Divine Shine

Posted on May 13, 2016 by sstyves

IMG_7301[1]

The quote at the end of today’s mass readings was from CS Lewis: I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun; not because I can see it, but by it I can see everything else.   I have been watching snippets of the video taken at my birthday party and my heart is brimming again with the Love that went into that glorious event. I think when we stand in the presence of Love, we are permeated at a depth that words cannot describe. I treasure the generosity of time, talent, and collaboration that went into pulling together the celebration.

With the lens of Love, the entire event shines brightly. Everyone wanted to ensure a special evening for me and I wanted to give my circles a reason to rejoice. We cannot see the Son or the sun, but we can see Love Incarnate. A friend of mine from high school that now lives in the USA sent me a note after seeing some of the photos and reading the comments on Facebook, saying You must be knocked off your feet with all of God’s Incarnate love from the weekend. I had been thinking about that image of Incarnate Love, a term a former Jesuit pastor introduced me to. My friend had essentially understood without seeing what had taken place what had indeed transpired.  He went on to say “bowled over” also came to mind – I sometimes wonder if we are not sufficiently “in shape” for that amount of love, which still only glimpses God’s positive regard for us. I wonder if you felt it seriously overwhelming at times. Imagine experiencing that day-in and day-out? Are we really ready for heaven?

Greg has always been an astute friend; I must admit that for over a year now I have felt that Love day in and day out.  At times, I have felt tremendously overwhelmed and unworthy of the human love that I am given. I know that I am reaping what I have sown but still I feel so very blessed. However, my friend is correct that it still is only a glimpse of what the Trinity desires for me. I know that God has been beyond magnificent in mercy, love and grace. All this though is a mere sliver of what is yet to unfold, of what awaits me in Heaven. Am I ready for that? That is a good question. If I cannot graciously accept the loving kindnesses of my human friends, how will I react with the lavishness of my Creator who cannot be outdone in generosity?

This Incarnate Love points me to God in all things, in everything I can see that is ablaze with the Father’s fingerprints. Perhaps my distraction with glittery objects is because I recognize in them just a wee bit of the Divine Shine. I see God everywhere; I know the Love that is made Incarnate through those I meet who bless me with generous acts of kindness. I said at the party that I have learned to be kind because I am paying forward every act of generosity that has been done to me. This Love illuminates the world. I invite you to see the Son shining in places you would least expect and to open your heart to that Love that longs to embrace you.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What illuminates your world and allows you to see everything clearly?

Are you “in shape” for the Love that God pours out so lavishly?

Prayer

Creator God, the world is ablaze with your dazzle, illuminating every aspect of our lives, whispering your Love song for us. May we take note of it and bask in the Divine Shine until we reflect it back into our lives. Amen.

Posted in #Consolation, #Miracles, #prayer, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Freedom 55 Festivities

Posted on May 9, 2016 by sstyves

image

Whew! Wasn’t that a party? In facing the reality of my illness, many folks asked what they could do. I took a risk that could have backfired. I asked them to throw me a Freedom 55 Bash, knowing full well that I would have been told two weeks before how fast the cancer was spreading. If you read this blog, then you know that I had relatively fabulous news which was a blessing. The celebration was then for the most part, a reason to rejoice.

My family and friends rose to the occasion and threw a spectacular soiree. Prince and I now hold the record for purple parties. The decorators truly outdid themselves in that regard and the guest created a sea of purple that brought delight. I took a great deal of flack for wearing white primarily, with purple accents. I simply wanted to ensure that people could find me amongst the various waves of purple.

I will write more in the days ahead about the event but tonight I must head to bed. The last out-of-town guest left this afternoon. I was able to take a short nap before cleaning up and sorting through the many gifts that I was not supposed to receive but did–thoughtful gestures that made me smile.  I tallied up the funds that I received for the two causes that were chosen to be recipients of people’s generosity. One friend donated to the fires burning in Fort McMurray on my behalf and that was appreciated. My heart is very full of gratitude as I write this.

