Earth Angels

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Advent is a good time to reflect on life. Some days I think I reflect too much. A couple of things have happened in the past two days that I am going to try to piece together here. As I start Round Five, I try to stay in the present moment, but I do find myself looking back and forward at the same time.  That is a good way to give yourself a headache!

A couple of days a friend of mine sent a blog post that he thought I might like. He was right–it was on gratitude and I did like it.  As I explored the blog I came upon this wisdom: http://deniseperreault.projectconnectonline.org/my-special-requests/  Sometimes it is better if someone else says something you have said so that people do not take it personally or if you have not been brave enough to say it, they can say it for you.  Everyone is different but some of these insights are pretty applicable to me.

I think people’s intentions are good.  I have had very few mean-spirited people on my path. Yesterday, I had an endearing encounter after mass. An older gentleman came up to me and began with these words: I don’t mean to offend you but I want to ask you something…..I smiled back and readied myself. Why are you not married? are you not into that?  I am pretty sure that was what he said although my mind these days does not hold information the way it once did. When I ran it by a friend of mine later, she wondered the same thing–if he was asking about my sexual preference. To clarify without asking, I laughed and said that I could still find a husband and maybe he should pray for me.  He got quite excited about that prospect and so I wonder now if I set myself up for a string of nephews or grandsons being paraded by me.

The truth is that right at this moment I do not have much energy for such matters. I still feel like a train wreck waiting to happen.  The experience of being so seriously ill as a single person has been fascinating to me. Certain events would have been easier with a life partner for sure but I maintain that I am well taken care of by my earth angels. I have never felt deeply lonely in some ways during these many months.  I have been alone and that has had an ache to it at times but sometimes I would much rather be alone and allow myself to be in God’s arms than anywhere else.  I am not sure that makes sense because it seems contradictory.

My tenacity and independence are both my friend and foe right now.  I have been thinking for a few weeks–since being so sick–that I need to have people come be with me on my chemo days.  I have five more sessions to get through and I think that by mid-afternoon I should invite a friend to be here with me or go stay with someone.  Several people have already nabbed a spot. I just need to confirm with them from our early conversations that we can do this.  I am still figuring out if it would be more helpful or not.  I mostly need to sleep on those days but I also need someone to bring me fluids and mashed potatoes too.

On that note, I have friends who have invited me over for supper tonight so I best be on my way. Some of my favourite earth angels, I need to ensure that I eat tonight and I am glad that they are providing that option.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How good are you at drawing boundaries regarding your personal needs?

What can an earth angel do for you today?

Prayer

Send me Earth Angels to accompany me

Blessed, wingless creatures whose hearts

are filled with compassion and empathy.

I thank you for these fearless ones

who minister with your hands and feet.

Amen.

 

About sstyves

A Canadian prairie girl rooted in Ignatian spirituality, I seek God in all things. Whether I catch a glimpse of the Divine and delight in its presence in nature or in the beauty of an encounter with someone, I am ever so grateful that I can recognize the Creator. I greet each new day with hope and happiness, expecting blessings and miracles because I am created to praise, love and serve God. This blog is one way of realizing that through my writings, prayers, and photography. To God be the Glory!
This entry was posted in #CancerSurvivor, #Consolation, #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Earth Angels

  1. Karen Wheadon says:

    So wish I was nearby Suzanne. I would have had so much time I could have offered. But glad to know you are in good hands of your earth angel friends.

    Eat and rest, I hope you feel a better soon.i know the treatments must take so much out of you.

    Here’s a little news update when you’re up to reading.

    We are in west part of Thailand. Taking an easy day today, staying rural at our b&b, which is about 14 km outside city of Kanchanaburi. Just came back from a nice rural bike ride. Special day today, King Rama’s birthday. Everyone bike riding and festival all week in Kanchanaburi. Busy last few days of sight seeing. One day we spent full day in Kanchanaburi, visiting the Kanchanaburi War Cemetery and museum, then strolled one of the main busy streets and had a meal in a small hole in the wall restaurant. Excellent food, recommended on trip advisor:) and she also runs cooking classes.

    Yesterday we decided to do full day tour taking in the main attractions we wanted to see as they are all outside of the city. Great tour! In the morning we went to Erawan National Park to see the 7 tier waterfalls, lovely with clear glacial blue waters in lovely forest with trails to the different levels. Beautiful swim and I had fish massage! As soon as you enter the water, all the fish come nibbling at your skin…they like the dead skin:) so cool, loved it. Had lunch at the place, then afternoon we went to The Death Railway and Hellfire Pass. Very historic and moving experience. Over 100,000 POWs lost their lives under horrific laborious conditions building the Thailand – Burma railway, 1943-44, about 16,000 from commonwealth countries whose graves we saw and about 90, 000 Asian slave Laborors whose lives sadly not accounted for. Over 300, 00 men all together worked at building the railway, taken capture by the Japanese. We got to walk through the most difficult cutting in construction of the railway, hence called Hellfire Pass with men working even at nite under torch lights, grueling 18 hr days. Such a beautiful peaceful place now to walk with stunning mountain terrain in background and beautiful bamboo forest. Then a ride on the death railway on old train. Ended our day at the famous bridge over River Kwai. Our tour was finished but Randy and I stayed and had dinner at restaurant on the river, very lovely. Later saw a show, River Kwai bridge festival, a popular commemorative to this areas role in World War 2, lights, fireworks, theatrical portrayal of building of railway and bombing of the river Kwai bridge, 1945. Taxi back late at night. Our taxi was benches back of old pickup truck. Although we like to do a lot of things ourselves, the tour helped save us a lot of time as attractions spread out.

    Tomorrow long day of travel to island of Koh Chang, east in the gulf of Thailand. Depart 7 am viva minivan back to Bangkok, another minivan to town of Trat, ferry to island, taxi to B&b. Likely 10-11 hr day.

    Going to local festival a walk nearby later and bite to eat at local market later.

    All is well, Love, Karen xoxo

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    • sstyves says:

      Love that you are off to a great start in your adventure. My friend from Singapore spent her 50th birthday in Thailand over the weekend. I am not exactly sure where but it looked like she had a lovely time too.

      I would much rather have you exploring the world than being here with me though appreciate the thoughts and your caring. Be my eyes and heart as you travel and live it all well. xo.

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