Week Three

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I have not been able to write my daily blog posts lately. The third week in my chemo cycle is a bit of a kick to the curb. Physically, I feel the most unwell and mentally, I find myself exhausted. My energy goes into resting and staying positive.

I stand in awe of what some patients can endure with these treatments. I look around at people in the other chairs and most of them seem to have longer infusions that take a toll on them. I applaud the staff who stay cheerful as we struggle at times or look unwell. They are saints. I was saying to my social worker this week that I do not think I am doing anything extraordinary with handling the chemo–I just do it because I have to. He reminded me that the extraordinary appears in the ordinary. I have been mulling this over since seeing him and realize that yes, there is something great required here and I must be grateful for grace and for the prayers that carry me through.

I plod along and realize that next week I am at the halfway mark. Three months are done and three months are left. The whole experience still feels a bit surreal to me. Last night I lay in bed thinking about all I had been through and I could feel the weariness in my mind and body. I still think that I have somehow let my body down and been unable to protect it on some levels but that I can still offer it compassion. Perhaps that is an odd thought as most would suggest that my body has let me down but I see it working so hard to get and stay well. Today I went to a physiotherapist who does release work and my body responded beautifully to her healing touch. At times, it shuddered and then let go, relaxing in the strength that was being restored. As my therapist’s hands became warmer, my body would feel cold and I would shiver. Healing was happening.

Our bodies are our temples. They need to be treated well. They house our minds and spirits which need a safe place to reside. May this body continue to heal with the prayers of those who hold me and may I be a good landlord, allowing it to rest and recover.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions:
What is the state of your temple today?
Have you had an experience of trauma to your body? How has it healed?

Prayer

Great Physician,
send your healing light
to my core being,
cleansing the trauma and the turmoil
of my mind, body and spirit.
Restore me to complete health
and allow me to shine forth that
light that has permeated me.

Amen.

About sstyves

A Canadian prairie girl rooted in Ignatian spirituality, I seek God in all things. Whether I catch a glimpse of the Divine and delight in its presence in nature or in the beauty of an encounter with someone, I am ever so grateful that I can recognize the Creator. I greet each new day with hope and happiness, expecting blessings and miracles because I am created to praise, love and serve God. This blog is one way of realizing that through my writings, prayers, and photography. To God be the Glory!
This entry was posted in #CancerSurvivor, #Consolation, #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Week Three

  1. Monica says:

    What a beautiful prayer…and I love your words about feeling compassion for your body (rather than feeling that it has let you down). Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Three more weeks…will keep you in my prayers.

  2. Monica says:

    I realize that it’s 3 more months not three more weeks. Hoping it goes by quickly for you….

  3. Karen Wheadon says:

    Hi Suzanne,

    I clearly misinterpreted from your personal email to me the kind of week you’re having. I thought you meant you were having a better week with this cycle of chemo, but clearly not.

    For most of us whose bodies will never have to be put through rounds of chemo, we will never truly know what cancer patients have to endure. Your posts Suzanne , with such honesty, have made it more real for us. You’re a fighter Suzanne. Listen to your body and continue to nourish it with good things like rest and that special physio work and you are extraordinary my friend …..in many ways.

    Sending sweet dreams and a restful sleep, Love, Karen

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    • sstyves says:

      Thanks, Karen. I shifted a bit today and should be more like normal tomorrow. I am off to bed now. Blessings to you. I will respond to your email tomorrow.

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