Balance Burden

Posted on July 14, 2016 by sstyves

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Matthew 11:28 has come to me over the decades when needed so I pay attention when I read the words Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying burdens, and I will give you rest.  This gracious invitation by Christ slows me down and makes me want to sit quietly for awhile with my head on his shoulder. Just breathe. Stop. Completely. Rest. Let go. Nuzzle into my Friend and be. I need that deep rest that only Jesus can provide. In contemplation, I can feel his arm slip around me and draw me close.  The burdens lift and I am calmly content there.  I have everything I need right there.

When I awoke this morning, I was without electricity. A storm overnight had knocked out power in the early morning. It would be another hour before the electricity would be restored. I tried to snuggle back into sleep but to no avail. I could not find rest. I checked email and there was another friend who was checking in as to what side of the boundary line she was on. I was surprised once again that she had to ask.  For the most part those who are responding with understanding do not need to worry. They are my core people who will have access until the end. My mind wandered through thoughts, trying to grasp exactly how someone will know on which side of the line I am drawing that they are.

I realize this is becoming a heavy burden for me. What helped this morning though as I tossed and turned in bed, still hoping to find a few more minutes of sleep, was acknowledging that after my former pastor passed away, everyone believed that he was their close friend.  At one point, in discussing this with someone else who had lost a popular person in her life, she confessed the same bewilderment as I did–maybe our relationship with the person was not as unique as we had once thought. Yet, this did not ring true for either of us. I knew this person to be well-loved by her friend and I knew from comments that had been made to me that I was close to my pastor.  In an email once, he wrote to me, You know my heart.  That is not a blanket statement he would have made. People simply loved him and wanted to be his friend. He would have made them feel loved.

What does that mean to readers who are my friends but do not really know where they stand? I have no easy answer for you. It is not the length of time that we have known each other or how often we see each other. I have people in my life that I am still getting to know that have access to me more than long time acquaintances.  Some friends I see once a year and they mean the world to me. Part of my decision-making process is about how tired I am after I am with someone. Have they taken my energy or given me a boost? This does not mean that I do not sometimes leave good interactions tired–that is unfortunately the nature of this illness. I am referring to what people do to my spirit. A conversation which is stimulating, thought-provoking, non-judgmental, and punctuated with some laughter, rejuvenates me. I want to have more interactions like that. A one-sided monologue about the other person’s issues can drag me down but not always. I still want to hear what is going on for other people and share the good, bad and ugly.

What it is then that puts one person on the inside of the line and another on the outside? The other day I got together with a friend of 30 years and had a delightful couple of hours together. We went to Adoration together and sat nearby each other but not together. We gave each other space yet I would say that we were also yoked together on some level, making one other’s burdens lighter. I suspect we instinctively knew that at some point we had prayed for the other person’s needs. Afterwards, we went for a quick sharing time and then went on our way.  In our friendship of three decades we have not always maintained contact. In fact, it is only recently that we have reconnected, so why do I feel yoked to her? I think the answer for me is that the relationship seems to be mutual. The giving and taking can shift but a neediness is not present.

I have been trying to see another friend for months now. We cannot seem to find a date that works. It is complicated because of our comings and goings but she is another person who I feel at home with when I am face to face with her. She is heading off for a bit and I am soon gone again too so I feel a little sad that we won’t be seeing each other until much later. Yet, I sense I am yoked to her too. She was one of the people who visited me in the hospital. She had access. Here too, I know the relationship is mutual.

