God’s Field

Posted on August 31, 2016 by sstyves

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I had an early start to my day, as I caught a plane at 6:00. I slept during the flight for a bit and then pulled out my morning devotionals. The new collects seem wordy to me and I sometimes have to read them three times before they make sense. Today’s was meaningful to me:  …grant your people to love what you command and to desire what you promise, that amid the uncertainties of this world, our hearts may be fixed on that place where true gladness is found.  God plants in our hearts the seeds that will sprout with joy and peace if we fix our eyes on God’s promises despite and amid the uncertainties in front of us.

The idea of God as a Gardener is appealing to me, being the daughter of a farm boy who always kept a patch of earth in the city for homegrown goodness. Today’s first reading is about planting, watering and growing. We can plant, we can water, but only God will give the growth, 1 Corinthians 3 says. We are God’s field, it continues. I liked that image.  I tried to visualize what my field looked like at this moment in time. Would I attract honeybees, hummingbirds and butterflies? Would I nourish a soul in need? Am I overrun with weeds or neatly cared for?

The Gospel tells us that Jesus departs from the crowds and escapes to a deserted place after curing the sick all day. Jesus knew that God was planting, watering and allowing growth but that he needed to take care of himself in order to do the will of his Father. Every field should lay fallow once in awhile to ensure future production.  Jesus knew where his true desire lay, even with the uncertainties of the work that he was doing. Today, in one of my devotional books, I read about Bogdan Mandic, a Croatian friar who had experienced a severe penance as a child and promised that one day he would hear confessions and extend mercy instead of punishment. Saint Leopold Mandic, as he would become later in life, knew that he had a desire to serve God in this way, and would for 50 years.  He transformed what was planted from his bad experience into a beautiful flower that attracted many people. He was accused of being too lenient by his brothers but he looked to Jesus as his model, Jesus who did not humiliate people the way he had been as a child.

He was not lenient–in fact, the story reveals that sometimes he did not give absolution if he occasionally found someone who refused to turn away from their sinful habits. Leopold was badly treated in life, but he continued to show mercy. God’s field within him yielded a magnificent harvest. Abundant crops can be ours too if we focus on where true gladness is to be found.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What state is God’s field in your life?

Have you pulled out weeds in the field like Leopold so as to transform a bad experience for beauty and goodness?

Prayer

Gardener God, you encourage us to grow into something beautiful that the world can enjoy and be blessed by. Let me choose wisely the right people to water and care for me so that my gifts can be used to glorify your name. Amen.

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Holy One of God

Posted on August 30, 2016 by sstyves

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Evil recognizes Goodness. In today’s Gospel Reading from Luke 4,  Jesus encounters a man who had the spirit of an unclean demon. The man cries out in a loud voice that Jesus should leave them alone. He says, I know who you are, the Holy One of God.   Jesus rebuked him, telling him to be silent and commands the demon to come out of the human. The demon leaves without having done him any harm. Everyone watching his amazed at this authority over unclean spirits.

In the first reading from 1 Corinthians 2, the author says that those who are unspiritual do not receive the gifts of God’s Spirit because they are unable to understand them since they must be spiritually discerned. Those who are spiritual however  can discern all things and receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit. They have put on the mind of Christ.  Even recognizes both goodness and evil. I pray that I may learn to discern well and be attentive to both Evil and Goodness in my world. The gifts of the Spirit are worth knowing and asking for. St. Ignatius taught about the discernment of Spirits, enabling people to know when we might be deceived by the Evil One, and when to recognize the work of the Holy One of God. I am grateful for this knowledge but also know that I can still be fooled by what seems like Light. Evil may recognize Goodness and be scared but Goodness recognizes Evil and stands strong. That is what we must learn to do as good people.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Do you recognize Evil when it rears its ugly head?

Do you recognize the Holy One of God in your presence?

Prayer

O Holy One of God, give me a spirit that concerns your presence versus that of the Evil One. Let me stand strong against all that is not of you and make choices that are good and holy. Amen.

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An Angel’s Perspective

Posted on August 29, 2016 by sstyves

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Yesterday I flew.  I put on a harness, put myself in the hands of Mexicans who promised it was safe, and the next thing I knew I was flying high over the ocean. I had an angel’s perspective of the world for just a brief moment.  I could see the brown pelicans and the frigates below me.  This would have been my sister’s 50th birthday, I believe.    I could be wrong about that, but I’m pretty sure I am right.  Either way, it seems like an appropriate day for me to take a different view of the world.