I am always a bit of a deer-in-headlights at these gatherings. The introvert in me does not like to be the centre of attention and often I think that I am less than gracious under pressure. I guess there is a certain freedom that comes with age, and I am still learning a few lessons in this regard. However, I wanted this party for several reasons. I knew such an event would keep my friends who felt somewhat helpless regarding my diagnosis busy and engaged with me on some level, even if I was not directly involved. The party would allow people to create something joyful and positive in the midst of a painful, sad time for all of us. Folks from right across the spectrum of my life could get to know each other a bit better. Have I mentioned that I have some of the very best friends ever?  It has brought me much joy to know that several people really clicked with one another. Those embraced by my long arms, as mentioned at the party, could huddle together like chicks under a hen’s wings and bask in the warmth of that.

Mostly I wanted to share with people the impact each of us can have in our glorious world. We are each given one wild and precious life as Mary Oliver says, and must decide how to spend it. Years ago, a dear friend of mine gave me a quote in a frame that said Write your life so that others may be illuminated. I believe that each of us can illuminate our wee spot in the world. We do so in our own way, with an all-star cast supporting or leading us. I am no more special than anyone else. I would not be who I am if it were not for others in my life who have modeled goodness, who have called forth my gifts, who have believed in me, and who have loved me. The party room was filled with hundreds of people because each person has an amazing story that intersects with mine. Yes, I know people like to think the party was about me, but I know the truth–it was about us. We are magnificent.

I am going to bed tired but with a heart that is full and overflowing with Love from many grace-filled spirits. To God be the glory today and always.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How have you transformed sadness to gladness?

Whose story intersects with yours in a way that has created a better you?

Prayer

Glorious God

Gracious We

Grateful Me

Gobsmacked together

Amen.

 

Posted in #Consolation, #prayer, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Trust Me

Posted on May 7, 2016 by sstyves

 

image

A year ago I was in a hospital bed, recovering from a liver resection.  The doctors were not sure that I would survive the surgery and even if I did they were uncertain whether the surgery would be successful. One year later I am still here to celebrate life–and I am ever grateful for each extra moment.  Tonight my friends are throwing me an amazing birthday party that will be so much fun.  I am looking forward to it.

A year ago last summer I was visiting a friend on the West Coast. I had just started my chemo and was feeling relatively well.  She gave me a book entitled, Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young.   Today ‘s message  is this:

If you learn to trust Me– really trust Me —  with your whole being, then nothing can separate you from My Peace. Everything you endure can be put to good use by allowing it to train you in trusting Me… Do not fear what this day, or any day, may bring your way. Concentrate on trusting Me and on doing what needs to be done. Relax in My sovereignty, remembering that I go before you, as well as with you, into each day. Fear no evil,  for I can bring good out of every situation you will ever encounter.

The meditation, longer than this, touched me deeply. It was a wonderful way to wake up and be reminded that God is with me this day and every single day. I have nothing to fear. Here is to life. To God be the glory!

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Do you believe that God is with you in every situation you will ever encounter?

How much do you trust God when things do not go as you planned?

Prayer

Creator God, I thank you for the gift of my life, the continued joys of all that come my way, and the peace that you plant in my heart. I am ever grateful that You are with me through it all! Amen.

 

Posted in #CancerSurvivor, #Consolation, #Miracles, #prayer, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

All Its Glory

Posted on May 5, 2016 by sstyves

 

IMG_1129[1]

Spring has flourished this week. The natural world has awoken and is stretching out its limbs in all its glory. Walking anywhere is an absolute treat as colours are splashed all over the place, crying out for our attention.

As I walked through my neighbour the other day, I wondered if humans were a little like nature. Some of us are quick to bloom and to grow–to take the risk of opening up early, knowing that has consequences. Others of us unfurl our true beauty later, waiting for our moment be in the spotlight. Sometimes, we wait to be seen, quietly like a crocus popping up in the wildest places. Other times, we set the world ablaze with our joy.

I love this time of year. The fragrant smells, the luscious splashes of colour, the heat on my skin, and the chirping birds all beg my soul to stop and rejoice to be alive. This is Glory in fine garments; God has decorated the earth extravagantly. Praise be to the Creator!

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What catches your senses most about spring?

What would you compare yourself to in the natural world?

Prayer

Like an artist, the Creator experiments with colour and sound, adding a little of this, and more of that until a MasterPiece is complete. We stand back and relish the outcome, ever grateful for the exhibition. Amen.

