Daniel 12 today says Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever. Something happened that made these words prophetic as the day unfolded.
I write this blog for all kinds of reasons. Firstly, writing about life is cathartic for me. Secondly, it is an easy way for family and friends near and far to follow my journey without me having to tell it a dozen times. People can plug in as they desire–or not. The writings are as real as I can make them because I want people to know what is going on for me. Thirdly, my words may help some stranger on a similar path or guide someone who is accompanying someone else. Some days, I do not feel as if I am shining brightly at all but I do hope that I can still lead some folks to a right place, a healing spot, and a hopeful conclusion. While this blog is not always about my health, lately that theme dominates.
In a couple of weeks I am supposed to give a talk on prayer. I had begun to mull over what I am going to say about my current situation but I realize how vulnerable I feel right now and how my emotions are unpredictable. I know that this story is worth telling–that the prayers that are lifted through this blog and through other request arenas are keeping me sane and in consolation.
I have several prayer partners that I turn to at various points. One group of prayer warriors (a term I struggle with as a pacifist yet sometimes we need to acknowledge the battle that life can be) has been utterly amazing. Headed by a former parishioner who now lives a thousand miles away from me, I have put my trust in his email group. If I ever crash, he gets an email and, without exception, my situation improves. I recently sent him an email that went kind of like this: Maybe it is time for another prayer request. I am struggling with the chemo effects. Sigh. Then I went on to list what was going on.
He posted the request immediately and then the next day he wrote back: Hang in there…its a tough road. Love you. I sent an update so grateful that things had improved and thanking God for the prayer warriors. He sent that around to those who were praying. From that came an email from one of them, who had been reflecting on the call to pray for cancer patients, especially children, since receiving my request. She shared this insight: There are many who are not strong enough to write or as eloquent to write and ask for help. May Suzanne’s plea for prayers represent all the others who are struggling in the same way. I was so touched by this wisdom and dedication to the prayer ministry. During my illness, I have learned to be instead of do and yet prayer is still one thing I can do. My own prayer request being transformed into the greater good does seem like an image for a brilliant constellation of shining brightness of the night sky. In the dark is the spark of Light that brings more than we can ask or imagine.
Many have found this blog a refuge for their own struggles, even though the issues are different. The collective wisdom of sharing our stories will bring healing. I am humbled that this forum and a humble, and desperate, plea for prayer can bring Light to a world in need.
When has something you have done somewhat selfishly turned into being something for the greater good?
Have you seen the fingerprints of God massaging the situation to bring life and healing?
Creator of the Universe,
teach us how to shine like brightness
in the darkest night of the soul;
use us to lead many to righteousness