How do you know if the relationship is mutual? For me, it seems like a common sense assessment but I am beginning to realize that is not the case. The curse of having nurtured so many friendships is that I have little time to see everyone if I am to take care of my needs. It is a blessing to be in this situation but because of who I am, I feel burdened. I write this with some trepidation as I may sound egotistical and may be misunderstood. I also know that I risk people not reaching out now because they do not wish to add to my stress. This creates anxiety because, as I said, it is often the very people  want to see, that completely comprehend and offer to step back. A number of acquaintances are on my to-see list when I can stick around the city long enough for a visit because I enjoy my time with them. On the other hand, I also still, in my rescuer moments, want to make people happy and avoid hurting anyone.  The best solution I have come up with and have utilized recently is to tell people–you have full access to me–as much as  you want and we can coordinate. The opposite is harder–I cannot spend time with you right now. I might suggest that if you are unsure of where you stand, to simply ask and receive the answer, whatever it is, with grace.

The trouble, of course, is that I have no idea how much time I do have. If the doctors are correct in their prediction, I am halfway through the survival rate I have been given. As I have said, I plan on outliving that expectation, in which case I may eventually have some time for the wider circles in my life, for people I still care about but yet find it hard to balance when I need to put myself first. My energies need to focus on practicalities and final life projects–some of which are solo ventures. This means I will need time alone to work on certain tasks but it also means honouring myself, and learning to come to Jesus when I am weary and let the rest go. I know that most of you will understand that and I am grateful for this. I encourage those of you in my outer circles to stay in touch with me in other ways. I read all my messages and snail mail even if I do not have time or energy to respond. I am grateful for your presence and prayers, even if it has to be at a distance. I carry each of you in my heart.

Public events are a great way for everyone to share a few moments with me. I love short, meaningful conversations as I always have. For those who are on the cusp, who bring me joy and comfort, I hope to see you all as much as I can too. Those who are getting to know me better and who I take new delight in, the door is not closed for you.  For my inner circles reading this, I hope you know who you are and that you are deeply loved and appreciated. I look forward to spending quality time with you in the months ahead.  I thank everyone for trying to understand this burden that I continue to carry. Some day I will have clarity, but until then please forgive me and have patience.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How do you know if you are in someone’s inner circle of loved ones?

What burden do you need to bring to Jesus?

Prayer

Dear Jesus, I want to sit quietly with you more and more. I need to find this time to yoke myself to you and simply rest. This journey can be arduous on many levels. Help me make the time to be with you so that I have the energy I need. Amen.

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Five Thoughts

Posted on July 12, 2016 by sstyves

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Kara Tippetts has a chapter in her book And It Was Beautiful entitled Five Thoughts on Dying Well. Her thoughtfulness in writing it is admirable. First off, she says to live with deep forgiveness, followed by living intentionally. She mentions that her past leaning on God served her well during her illness. She invited the reader not to squander a moment of life and finally, to reach out. These are all good observations.

I have been working on the first one. I started somewhat simply with a person who had disappointed me but with whom I did not have too deep a relationship with. Her response was beautiful and it turned out that we had misunderstood one another. She has once again slipped off the radar but because the relationship is not significant, I am ok with how we reconciled and may not continue to be in touch. The next one was more challenging. We had had a close relationship at one point but I had hurt the person and so I reached out and asked for forgiveness. I have never heard back. The third person was part of a penance that a priest gave to me. I did ask for forgiveness and never heard back either. I have long ago learned that the outcome is to be released. We cannot manipulate it or bring it to fruition. All we can do is our part of either receiving or extending forgiveness. The rest belongs to God. If we can get to that freedom, we will die well.

Living intentionally even now can be a challenge. I know that I have been mindful most of my adult life but still, I can be distracted by stuff such as getting lost for hours in social media. I would rather spend time with loved ones. Today, I was puzzled by my mother who has said to several people that she hardly sees me. I have been over almost every other day and called on days I have not come.  I have purposely tried to see them more often but apparently that has not been recognized.  I am choosing how to spend my time as wisely as I can but there is not enough time to go around. I know that is hurtful to some people. Today, for example, I stopped in to see a woman who is in hospice herself as she has been praying faithfully for me for over a year. This seemed like an important decision. However it meant that I could not see someone else who is recovering from cancer surgery. I hold lightly to my desires and try to be gentle when my intent does not match my energy. I had a lovely email from someone else who noticed that life seemed a little chaotic right now for me and released me from any angst that I may have been feeling about not getting together with her. That was extremely generous and merciful of her.

