I am finding that I tire more easily lately. If I do one thing in a day, I need to nap afterwards. The energizer bunny has become a turtle. The do-er is finding wisdom in being. My blog posts may be sporadic over the next while. The doctor told me that he envisions the last two months of chemotherapy as being uneventful but that if something changes we will negotiate a new plan. I am in the home stretch. Eight weeks left. I am grateful for all the love and support that has come my way.
This purple rock comes from the Rock. A sunny cool day here, I talked myself into walking (rather than driving) to the post office to pick up a parcel. I had thought it was from an overseas friend but instead was delighted it was from a friend on the East Coast. A box filled with a variety of awesome goodness was carried home and one by one, the treasures unwrapped with gratitude and joy. I am so blessed by a number of good folks in my life.
I have been thinking a bit about heroes this week as I saw Mockingjay II, the finale of the Hunger Games Trilogy. I have so many every day heroes that infuse my life that as I opened my box of presents, I knew that gratitude was perhaps a song sung by a bird too. A small group of spiritual directors are keeping me fed with muffins–one of the few things that seems to satisfy my own hunger game–now I am hungry and now I am not so choose something quickly to sustain this body. Another group of friends drop off snacks and meals. Those who accompany me to medical appointments and listen and advise me afterwards are my heroes. Their insights are invaluable and then they know exactly what I need. When the doctor says push fluids, I later explain why this is hard and how I have started to drink bottled carbonated water because it does increase my fluid intake despite my beliefs about bottled water, and hours later glass bottles of the liquid are dropped off at my house. There are sometimes no words, just gratitude.
In Mockingjay, President Coin tells Katniss: Mockingjay, may your aim be as true as your heart is pure. Katniss does not surprise anyone who has been watching the series closely–her heart is pure and that is why she has become a bestselling heroine. She does the right thing with her pure heart for the good of all once again, as she has done throughout. She makes tough decisions and stands by her integrity.
When I think of the people who have have been of most support to me, they are my friends with integrity. I know I can count on them because their behaviour is predictable. They put up with my moments of whining and self-pity, knowing that I will find my centre again. They do for me when I cannot and let me do when I can. They hear the hard stories and the funny ones. They continue to see me as a whole person and not just someone who is sick. Their aim is true and their hearts are pure.
Sometimes we pick as our heroes people we do not know well and when they disappoint us, they come crashing off the pedestal and break into a thousand sorry pieces. I like my every day heroes. I like their fidelity and care. I like their sensibility and courage. I am awed by their ability to stick with me. Choose your heroes well, and may their hearts be pure so as not to disappoint.
Who are your heroes in life?
What qualities make them so?
May my aim be true, Jesus
May I set my heart upon my sleeve
and trust that its purity will withstand
the slings and arrows of those
who wish to tarnish it.
May my eyes not stray from you
in all that I do.