Today I went snorkeling. I watched as brightly-coloured fish darted around me, whole schools of fish dashed to and fro, and I floated effortlessly among them, gobsmacked at how God adorns our world. We live in such beauty.   On the way back to the city we met a pod of dolphins who joyfully greeted us, about twenty of them diving before us at one point. As I sat in the sun on the boat, I wondered if there would be dolphins in heaven.  What will heaven be like if there is so much beauty here?

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What do you imagine the view from heaven is like?

What is the most beautiful image you have seen here on earth?

Prayer

Give me wings to fly, Creator, when the time comes. Let me soar high above all the pain and sorrow here and rest in Heaven when my days are over. Amen.

 

 

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Innumerable Angels

Posted on August 28, 2016 by sstyves

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I have been thinking quite a bit about church community lately. Interestingly enough, my friend and I watched a movie called, Doubt last night with an all-star cast. We were channel surfing at the end of our long day and had missed the beginning. The film is definitely disturbing.  I also had the opportunity to read a book by Wilma Derksen entitled Echo of the Soul which also deals with church community and leadership gone astray.  in the movie, it is the principal who has misused her power while in the book it is the minister – the leader of the church. Today’s Gospel reading from Luke  reminds us that places of honour are not chosen by the guests. Humility is needed by those who are in positions of power.

In today’s first reading from Sirach 3 the writer reminds us to perform our tasks with humility so that we will be loved by those whom God accepts. The greater you are, the more you must humble yourself; so you will find favour in the sight of the Lord it says there.  It also says that when calamity befalls someone proud, no healing occurs because an evil plant has taken root in them. Both the film and the book address this particular issue, especially the book where the minister of the community is too proud to acknowledge his own brokenness and how he has wounded other people in the village.   Having missed the beginning of the film, I’m not sure what the principles story was, but she too broke the person that did not deserve to be broken.

The priest in the film gives a homily about gossip being like feathers scattered in the wind.  Once the feathers have  been released, the one who has spread them cannot ever pick them all up again. Our words, our judgments, and our actions impact people in ways that we cannot control.  At various points in my life, I have held positions of power. I know that I have hurt people and for that I am sorry. All I can hope is that they will forgive me. On the flipside, I have been hurt by those in power and all that I can do is to extend mercy and forgive them.

The second reading from Hebrews 12 reminds us that we come to the holy city of Jerusalem were innumerable angels await us in festal gathering where God is the judge of all and the spirits of the righteous are made perfect.  Here as in the Gospel reading we will see who receives the places of honour at the table at the banquet. Some of us may be moved up and some of us may be given the lowest place in disgrace.  What we need to do is remain humble in nature and keep our eyes fixed on God. One day we will come to that Holy Table and I pray that each one of us may be ushered in to a place of honour.  Let us be angels to one another now and practice taking ourselves lightly.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What do you do with the power given to you?

Do you understand the complete impact of gossip?

Prayer

Innumerable angels await us at the festal gathering. Make our hearts ready now, Creator God, so that when we arrive we can celebrate together.  Let us not rush to the seats of honour here, but humble ourselves in service to those in need. Amen.

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More Will Be Given

Posted on August 27, 2016 by sstyves

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The Gospel of the talents is a hard one to understand. Why does Jesus give more to those that already have and takes away the single one that is left unused?  As I read it this morning, the emotion that I discovered was fear. The one who had received the one talent went off and dug a hole and buried his master’s money. He did  this out of fear. He knew that his master was a harsh employer and so while he kept the money safe he did not invest it wisely. The first man who had received the five talents went off immediately and began to use them, trading them until he doubled what he was given. This man received the other man’s talent.

What I learned in one of the meditation books that I read every morning is that one talent is about the equivalent of 80 pounds of silver which works out to about 20 years of wages in those times.   This means that the man who received the five talents had enough wages for more than a lifetime. How scary that must have been for him! Yet he does not let his fear get the best of him. Instead straightaway he goes and works for the Master.  There is no hesitation. There is no fear.  Are we able to do the same for God?