Tippetts’ point about leaning on God in these times because you have built a strong foundation and habit of doing so is spot on. Today, I joined a friend for Adoration. I had not been for awhile and she had invited me to do. I texted her on a whim–I felt a need with many concerns weighing on my heart this day to spend time with Jesus. This was a wise decision, despite the many tasks calling for my attention. The Trinity has been my strength and my joy. That is what I came to once again, kneeling in front of the monstrance: The rays from the Son dispel the clouds. I was grateful to share this quiet time with my friend. We have made a pact to do it again. I can carry on this week, knowing I have had my time with Jesus who gives me Light for my path.

I am trying not to squander many of my moments. I do manage to sometimes. I have started to play computer games rather than doing something meaningful. I need just to chill out and that is one way but I want to choose different ways. I would rather read or work on a project than do that. I am grateful for so many deep conversations with people, for laughter, and for opportunities to celebrate what loved ones are doing. I keep living as fully as I can. I am going to drink deeply and fall into bed each night, happily exhausted at the goodness that has unfolded during the day.

Reaching out today to my friend was just what I needed. We have meaningful conversations and her insights are helpful to me. I love too that she shares from her life and the relationship is meaningful.  I feel privileged to have spent time with my friend in the hospice and hope to visit my other friend soon. I am planning to do a bit of a mission experience when on holidays at the end of August.  My heart still has a great desire to serve the least of these and I became aware of a project that could fit into a holiday that I am going on. I have experienced so much love that I still want to pay it forward.

Tippetts’ check list serves me well. I can definitely say I have been working on all of these for decades and that is very good for my soul. Now, I must sleep so that I can maintain my energy for tomorrow. Caring for oneself is important on this journey.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How do you rate on the Five Thoughts that Tippetts shares?

Which area is your strongest suit and which one is a challenge?

Prayer

Living well leads to dying well

They are connected in inextricable ways

If life is not lived well

Death will be a struggle.

God, keep me living well and

Grant me a peaceful death.

Amen.

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Hard Reflections

Posted on July 11, 2016 by sstyves

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In the tranquility of nature, I let God massage  my soul. The birds’ songs still any anxiety and iron my worries flat, smooth as the glassy water reflecting back all that is. The reflection is as revealing as the real. My friend even spotted the moon in the clouds in the water before we could actually spot it in the sky.

I have always loved the outdoors. As a child, my siblings and I spent hours playing in the front or back yard, climbing trees in the summer or skating in the homemade ice rink in the winter. The neighbourhood kids could be found somewhere on our block, childhood games occupying us for hours until a mother’s voice would shout out that it was supper time. We would ignore it for the first few times but we know if a mother started calling any of us by our names, there would be trouble if we did not respond immediately.

Out here in lake country, where I spent my weekend, I can breathe deeply. I have slowed enough to finish Kara Tippets’ touching memoir, And it was Beautiful. I quietly wept several times, sitting alone in the sun, in the midst of creation. The pages, like the water, reflected back my own experience of cancer, my similar fears, and my own recognition of the Love that surrounds and upholds me.

Kara wrote that the love of God will give us protection, even in the hardest of hard. It is in our very skin. I remembered during my 2014 pilgrimage , seeing a carving of St Catherine Labouré kneeling before the Virgin Mary with the inscription, The protection of God is always there. I have come back to those words dozens of times over these past two years and now Kara has provided me with a new insight–protection is promised because of God’s abiding Love. God never leaves us in the hardest of hard. As Kara found solace knowing that this love and protection was extended to her loved ones, so do I.

