Clobbered by Chemo

I was speaking with the local archbishop yesterday and explained that I had been clobbered by chemo. We had a brief but good talk before others joined us. He encouraged me to keep letting go of things and to put myself and my health first. Everything else could wait.

Someone that I have known only as an acquaintance over the years and then once as a talented and brilliant professor has begun sharing his blog with the world. I want to share this link to it: because I can so relate to the elephants that I dance with, the elephants that do not need to be in the room because I have not brought them in, and the thinking that Jarem has that resonates much of my own. One of the first times I met him–in fact, it may have been the first time–I remember thinking, that young man is gonna go places. He did…and he still does. He has my respect and unwavering support. As I rummage around his rumblings, they resonate.

Somewhat of a people-pleaser, I find it hard to be so exhausted all the time in this new normal. I know that certain people have expectations of me that I cannot live up to and I have let go of them quite some time ago, but they have not. They insist on dragging the elephant into the room while I want it to go play outside and be free. I just want to be liberated, too. Jarem has some hilarious observations about this and how to deal with them but I cannot find them tonight. Explore his site and discover them for yourself.

The more my reaction to this disease and its treatment releases my inhibitions and unhealthy behaviours, the more I marvel at the person I might be in a few months. I am going to read Jarem’s take on life, illness and death and then figure out what lessons are there for my own journey. I think being knocked down by chemo is the beginning of yet a more complete letting go and as Jarem suggests, an opportunity to dance with elephants that come parading through our lives that we do not really wish to examine. Perhaps that is the blessing for me in all this. I have always loved to dance.



Reflection Questions

Is there something in your life that needs to wait right now while you deal with the most important aspect of your life?
What elephants in life must you learn to dance with?


You fell, not once, not twice,
but three times.
You got up each time and
walked to Calvary.
You hung on that cross
and rose again
against all odds
in spite of the disbelievers.
You show us that we can
rise again too.
May I follow the
blood-marked path
knowing that
Life is waiting.


About sstyves

A Canadian prairie girl rooted in Ignatian spirituality, I seek God in all things. Whether I catch a glimpse of the Divine and delight in its presence in nature or in the beauty of an encounter with someone, I am ever so grateful that I can recognize the Creator. I greet each new day with hope and happiness, expecting blessings and miracles because I am created to praise, love and serve God. This blog is one way of realizing that through my writings, prayers, and photography. To God be the Glory!
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2 Responses to Clobbered by Chemo

  1. B Nolan says:

    Love you so much!!! And thanks for elephant blog link. Really enjoyed. Bye for now B

    Sent from my iPhone


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