All around me are the signs of new life. Today in a quiet moment I pondered what the morning of surgery will hold for me. In prayer I went to the day and saw me on the stretcher, ready to be wheeled to the operating room. Then I wondered what I will do when I am faced with the reality of whether I will open my eyes again after surgery. I did not see that coming. Instantly, an immense feeling of gratitude for all that has been washed over me. Tears streamed down my face. These were not tears of fear but of joy.
I remain hopeful that all shall be very well for me. I still sometimes get overwhelmed by how much stress my illness is causing loved ones. I also find myself reflecting on all the amazing opportunities I have had in life. My one beautiful life has such a stunning graced history. Now I find myself in the hands of God and it seems like such a comfortable place to be. I am teary on occasion. The journey does require courage and grace. As with this morning’s revelation, not all the tears are of sadness or fear. I think that I am keeping it real. I cannot tell even myself everything I am feeling right now but emotions are definitely heightened.
I feel a need to tell people how much I love them and how much they have made an immense difference in my life. I want people to see the world through my eyes some days–how the freshly green leaves that are sprouting are spectacular. This new life of spring–this resurrected Christ–are bursting with Hope and Joy. We are so blessed. I want to soak every minute of it up and say thank you to the Creator.
On the flip side, I am beginning to tire more and need naps as I try to finish tasks. The important items will all get done. My house will not be cleaned. My taxes must wait. Not everyone who wanted to see me will. Every phone call and email will not be returned. I will not be able to contact all the folks that I wanted to prior to surgery. In this season of spring, there is still much letting go to do so that abundant life can unfold.
My life has been well spent and I hope to have many decades still to continue enjoying the gifts given and to share and serve. Spring holds much hope and so do I.
Very beautifully written indeed! You are beautiful!!! I am so grateful for you!!! Thanks for all you give in this grace filled time. God is so good! I feel so hopeful!!! Sleep well! Love you! B
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I am hope-filled too. Glad you are helping to carry my load. Love you lots.
I’m enjoying all of your reflections Suzanne. Each one gives me a spiritual “nudge” of some kind….this one to observe better the signs of spring. Thinking of you. Monica
See God everywhere, Monica. Thanks for your affirmation.
Dear Suzanne, my thoughts and prayers are with you dear lady. In Him, Annette
Thanks for this and for your lovely card and note. You remain in my heart and thoughts too. God is good all the time.
Your outlook is amazing! You inspire me to not take so much for granted, to try to live in the here and now. I’m sending all my positive energy your way for a successful surgery and recovery. I will be eagerly awaiting your blog post to find out how you are doing. Take care.
Thanks, Heather and I appreciate the card and gift. I won’t be blogging for a bit but I have asked Joyce to let you know how things are going. She will be part of an email list.
I remember with fond memories how much I loved Spring in Winnipeg. Not so sure what it will be like in NL as I have not really experienced it since I was a young girl living there. It will be much later than rest of Canada thats for sure, but I will notice the telltale signs. I love the feeling spring brings….new life. Everything starts to feel so fresh again after a long winter. Experiencing the changing of seasons is a beautiful thing. That’s why I could never give up Canada fully like many Canadians and Americans who live here full time. Two more weeks from today and we will arrive in NL again. Still chilly temps…it will take some acclimatizing, but I look forward to it. I look forward to spring:)
I’ve been thinking of you as your surgery date draws near and I know your emotions are running high. It’s to be expected as you journey down a path with some unknown and known possibilities. I’m always inspired by your hopeful and grateful attitude and I know all will be well.
I’m thinking of you and have you in my special prayers, I will be awaiting the news And, just in case I never told you, I’ve always been grateful for your wisdom, kindness and friendship…you’re one of a kind special person with lots more yet to give🌱🍀❤️
Love, Karen Oxox
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Thanks so much, Karen. I really treasure our friendship.