Discernment Dish

Posted on September 16, 2014 by sstyves

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When I was in Assisi this summer, I wondered what God would call me to this fall. Every September a half-dozen offers of good things come my way and I have to make choices because I cannot do everything. A spiritual director once told me that my biggest challenge was choosing between two goods and this was the greatest gift he gave me. Now when I catch myself trying to do it all, I step back and breathe a bit, asking God to do an intervention because I am leaning towards replacing the Messiah when really I am quite indispensable.

This fall has been no different. I’ve been run ragged at work and I have been feeling a bit off for awhile. I originally thought it was a touch of food poisoning but some symptoms still linger so my energy is not quite what it normally is which is annoying.

I had taken an afternoon to consider a number of things so that I could make wise choices about time management. Naturally a few more options fell on my plate and I’ve got others on a warming tray until solid dates are set. I pick up some of these items to nibble on as I drive long distances to work. I try to listen to God’s voice and come back often to the prayer of Merton who seemingly struggled when making decisions too: Lord, I have no idea where I am going…. BUT with the desire to please The Lord, Merton knew he could move forward because God would bless him because of his single-heartedness.

We all make difficult decisions and we cannot please everyone but God does not want us to be exhausted all the time. We serve no one well if we do not take care of our basic needs. St. Ignatius talked about giving and not counting the cost. I agree with that concept too but I am learning to comprehend that it might mean something more along the lines of not keeping a tally sheet than giving without caring for oneself.

I still have some items on a plate to chew on for a bit before deciding what exactly my fall plate will look like but whatever it ends up being, I know that it will be delicious and nourishing. More importantly, I pray that the plate will be shared and life-giving to others.

What is on your serving menu this fall?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Exulting in the Cross

Posted on September 14, 2014 by sstyves

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The first time I saw the veneration of the cross at Taize I was puzzled watching the faithful come forward and rest their heads on the wood, which was laid flat on the ground. However when my turn came to do it, I found it a very powerful experience. To prostrate oneself is a humble act. To feel the wood for the cross against your forehead for an extended period allows the reality of what Christ did there penetrate in new ways.

This summer I sat and watched as thousands of young people lined up to pay respect to the cross at Taize. I heard that people waited over three hours to rest their heads and send their prayers to heaven that night. It was well after midnight before the last person was done.

What is the draw and why should anyone exult in an execution tool? The cross is a symbol of the death of Christ but more importantly it is a sign of victory–over death and suffering. Ultimately the cross is a symbol of resurrection and hope. The cross shows how much God loves us and the extreme to which God is prepared to fight for us. On this Feast of the Exultation of the Holy Cross, we hear how Christ humbled himself for our sake and are reminded that God so loved the world that the Son of God was sent to save us.

Venerating the Holy Cross is a beautiful and humble act. When was the last time you did it?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Dining with Demons?

Posted on September 13, 2014 by sstyves

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Today’s first reading from 1 Corinthians warns that we cannot partake of the table of the Lord and the table of demons. Paul says it clearly so as not to be misunderstood: I do not want you to be partners with demons. He perhaps set the stage for St. Ignatius to discuss the Two Standards. We cannot serve two masters–we must stand under one standard and choose one leader.

In the Gospel, Jesus teaches his disciples clearly too: Out of the good treasure of the heart the good person produces good, and out of the evil treasure the evil person produces evil; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.

Often we do not really think about where we stand or whose table we sit at during the course of a day. We may find ourselves grazing mindlessly at a table that does not belong to the Lord. The work of demons is subtle; we often don’t even realize that we have been tempted by what was on the table. That’s why the Examen is so important in Ignatian Spirituality–because we reflect on our day and can see when our hearts have wandered and when the abundance of goodness has saved us at times.

Where is your heart these days? Under whose standard are you standing? To whose table are you pulling up your chair? We are bombarded at this time of year with options. Keep your eyes on Christ when making decisions and trust in God’s goodness.

Peace,

Suzanne

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Holy Mary

Posted on September 12, 2014 by sstyves

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Today is another Marian Feast Day–the Most Holy Name of Mary. The first reading from 1Corinthians 9 cautions the faithful to run the race in a way that it is won. The Gospel is a continuation of yesterday’s reading from Luke and clearly warns to take care of your own issues prior to worrying about your neighbour’s. That log in your eye is much bigger than the speck in your neighbour’s.