I sat there in such Beauty and let the words wash over me. God will grant us protection through the darkest of dark, the hardest of hard, and the saddest of sad. God who, clothed as a human, came to earth, knows full well our struggles and sorrows. I know that God knows my heart and that of those who walk with me. Whatever happens, each of us will find our way to solid ground, under the protection and Love of the Creator.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What is reflected back to you when you slow down long enough to breathe deeply?

Do you have glimpses of God’s constant protection in your life?

Prayer

Here, in this holy place, it is easy to see

You, reflected everywhere

To see the Truth shimmering before us

Waiting to be embraced.

In the mountains and the valleys

You are there

Give me faith to believe that

in the hardest of hard,

You are indeed there.

Amen.

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Merciful Neighbours

Posted on July 11, 2016 by sstyves

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Who is my neighbour? the lawyer asks Jesus in today’s Gospel of the Good Samaritan. This story is revealing about which neighbours we think are good. Jesus answers the lawyer in the end with a question, making him provide his own answer: The one who shows mercy.  Christ commands him, Go and do likewise. 

We face a similar question today. #BlackLivesMatter is in the news often.  Sadly, murdered and missing indigenous women here in Canada rarely make the headlines nor do their stories go viral. These lives of our sisters – – our neighbours – – are equally  as important. Aboriginal people have known for many decades that we are all connected – we are all neighbors. We are all guests here on this globe. As I sit in creation this weekend, I wonder how things got to be so wrong.

Last night, a houseboat pulled up into the bay next to us and the tranquillity turned to turmoil. Our new neighbours were noisy and inconsiderate – somehow, they believe that all this beauty was theirs to enjoy, unaware of how they impacted those of us who had arrived first.  Were they the type of people who had left the broken beer cans and bottles on our beach shore that I had come across earlier in the day? Living carelessly in the moment without thoughts of the future is not very wise or zen-like.

In this Year of Mercy we have much to learn about this quality. This past week was a hard one for our neighbours to the south. Two black lives or snuffed out and, in retaliation, five police officers  were killed during a peaceful protest by snipers. Where is mercy?  How are we loving our neighbours?

The video of at least one of the black men who died was plastered all over the Internet. I must confess that I watched it. I was fortunate enough to watch the blurred out version of the death. Who really needed to see the other uncensored footage  while it was being live streamed? We are well aware that this was a tragedy,  a fear-invoked death, and yes, a racist act. Isn’t that enough for us? Would any of us want to watch the  dying moments of a missing and murdered aboriginal young woman? I hope not. These video tapes incite more violence rather than instill mercy.  What is wrong with our world that we watch such videotapes?

I do not know that we need to record these incidents except that it does provide proof in a world where we have stopped recognizing our neighbors, where some refuse to believe it is possible that such acts still occur, and where we have little desire to understand one another.  The time to go and do likewise is now. We need to extend mercy and love to everyone, including the officers who are sometimes labelled our enemies. We do not know how many lives are destroyed because of this violence,  but I can assure you, it is more widespread than we think. I for one hope that we can go and show mercy. Will you join me?

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What neighbour is your enemy? Can you show that person mercy?

How does social media impact how we view the world?

Prayer

Creator, show me my neighbor. Give me a heart of compassion and love. May I not be to the influenced by outside forces that turn my feelings to stone.  Help me to go to whoever needs me and serve them.  May I respond joyfully to your command to go and do likewise. Amen.

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Surprise Visitor

Posted on July 10, 2016 by sstyves

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The sound of eagle wings

so close you can almost

feel the fan of air kiss your cheek

A whoosh ripples through the bay

Startling, eye-opening delight

Sudden, unexpected visit from on high

I wonder if that is what

an angel’s wings sound like

a swoosh filling a room

slightly terrifying, jaw-dropping awe

A stunning glimpse of Glory

No wonder angels greet with Be not afraid!

Suzanne St. Yves

July 9, 2016

 

 

 

 

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Drinking Deeply

Posted on July 7, 2016 by sstyves

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Despite the fact that I am diagnosed with terminal cancer, I have not stopped living. No, quite the opposite, I suppose. I continue to drink deeply and to embrace life as much as I can. Today was no exception. I crammed a lot into the past 14 waking hours. Whew!

