I am tired tonight and really should head to bed but I want to purge my thoughts here. This year has already brought an awareness of grief to me. Tomorrow is the funeral of the sister of a childhood friend of mine. He and I refound each other after many years of separation and I love having him in my life. I remember his sister; he is one of the youngest children in a large French Canadian family. His parents and mine square danced together. His other sister and I and he and my brother used to hang out together at the lake. He grew into a lovely adult whose friendship I cherish. In our email exchanges, I can almost feel his anguish. I am disappointed that I will not be able to attend the funeral tomorrow. What I have appreciated though is catching a glimpse of his faith on this painful journey. He will be ok.
I have a couple of friends who prior to Christmas received some medical diagnoses that were hard to hear. They each have their own path to walk and I know that they are going to walk it with strength and courage. I was relieved to hear today the positive news from one that the issue is curable. Big sigh of relief there. The other friend has an awesome kick-butt attitude that is admirable.
I have been fighting one infection after another since returning from Europe this fall and am grateful to be over those. My doctor continues to run tests to see if anything is going on that needs to be addressed. I stand in the news waiting for confirmation of possibilities. I choose to not hold on to fear and to wait in the present with hope and peace.
Tonight I went out to the Women’s Correctional Centre where a young woman I know is recently incarcerated. Someone in her life and I are very close friends and since I live here and my friend does not, I agreed to go visit this woman. In the middle of a crazy storm that shut down the highway, I managed to still squeak up to the point of the closure and turn off to the road that leads to the jail. After our hour visit, I left feeling heartened and that I had definitely seen the face of God. As I shared with my friend afterwards, we found solace in a number of things from my visit. I have a deep sense that God is using this to bless us all and to draw us closer to the Rock.
On Wednesday, my Christmas cactus bloomed for the first time in years. It is a single bloom and it does not look like there will be any more coming but all I could do looking at it, knowing that this week would bring all sorts of updates, was to feel incredibly grateful and hope-filled. Somehow, I know that all shall be well for all of us.