Many years ago, I took a Life in the Spirit seminar and one of the women praying with me had a vision of Jesus coming before me with a silver platter stacked high with gifts brightly and beautifully decorated. The image still takes my breath away.  I remember, at the time, feeling quite overwhelmed with that vision. However, I hope that I have held true to opening those gifts and sharing them with our world. God is such a gracious giver. God gives more than enough. Even the man who received only one talent was given more than enough. God has given me more.than.enough. For that I am incredibly grateful.

I think each of us receive more than enough and we cannot hoard it. We are meant to share.  We are part of a community. We depend on one another. Yesterday, I went back to see the artist whose painting had haunted me and to thank him for his gift to me. His talent had sparked action for me that changed me and blessed me. I walked through every door that year that I could because of him. That is what each of us are called to do. Be more than enough. You have all that it takes, my friends.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Are you hoarding or sharing your talent?

Does fear control you or do you know that you are more than enough?

Prayer

Generous God, pour out your blessings on us and remove any fear that we may have so that we may use these for your glory.  You give more than enough. Help us to use what you give to bless others and to make this world the amazing place that you envision. Amen.

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God’s Foolishness

Posted on August 26, 2016 by sstyves

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The First Reading this morning from 1 Corinthians 1 is about God’s foolishness. The reading ends with the verse 25 which says For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength.  The reading also says that the message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to those who are being saved it is the power of God. God has made foolish the wisdom of the world and for those of us who believe it does probably seem like foolishness to those who do not.  The Gospel Reading for Matthew 25 is about the foolish  bridesmaids who wait for their master without enough oil in their lamps.

Of course, these readings for me are quite moving. The message of the cross that I am to carry does seem like foolishness to those who believe I do not deserve such a heavy burden.  Also, I pray that I may have enough oil in my lamp to last until the Master arrives to welcome me into the banquet.   I believe that God’s foolishness is wisdom. We do not always understand it but I most certainly trust it. I do not know exactly how many people will be strengthened by my journey, nor do I know how many may be broken by it. I must trust that there will be more in the first camp than the second.

Last night, my friend and I sat out on the beach chairs, listening to the ocean waves crash on the shore, as we gazed up at the stars as they began to appear in the dark night sky. We shared a good conversation and I felt great peace out there, two dots in our huge universe.  We are called to shine as bright as those celestial lights here, revealing the glory of God. As I prepared to go to bed, I thought of the last time I was here in Mexico. My friends and I had gone to an art gallery in Bucerias, and one of the paintings by the artist haunted me in a good way for the remainder of the trip.  I went back on Holy Saturday for one more look. It was at the Easter Vigil that evening that I realized what the message was – I was to walk through every open door that was presented to me that year. I did so and was incredibly blessed by the opportunities which were presented. Looking back, I suspect God was already nudging me to live more fully and shine more brightly

i think that we do not understand God’s foolishness on this side of heaven but we will learn what all the wisdom was when we get Home.  We need to carry enough oil in our lamps to let our light shine so that the Master can find us  and enough trust deep in our souls to accept the crosses we are given.  None of us know the hour or the day that the Holy One will return but I for one believe in the foolishness of this Way.  As with the photo above, the cross does not end with death, but with life everlasting.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions?

Do you have enough oil in your lap and trust in your heart?

Is God nudging you in a way that seems foolish right now?

Prayer

God of the Universe, Creator of all things, we are but dots that reflect the stars in the heavens here on earth. Help us to shine as bright lights in the world, moving others to wonder with awe at your mighty works.  Amen.

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Rare Jewel

Posted on August 24, 2016 by sstyves

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Today’s first reading from Revelation 21 says that the holy city Jerusalem comes out of heaven from God, with the glory of God, and the radiance like a very rare jewel, like Jasper, clear as crystal.   I’ve said this before, but it is worth repeating: earth holds just a glimmer of heaven and all its glory.  We need eyes to see it but we also need to make the time to explore this glorious globe.  This week I am in Mexico, in part to the generosity of friends from church who gifted me a week at a resort. I could have said no  for all kinds of reasons, not the least that my health may have put some restrictions on my travel ability but I said yes and I am very grateful to my friends and for my own courage to take a leap of faith.

I am here with a friend, building memories that I hope will be precious pearls for the many years ahead.   We settled in today and spent some time in the heat, enjoying the sun and the sea.  Late this afternoon as I walked along the beach by myself, I loved how the water sparkled like diamonds, like a very rare jewel that sets my heart singing. I sometimes think that there is no other place that brings me such joy as a beach but I also know that I am happy in the mountains, in the forest, in a garden, and in so many other spectacular spots.  Of course, my mind always turns to the fact that whatever beauty I see here on earth is, as I say, just a glimmer of what glory awaits in heaven.