I am still behind on responding to emails, especially those that require thoughtful attention but I do read everything of a personal nature that arrives in my mailbox, usually soon after awaking. I try to follow that with my daily prayer time. I am not always successful at this and find that sometimes shower and prayer go together well. Thich Naht Hanh taught me this trick of praying during routine events. I scrub my face and ask that it may shine brightly for God to all I will meet during the day. As the water pours over me, I pray that my iniquities be washed away. At the end of my shower, I ask that God’s healing power will flow through me.

Soon after breakfast, I usually begin to scurry. Today I was off to the office to attempt to finish packing everything up. I did not quite make that goal but I am very close. A few more hours and I can walk away.  Healing definitely has happened because I am now anxious for that to occur. That chapter of my life is complete. I need to concentrate on some projects that I want to develop in the next few months.

I had popped home over the lunch hour today to have a video call with my Rwandan goddaughter and her family in Nairobi. Sadly, she had a high fever and was fast asleep on the chesterfield and thus I did not even see her. Her two siblings came by to say hello as I chatted with her parents, before heading back to the office.  After work, I stopped at the nearby farmer’s market and bought some fresh strawberries. I came home and did something I love to do–I baked.  The smell of the fruit crumble filled the apartment.

I took some of my baking to my parents when I went to see how Dad’s ultrasound went today. I knew the results were pending but it was reassuring that he and my sister managed the appointment without any glitches. The conversation was much lighter than yesterday’s more painful one. The interesting dynamic about drinking deeply from life is that you cannot choose just the tasty treats–the sorrowful cup must also be lifted. The balance keeps me sane, I suppose.

Now I am left with some packing for a little weekend getaway where I will leave the noise of the city and enter forced relaxation mode as my friends call it. I am looking forward to spending time with them away from distractions.  I also love being in nature and breathing more slowly. Being near water is tranquil for me and so I am quite excited about this trip in particular. I will pack some books and a journal. The weather will hopefully cooperate and we can get some swimming in. Evenings will be good conversation, fabulous meals, and maybe the odd game or two. This is all part of drinking deeply and leisurely. I will unplug for several days so I will probably not be posting. That could be a good thing too. This way I can be fully present to the moment and my friends.

I am beginning to think again about how to fit everyone into my life right now who wants to be part of this journey. I have had two faraway friends ask to be on palliative care duty when the time arrives. I am humbled and touched by these generous offers and know that what is coming will teach us all some lessons in drinking deeply from the sweetness of life and the sorrows of death. May God keep my heart open to what gifts I still must receive and offer while living well. In the meantime,  I raise up a cup of glorious nectar that is created in love by so many around me.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How deeply do you drink from life?

Is the cup holding sweetness or bitterness for you?

Prayer

I raise a glass to you, Creator, of Life, given freely and received gratefully. I drink deeply from this chalice, understanding the bittersweetness that pours out from it.  May I slurp every single drop from it with gusto and know that you smile as I do. Amen.

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Squirelly

Posted on July 5, 2016 by sstyves

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This journey is a wee bit tumultuous some days. Last night I read a little bit from Kara Tippet’s book,  And It Was Beautiful: Celebrating Life in the Midst of the Long Good-Bye.
A fabulous friend gave me this book and I am grateful for Kara’s honest reflections while she was undergoing treatment. I can relate to much of her struggles and share her joy. I think she had it right–celebrating life is the only thing I know how to do in the midst of this long goodbye.

She talked about her ugly self at one point–that person whose harsh voice spews out loveless words in unkind tones. I cannot say that it happens often to me yet but my ugly self does exist. I was saying to friends over the weekend I have less patience for stupid behaviour. I find myself wanting to draw attention to the contradictory statements people make. It is definitely not a lovely side of me.