Perhaps it seems like an odd set of readings for a feast to honour our Mother. However Mary was the first disciple. Her yes lights the way for us and her life is a model of purity. A disciple is not above the teacher we read in Luke. In looking at ourselves we discover how we can become more like Christ. Mary probably did that. She must have marvelled at this Son of hers and surely her love for Him was immeasurable. If we look at Mary’s life there is hope for ours. Fully human, Mary reflects what we are capable of when we keep our eyes on Christ. The finish line will be achievable even when the race seems long and hard.

Where are your eyes these days?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Changes

Posted on September 11, 2014 by sstyves

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Change–few embrace the concept, especially if pain is involved. Today’s Gospel invites readers to a new way of viewing the world: love your enemies? Stop judging? Forgive? Isn’t there an easier way to Heaven?

How do you find enough mercy to do good to those who revile you? Where does one get the courage to offer the other cheek to be struck? Why would I give the cloak off my back to a demanding person? The Golden Rule is part of most of the major religions–do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That one seems the easiest among the other requirements listed today. If we examine the others in that light though, in God’s light, then maybe they all make sense. Wouldn’t we want to be greeted with mercy and compassion when we have wronged someone? Would we be grateful when we have been out of line and someone rises above and takes the higher road without pointing out our fault? Would we not be appreciative of the one who gives us even more than we have dared to ask for?

The reward of doing something unexpected is that we experience a profound moment of grace ourselves. We will receive more than what we have desired. If we give with a free and loving heart, we are blessed abundantly. Our reward is that we will be called children of God. When we embrace change, we can be transformed into what God is calling us to. A caterpillar is a creature of the earth. A butterfly soars high. You can stay on the ground or you can fly high as a thing of beauty. What prevents you from changing?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Love Wins

Posted on September 10, 2014 by sstyves

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On the eve of 9/11 my mind is wondering what tomorrow will bring for people who wake up to horrific memories. As I upload this photo and wait to start spewing my thoughts, Jason Gray’s song Love Will Have the Final Say comes on Songza. This idea that Love wins is also a theme that arose for parents after the Newtown shootings. I am carried by the hope that Love will have the final word rings true for me. We are not meant to be children of the Darkness. God calls us to stand in the Light, even in the impossible moments. Grace will be poured out, even when we cannot fathom it.

I am sure that the survivors and witnesses of 9/11 continue to struggle with what happened that morning. The images are seared into their souls. Watching it on television was unbelievable; being there in person must have been surreal. The truth for me is that we cannot be shaken by what comes in the morning or in the dark. I have lived through some pretty traumatic events and there will be more to come but I deliberately choose to hold fast to the presence of Joy, Grace, and Love. Those have the final word for me. These win for me. The darkness leaves its mark on me for sure, but these will transform it into the Holy. The scarred becomes the Sacred.

The journey is not an easy one, nor is it a simplistic one. I do not believe for a moment that you get to the solid foundation by avoiding the pain. Going into the suffering and coming out the other side is key to healing and transformation. I am thinking of those families from that terrible morning tonight and lifting them in prayer. I am also remembering those right at this moment who are suffering from acts of terrorism around our globe. May Grace and Love win for them too. The final word must go the Light who alone knows how the story ends.

Peace,

Suzanne

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Seeing is Believing

Posted on September 9, 2014 by sstyves

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Some days, what we see is not really what we think we have seen. This butterfly made me do a double take as the camouflage “eye” was so large. The brain has to process the visual image and make sense of it–and this does not always happen immediately. Sometimes what we appear to see is not in fact what we really see. With the information that we see, we may react. This butterfly is a reminder that it is better some days to really take time to process something and not jump to any conclusions.

How often do you think you see something clearly and then realize you are mistaken?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Mary Mother

Posted on September 8, 2014 by sstyves

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On this Marian feast day, we celebrate the Holy Mother’s vocation. Perhaps it is odd to think about Mary having a vocation. She was the living tabernacle for Jesus. Her yes changed the world. If only we knew that our yes would change the world. Perhaps then we would not hesitate to accept what is asked of us.