The Gospel reading today from John celebrates Nathanael who meets Jesus who knows that he is a man without deceit. I believe  that Jesus knows us two are very core. Christ knows our deepest essence. This week will help me to get back in touch with who I am as Jesus knows me. That will happen as a spend time with my dear friend and time alone.  I will recover the rare jewel that shines within me and that others will recognize as my beauty. It is  important for us to take risks and step out beyond our comfort zones so that we experience heave  on earth. I am grateful for that opportunity this week. I wish you time and space to do the same.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What rare jewel shines from you out into the world?

What would Jesus say is your deepest essence?

Prayer

Let me shine from my true self, Jesus, as a rare jewel for this world to see. Give me space to be in touch with who you wish me to be and then grant me the courage to embrace that  Amen.

 

 

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Lesson Unfolding

Posted on August 22, 2016 by sstyves

IMG_7503Sometimes we stay in prisons long after they are closed. I saw my CancerCare social worker today and asked to start with a mindfulness practice. The events of this week sort of pulled me under rough water. I knew I was in trouble. He obliged and as soon as he began I sensed the tension in my body. I felt heavy. By the end, that stress had dissipated and I was much lighter.

As we talked about what was going on for me, I confessed that fear had gripped me and I lost my centre. The wasps had taken over my mind, buzzing incessantly until I could not pray or breathe. I was feeling nauseous and was not sure if in part, the pesticides in the house were adding to my unease.  I had stopped praying and I was distracted by every movement in my house. The devil had me by the tail as one of my more spiritual friends likes to say.

Last night I tossed and turned for a bit at my friend’s place because I suddenly discovered that my vaccines were not all up-to-date. It turned out to be a bit of a false alarm. I breathed a sigh of relief around 5:00 this evening when the doctor at the travel walk-in clinic confirmed I was good to go.

However, prior to heading to that appointment, I spoke to my landlord’s father who was coming in to check on the wasp situation. Well, he was going to do more than check on it. Apparently, most of the nest was scrapped away but the wasps had made a home in the floor as well so that needs to be ripped up. He wanted to come in and do that but fear gripped me around the throat again. Can you come back tomorrow? I insisted. I really did not want to fall asleep tonight, knowing we had opened that Pandora’s Box. I just need six hours of sleep before I get on that plane tomorrow and buzz out of here myself.

The social worker and I talked about how I might be tired of feeling vulnerable. Interestingly enough, my wise bee friend had mentioned the same concept to me. Yes, I finally agreed. That is a huge piece of it for me.  I really need to move and so when I return from my vacation, I hope that the wasps, mice, squirrels, and spiders are all gone so that I can safely begin to declutter and move into a new space. At this point, I may just move and downsize from the new place. Please pray for peace to return to my heart and my home. On this Marian Feast Day, I ask that Mary who found no room at the inn when she needed it most, would go before me and prepare a home for me that will bless my final months.  One wonderful event from today was that I got my next appointment for my oncologist and apparently it does not involve any preparation work–no scan and blood work after the fact. That must mean that she is pleased with how slowly the cancer is progressing.

I am busting out of this prison-of-my-own-making for a bit. I may not be online much in the next week. Hasta la vista!

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What fears keep you locked inside a prison?

Does being vulnerable make you tired?

Prayer

Mary, Queen of Heaven, I need a little sanctuary to lay my head in the days ahead. Please go now and prepare a place here on earth for me that will bring all that I need for the remainder of my journey. Amen.

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Narrow Doors

Posted on August 21, 2016 by sstyves

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The owner will shut the door of the House at some point and we will stand outside, knocking, only to hear a voice say, I do not know where you come from. This is not an easy Gospel reading at all today. I am not sure that I believe in a God who ignores our cries, even in last-minute desperation. The scare tactics of religion are still prevalent today. What are our images of God, of salvation, of Heaven and hell, and of sin? These are important questions for believers to sort through because they will help you at times of desolation. I encourage you to read about this Ignatian concept at the link if you are unaware of the term.

