
This morning I watched this link that a friend posted on Facebook http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHMD_EqM61I&feature=youtu.be and the question came back to me. I have always said that I have lived joyfully and fully. I have known moments so incredibly beautiful that words cannot describe what was inscribed on my soul. I have experienced sorrow so profound that I was never sure if the brokenness would be healed. On the emotional continuum, I have tasted the banquet well.
I have few regrets along the journey though I wish I had learned some lessons without the struggle. My life has not been mine. It has always belonged to God. My early memories are of a deep relationship with the One who abides in All. I breathed the Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius from my childhood, without knowing it. I was created to praise, honour and serve God. My heart has always wanted to serve this Creator, to know everything I could about the One who created me, to praise the Name above all names.
Like most creatures I have failed along the way. I have also stood proudly and bowed my head in awe when I have seen what this lowly vessel can do when I offer myself for the good of all. I have been blessed with amazing people along the way, travels that accentuate the beauty and horror of this world, and opportunities that still sometimes overwhelm me. I have tried to seek God in it all. I have tried to be a light to the dark places. I have been attentive to the deeper meaning in life. I have gone the extra mile. I have received generous acts of love. I am so grateful for it all, even the darkest moments. Life has been such a treasure.
Lately I have been wondering if I have missed a calling. If I have done the deeds God has wanted me to do or if I have wandered off on adventures that have been a diversion. I worry if I have done enough or if I have caused too much pain in the world instead of relieving it. These voices do not bring peace and I have decided that they are not of God. I know that when I get to the Gate I will be tenderly and lovingly greeted, not because of what I have or have not done. None of that is meant to be the reason for my reward. I can enter because God’s mercy and love are abundant. It is not really about me. That does not let me off the hook though. I am still asked to spend this one life graciously and gratefully.
How are you living your adventure?