Tonight I remember my time in the beautiful chapel on Rue du Bac in Paris. I read a little more of St. Catherine Laboure’s biography this evening too. The author says that Mary did not stop at noticing what was wrong but offered solutions like at the wedding at Cana. Do whatever He tells you she says and suddenly the wedding reception becomes a place of great joy and awe. She steps out quietly and saves the day, by nudging Jesus to perform his first miracle.

Jesus, of course, responds in tremendous generosity when he does choose to act. Mary points the way and we are attentive. She shows us the Christ in a new and exciting way–it is all about Him. She does not know what will happen but she believes something magnificent will.

What if each of us used Mary as a model? What if we expected only good things to come when we place our trust in Jesus? Suppose we did whatever we were asked and did not question? Could we become a blessing for our world in ways unexpected and beyond measure? Might we fill cups with the very best?

What joy would come if we approached life in this manner, wouldn’t you agree?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Counting on Community

Posted on September 7, 2014 by sstyves

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The readings today really stress community. Ezekiel stresses the importance of warning the wicked people to turn from their ways and in Romans 13 we see that love must be the guiding factor in the reproach. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus explains to his disciples the process of reconciliation. That process is still found today in many conflict resolution books and respectful workplace policies. Go first to your brother or sister and try to work it out.

There is something wise that allowed that process to remain all these centuries. What wisdom do you hold to when interacting with community? How do you encourage others on their paths to wholeness? What is the best way to point out a fault to someone? Words of love must flow in order to win the other’s trust. Jesus was light years ahead of the authors of books on transforming conflict and yet it still applies today. We need community. Loving correction is key to growth. Would you really want to stay stuck in a place that harms others and yourself?

Peace,

Suzanne

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Cancer Sucks

Posted on September 5, 2014 by sstyves

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A dear and caring friend and I coordinate a prison ministry out of our church. She texted me today and asked if we might visit one of the other volunteers in the hospital today after work instead of tomorrow. That did not sound good and since I had to drive right by the hospital on the way home I agreed.

I hate cancer. I have lost too many people from the disease. I have watched several people survive at great cost and am glad they kicked cancer in the butt and out the door. I know the odds are not always great and I know that this situation was serious. My heart was heavy as I walked towards the hospital entrance.

How does one really prepare to face someone with this greedy disease? I had not seen this volunteer in months and the yellow tone to his skin and the weight loss are always a difficult visual sign of how the person is suffering. Though he said he was not on pain killers, he could hardly keep his eyes open but they would spring open attentively when one of us said something to him. We did not stay too long because he seemed so tired and perhaps slightly confused as he repeated himself a number of times. We listened and tried to affirm him.

Cancer patients hang on sometimes because of unfinished business. We tried hard to let him know how much we–and more importantly, the incarcerated men–appreciated his visits over the years. His desire was to see them one more time, and we tried to skirt that issue with him and just let him know that his time had been appreciated.

Cancer is mean too because it lingers, trying to suck every little piece of dignity out of you before it lets you go. At one point, all I could think of was my uncle’s recent passing and a dear friend who looked so much like he had been starved to death prior to his passing. Images of the later’s journey flashed through my mind. I had to detangle my thinking and for a moment I struggled to be present. One never forgets memories that are seared in pain on the brain. It had been hard to watch my friend wither away so quickly. The protuding collar bone under velvet skin of the volunteer reminded me of my final days with my friend.

As we prayed with him prior to leaving, I reached out and touched that shoulder. Laying my hand gently upon it, words came but I knew not to pray for healing as I listened to his rattling breath in his chest. The whole visit it had not been there but just as I prayed it came. I felt the tears rise knowing that this soul has suffered much. Then when I was done, he reached out and blessed us and the ministry that he loves so much. Even death and illness cannot keep God from working for good. These prayers carry so much weight. I know that as he lays in bed he is storming heaven for men whose lives are cramped by bars of steel. His world has become even more confined than theirs and yet he is free. As I drove home though, I realized that even when cancer seems to win, it does not really. Moments of grace win, moments where a body failing rises above everything to think of someone else worse off and offer prayer for them. The beauty and mystery in that is more profound than I can explain. I have been there so many times with people who have cancer and the memory of the moment of grace always wins. Cancer may suck but it does not have the last word. Grace does.

Peace,

Suzanne

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