For me, God is in all things. We just need the eyes to see the Divine and recognize it.  The narrow door that we are to strive to enter is a reminder to not turn too late because all of us are dying and we may not have the time to come before God in this life if we leave it too late. If we find ourselves knocking at the Gate without having acknowledged God here on earth, I still think God is not a scary dinosaur who is not going to let us in. I suppose we will find out eventually if our believe system is right or wrong. I stayed overnight with a friend who has a saying on her mantle which is in effect that whether we recognize God or not, God is there.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with someone who is dying and that person said to me that there was some fear about not getting into heaven.  Like me, this person, is confident that Heaven exists for all people. The devil whispers doubts to her though, reminding her that she is a sinner and God may not forgive her. Ah, that nasty fallen one plays on our weaknesses. I sometimes catch myself thinking my arrogance about being sure that I am going to heaven may catch up to me, but I base that solely on the fact that I believe in a merciful, loving God, not on my own merit of deserving to get in that narrow door. Isn’t understanding God in this way what the Year of Mercy is about?

As the Psalmist sings today Great is the steadfast love toward us and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. We must do our part–I acknowledge that but God is steadfast and faithful and seeks out the lost sheep every time. I believe that narrow gate is wide enough and that closed door will be opened when it is my time to knock. I hope you agree when it is your time to rap on the door too.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

In your belief system, who gets into Heaven?

What is your image of God as Judge?

Prayer

Ruler of the Universe, you judge us worthy even when we condemn ourselves and others. Give us peace in our souls so that we fear not the Day of Judgment. Instead let us find courage and joy in coming Home to spend eternity with you. Help us to seek you now and not to wait until the last moment to praise you for the daily blessings you bestow upon us. Amen.

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Tying Heavy Burdens

Posted on August 20, 2016 by sstyves

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The Gospel from Matthew today is a hard read because we may recognize ourselves in it. We may see that like the scribes and Pharisees we tie up heavy burdens for others to carry, but are unwilling to life a finger to help. We judge others harshly, make them the feel the brunt of their struggle and then offer no suggestions or advice to implement change. We take the seats of honour without considering the others in the room with lesser places of respect. We use our rank, our privilege, our power, and our knowledge for our own benefit. We forget to serve, rather than be served. We should be humbled instead of exalted.

I have been tying a heavy burden to my own shoulder lately. I have this rather irrational fear of bees, wasps and other stinging insects.  I have been stung a number of times over the years and it hurts but I do not think I am allergic. However, I saw one of those stupid reality shows where a man on a tractor hit a hive and the wasps swarmed him. I will leave out the gory details but I already had an aversion to the creatures so what happened created an immense terror within me.  I still have nightmares about that episode as if it had happened to someone I know. If I am outside I can more or less handle the fear but if I am in an enclosed space, I can freak out a bit. You can imagine then what I might have been experiencing these past few days when wasps showed up in my bathroom. My landlord and I went on an hunting expedition and a rather large wasp nest was found in the crawl space on my third floor. Well,  I should clarify…I assume it was large. I did not actually see it as you might surmise. I stayed a good bit away as they opened the door to my horror and then closed it, saying there was a nest in there. They did not need a flashlight to find it so clearly it was easily visible. I would rather not know how big it was.

I have not slept very well, knowing these critters were my roommates.  This made matters worse as I do not function so well lately when I am sleep-deprived. I learned a lot about these insects by trial and error. Did you know that if you swat at them, they release a pheromone that alerts their clan to come and help them? Yeah….come on down. When I came back into my apartment after pest control took away the hive, several angry ones dive bombed me. I had to leave for awhile. I had another sleepless night before deciding that I need to sleep somewhere else tonight. I think most of the remaining ones are dead now. I called on a good friend who came over today and walked around.  She works with stinging winged creatures so she knows them well. She picked up most of the dead carcasses. She also left me a bee jacket and a trap which at this point is empty. That is a good sign I figure.

My friend did not judge my irrational fear. She empowered me to go upstairs with her, get what I needed and later return to do a couple of loads of laundry. She knows people have fears of bees, wasps and hornets, and was calm as a cucumber as she went around killing the dying ones, putting them out of their misery. She looked around and made a couple of suggestions. I am grateful that she cleared her schedule and came right away. She has a place of honour in my heart for not judging me.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What irrational fears keep you awake at night?

Who has a place of honour in your heart?

Prayer

Untie the burdens I place on myself and others, God. Let them slip to the floor easily. Send me who I need to stand in the hard places of fear and doubt until by your grace I am transformed. Amen.

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