Yesterday was a hard day. I had gone over to my parents and my ugly side did not come out. My compassionate side did. I left aching though. I am acutely aware of how much stress my illness adds to my parents as individuals and as a couple. Add to this, their own health concerns and it is not a pretty picture. If you throw into the mix my inability to be present to them in their old age, the feelings can get dark. I wanted to have a bit of a crying jag as I drove away.

Today I am a bit better, though my family doctor wondered if I needed to touch base with my social worker sooner than later. Really, the feelings were pretty raw still this morning. I feel helpless in watching their pain and I have to say simply that it sucks. I hate the fact that I will not be able to help them transition through ill health and to their own deaths. They have given much to me over the decades and when it is their time to receive, I will probably not be here. That makes me a bit squirrelly.

After my doctor’s appointment, I released my angst. The health concerns are not yet confirmed. The questions of where to live are yet to be explored. Whether I will die first is yet to be seen. I am best if I stay in the moment and at this moment, we know nothing. My parents’ anticipatory grief is best handled by professionals so I will guide them in that direction. What is key to this present moment is making it as beautiful as I can as often as I can. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with the number of people who wish to spend time with me right now. It is not that I do not want to see people but I am getting more clarity about who I want to spend time with.

I am also very aware that I must work on finishing up a few tasks, such as packing up my office. I am behind on emails. I would still like to thank some people properly for the gifts received at the party. Travel plans are taking shape again and yet I need to find a different place to live and time to pack.  In the middle of all these competing pieces, I had a clear vision that I needed to go down to a funeral in the USA for the sister of a dear friend because that is what my heart said I must do. That insight reminds me of celebrating life during this long goodbye. Some of the events that present themselves are easily discerned.

I hope to know best how to celebrate life while journeying towards death. I hope we all figure out this mystery. I need to do the practical tasks but want to also spend some time on the frivolous art of making awesome memories with the people who count in my life.  I still want to take risks and live vulnerably. There are no guarantees for any of us except one–none of us make it out alive. I want to look back on my life–I want you to look back on my life too–and like Kara, know it was beautiful. That is also my deepest desire for you as you look back on your life.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What about your life is especially beautiful right now?

Is anything making you squirelly right now? Can you live in the moment despite this?

Prayer

God, you created the world and said it was good. You created my life and I say it is more than good. It is a beautiful blessing and I thank you. Amen.

Posted in #Consolation, #Miracles, #prayer, #Saints, #Travel, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Welcoming People

Posted on July 3, 2016 by sstyves

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Today’s Gospel from Luke 10 Jesus explains to the disciples that the harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few. He goes on to say that if the townspeople welcome them, then they should remain there, eat what is set before them, cure the sick and let them know that the Kingdom of God has come near to them.   I do love this reading, despite its harsh treatment of those who do not welcome people.

Since my birthday bash I have spoken with a number of people and the overwhelming sentiment that strikes me is how welcoming everyone was to one another. Yesterday, I heard again about the loveliness of my friends to one another. From the greeters at the door, to the folks running the video and photo booths, to those serving the refreshment,  to the magnificent MC, everyone had a smile and radiated joy. My heart bursts with this joyful knowledge. I watched people interact for a few minutes and thought to myself This is soooo good! I love how they love each other. I know a couple of new friendships were formed on the committees and at the party itself. People were able to meet my family. Doctors on my team were even able to say hello to one another. Colleagues were introduced to my church friends. Relatives who had not seen each other in years sat at the same table and caught up.

I have not heard any complaints about the food–everyone ate what was set before them. In fact, so much food was brought that committee members were able to take some home. Hundreds of cupcakes were divided up to enjoy the next day. I know people are worried about me. The illness is terrifying for some folks.  Somehow that night, the cancer was not cured but it did not overshadow the evening much. We all knew why we were gathered but still we were there to celebrate and not mourn.  Maybe the sick were not cured that night but I know that many were healed on a different level, myself included. I was certainly continued to be loved into life even more than I have been. The Kingdom of God was definitely very near to all of us that night, found in the laughter, tears and kindnesses shared. We stood on very holy ground that night.