Posted in #Consolation, #Miracles, #prayer, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Truth

Posted on May 4, 2016 by sstyves

IMG_6498.JPG

In the Gospel today Jesus tells his disciples that he is the way, and the truth, and the life.  This day was one of those days…one of those days when you just simply need to believe the Truth about life and Life. Jesus is the way through. There is no other way for me. You can have a different way but my Truth is Christ. On days, like today, I cling to that completely.

It as been six years since my pastor died and I still miss him. I have often wondered what it would be like to have him here during my illness. What words might he have said during my tougher days?  What wisdom would he have suggested?  Death may separate us in the physical sense but it does not put asunder those of us who believe in the spiritual realm.

The past 24 hours has brought another tragedy to a friend of mine. I have been talking with her and some members of her family, holding that sacred space of devastation along with them.  We are all clinging to that Way, the only way we know how. Because we believe in the goodness of life and the greatness of the Life that awaits us.

I know that angels are gathering and lifting up each of the prayers said for those of us who suffer. Heaven is conspiring to bring this sorrow to a holy outcome. Right now, standing in the immense pain, we may miss that. It has taken me six long years to mourn my pastor and understand certain things that did not make sense or grieved my heart.

Lift those prayers even if they feel hollow right now. God is paying attention and rest assured is creating a master plan for Good.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Jesus is the Way through the suffering and sorrow – do you believe this?

Have you experienced a holy outcome?

Prayer

Jesus, you are the Way, Truth and Life. May I know this completely and without doubt. Conspire to transform my anguish into a holy outcome. Amen.

Posted in #BibleStories, #Consolation, #Desolation, #Miracles, #prayer, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Purple Dealer

Posted on May 2, 2016 by sstyves

purple cloth

Women who love purple
and deal in holy cloths
open their hearts to the Lord
listen eagerly, words striking a cord.
Judge me to be faithful, Lord,
Come and stay at my home.
I will prevail until you do.
You see, this woman loves purple too.
(Acts 16: 14-15)
Peace,
Suzanne
Reflection Questions
When have you listened eagerly to the Lord?
How would the Lord judge you to be faithful?
Posted in #BibleStories, #Consolation, #prayer, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Joyful Tears

Posted on April 30, 2016 by sstyves

image

Since returning from Spain I have had some medical tests. Yesterday I met with the oncologist-in-training to discuss the results.  I did not know which way the appointment would go. I have been feeling fairly well since my return, albeit more tired than I was on my trip.   Because my particular kind of cancer is aggressive, I was prepared for the worst and yet still hoping for the best.

I am pleased to report that it was the latter news that was delivered. The doctor started with the report that there were no new tumours found.  She then proceeded to tell me that the present tumours did not have significant growth. Some were even termed stable.  She kept talking for another minute after reviewing this information and I suddenly began to cry. The poor doctor looked at me uncertain as to what to do, offering me Kleenex. I assured her that these were happy tears. I felt relief and joy.  The friend who accompanies me to my appointments has a great sense of humour and this is one of the many reasons I am grateful for her presence.  Those are happy tears? she inquired in a tone that made us all laugh.

During my pilgrimage, I had no sense of what was transpiring but I had felt peace.  Several people have told me that they feel a healing happened while I was away. They are not saying a cure but they do notice a difference. I think so too and for this I am incredibly grateful.   I will take each day that I am given and continue to serve my Beloved. I am glad to know that it appears I will have some days to do so. Thanks be to God!

peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

When was the last time you cried happy tears?

What are you grateful for at this point in your life?

Prayer

Great Physician, you heal at levels deep within us – – not just our bodies but our whole beings.  If we stopped and realized the great glory of your work, tears of joy would flow continuously. Amen.

Posted in #Consolation, #Miracles, #prayer, #Travel, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Rooted in the Land

Posted on April 28, 2016 by sstyves

image

The land always holds a piece of my soul. I am the daughter of a farm boy whose garden in the city infuses life into his old blood. Every fall, he says he will not plant again the next year. Every summer I go and discover he has changed his mind, to no great surprise. Once a farm boy, always a farm boy. The boy can move from the land but the land never releases its hold on the boy.

