Today’s reading from Isaiah 41 is a good reminder of our creaturehood. The Lord calls Jacob a worm and Israel an insect, promising to help them as their Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel. The Lord says I, the Lord your God hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, do not fear, I will help you.
I have been very aware of my creaturehood in the hospital. There is so much dignity that can be stripped away in this milieu. This morning for example while the two female health care aides checked another patient, the male came to me to see if I had bed sores. As I mooned him, I realized how I could feel humiliated or make light of the awkwardness of the moment. There is no place for modesty here, something I learned from my hospital stay during my resection.
A woman who had been sharing the room with me last week would wake up in the middle of the night and pray in great distress: Lord, come to help me. I don’t know why this is happening to me. Be merciful to me, Lord. Despite her dementia, she still asked God to help her. Her prayer moved me.
I feel God‘s right hand holding mine as I reach the two-week mark of being in the hospital with no discharge date in sight. It has been a little bit frustrating at times. I see my body waste away and I get nervous. However today I surpassed my goal of making it to the love seat and walked to the next configuration of furniture. The chatty physiotherapy assistant simply kept moving me forward and I followed. I’m sure God was my second spotter. We sat for awhile before heading back to the room for my exercises.
I do feel sort of like a bug-somewhat insignificant and worthless stuck in this bed until I realize that God can use me and teach me here too. God will take me by the hand and lead me to places I don’t necessarily want to go. I still need to follow the Creator, trusting the Plan. I will not be afraid because I know God will help me.
When have you felt your creaturehood most strongly?
When have you felt God holding your hand?
Hand-Holder, you are with me, aware of my needs before I am. Stay with me and lead me on. I will not fear for you are with me. Amen.