I am grateful still for all who came out. I cannot find the words to express my thanks to the organizers and elves of the evening.  When I continue to hear how people welcomed one another on my behalf, I know indeed that the Kingdom was near and God was present. How blessed am I to be loved so deeply by so many.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

When did you welcome someone and let them know that the Kingdom of God is near?

Who has loved you into life?

Prayer

May my heart always find time to welcome others so that I may show them the Kingdom of God is near. Amen.

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New Wineskins

Posted on July 2, 2016 by sstyves

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New wineskins are necessary in today’s gospel. You cannot store the new wine in old wineskins. Some days I think I am living in a new skin. The old one is being shed on this journey. I am finding that I am me at my core but every once in a while, I get a glimpse at someone new, a woman transformed by grace and mercy. I am swimming in new waters, drinking this wine that I am no longer allowed, and wondering who is this new creation.

I had a wonderful afternoon and evening with friends who came for lemonade and then some of them stayed for an impromptu supper. The talk meandered over several topics but it turned to my recent trip to Toronto where I mentioned I had had some beautiful and meaningful conversations with my friends there. I am so grateful for these learning moments and honest encounters. I am always happy too when my disease does not take up the entire focus of gatherings which was the case today. I reluctantly wear these new wineskins at times but today was a day shared with good people who affirmed the new look.

Having terminal cancer can create anxiety in people around me. I loved the freedom of just hanging out with folks today, serving them, being served, and relishing moments of restfulness. We sat outside, listened to the birds chirp, laughed, ate, and shared from each of our lives. I may have missed it but even with the harder parts of conversation, I did not sense anxiety.

I raise a glass poured from this new wineskin to those who embrace me in my transformation. May I continue to grow and be aware of who I am becoming.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What old wineskins need to be shed in your life?

How do new wineskins stretch you?

Prayer

Oh, Lord, sometimes who we are no longer fits who we have become. We try to pour ourselves into old wineskins only to discover that the fabric will not hold. We are stretching to new limits and taking new shape. We must enter a new vessel, and allow you to fill that with the me-in-the-making. May we not cling to the old, but embrace the new. Give us courage and patience in the transformation. Amen.

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Favourite Country

Posted on July 1, 2016 by sstyves

maple leaf

Canada is my home, my favourite country in all the world. I have traveled from sea to shining sea, from Tofino to St. John’s, dipping my foot in both oceans. I have spent time in the North and caught a glimpse of the northern lights flickering while stretched out in my parka and sorrels on a hide in -45 degree weather. This country is amazing.

God created it and said it was good. God scattered people who spell differently than Americans, eat poutine, and sit on chesterfields throughout the vastness I am proud to call home. The Creator placed here long before the Europeans, the Aboriginal people who knew how to live here. The Almighty gave us saints like Marguerite d’Youville, Marguerite Bourgeoys, Jean Brebeuf, and Kateri Tekakwitha to work among the poorest of the poor.

I have globetrotted and witnessed how stunningly gorgeous this world is but I have always come home. O Canada, you have my heart now and always.  I am blessed to have been born here and am grateful to God for allowing me to live here in peace while so many in our world do not have that luxury.

Pray for our leaders–that God may grant them wisdom and courage to do the right thing at the right time. O Canada, I stand on guard for you, the true North, strong and free.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Where is your earthly home and what does it mean to you?

What saints does your country have and what role did they have in creating your country?

Prayer

Creator, you made this world and saw that it was good. Thank you for making my country Canada with such beauty and freedom. I pray for its leaders that they may govern wisely the resources and people. I pray for all newcomers who were welcomed today–as many of our saints welcomed the poor and immigrants. May Canada be a light unto the nations. Amen.

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