This evening I attended a concert in which the family that grew up beside my father performed. I got shivers when one of the daughters introduced herself through a long line of ancestors. This, this, is connected to the land and a culture of French people. This sense of knowing who you are and where you come from–this is a part of me too. I am much older than my years. I am part of a long tradition and a piece of the earth. These people know it and so do I.

We are a piece of the roots in the land, a breath of the wind, and a beam of the Light that never dims. This is a gift from our ancestors who tilled the land and called it home. This is that restless voice that whispers to us to live fully. This is the ability to extol beauty when others miss it. The prairie will always be a part of me in ways that cannot be explained.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Does the land hold a piece of your soul?

Do your ancestors whisper to you so you know where you belong?

Prayer

Creator of the land, wide and open,

of the roots, deep and strong

You plant within me a love

of nature and beauty

that cannot be explained

Harvest the joy that comes from this field

Amen.

 

Posted in #Consolation, #prayer, #Travel, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Bearing Fruit

Posted on April 27, 2016 by sstyves

IMG_6589[1]

John has a hard lesson of bearing fruit. As disciples we must bear much fruit or God might remove the branch that does not blossom. Jesus also reminds us to abide in Him because a branch cannot bear fruit unless it abides in the vine. This was the Gospel of the day as the Spiritual Exercises concluded with a final mass after the 30-week retreat.

One of the learnings from my recent pilgrimage to Spain in search of St. Ignatius, was that he was arrested because people’s lives changed so drastically after he taught them the Spiritual Exercises. People’s lives began to bear much beautiful fruit because of the work they did with St. Ignatius. Every retreat, I marvel at how much growth the retreatants make. Some dive deep into healing their lives and the directors feel privileged to witness this sacred work. Others do not bear as much fruit right away. Slow bloomers, perhaps? God is at work and sometimes the director does not get to see the flower. I have to admit that I have not had a lot of slow bloomers in my history. I am always amazed at the beauty that unfolds for the retreatants. Of course, it may continue to sprout for months and years to come and that gorgeous bouquet may not then be mine to behold.

Directing is a sacred service. We come open and leave full. We scatter seeds that may take years to blossom while others take root right away. Our listening is compassionate and focused. The trust that is required is tremendous and Spirit-led. I am often humbled by how much faith the retreatant has in us.

God is glorified in these exchanges and lives are changed–not just the retreatants but people around them, including those of us who accompany them.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Are you bearing fruit or do you need a pruning?

Have you ever planted a seed that has taken a while to bloom?

Prayer

Gardener-God, pruning shears ready, you eye us and see what the harvest is. You are in no hurry to chop off our slow-blooming branches but you do keep the shears sharp. Help me to abide in you and remain fertile. Amen.

 

Posted in #BibleStories, #Consolation, #Miracles, #prayer, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Never Know

Posted on April 26, 2016 by sstyves

IMG_6451

Some people have said to me in my illness that you never know–you could get hit by a bus and die before the cancer takes you. I am never really quite sure how that is supposed to be comforting. Most of them either do not know or have forgotten that I know someone whose sister died after getting hit by a school bus. This makes me listen to the news differently.  Thus this morning when I awoke early again because of the jet lag, I reached for the radio and clicked on the CBC news. That is when I heard about the hit and run accident which killed a cyclist. I immediately prayed for that person, the family, and friends of that person. I did a few things and then managed to fall back asleep.

It was after noon when I opened my work email. Starting at the top, I opened the messages. I read one that said that the EAP team would meet with anyone needing to debrief the incident. What incident? I wondered. My eyes wandered down to the next unopened email with the name of a staff person. As I read it, I was stunned to find out that the cyclist who had been hit and passed away was probably a man who worked at my building. I had this confirmed later in the day. My prayers were for someone I knew, albeit not well.

We never know when we pray what the effect will be. Tonight my thoughts once again turn to this man and those who loved him. May they know the comfort of God. Life is short and you never know when your time is up. Live wisely.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Do you ever pray for something you learn about in the news?

Is your life in order should you get hit by that proverbial bus?

Prayer

Dear God, hear our prayer to keep our loved ones safe. Life is fragile and can hang by a thread some days more than others. May we never take for granted the privilege we are given. Amen.

Posted in #Consolation, #Desolation, #prayer, #YearofMercy, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment