These are strange and wonderful times where some people can say what they need to say clearly. I love that. I have pondered so much in my heart lately. I am full. Today’s Gospel reading is the Prodigal Son. I almost understand better how overwhelmed and humbled he must have felt. I believe I am already being offered a feast shared with the most amazing guests.
I had to ask a friend a really hard question the other day. I have been asking people to be involved in my prayer vigil and funeral which are drafted out. I knew this would be a particularly hard ask. She responded with a yes but no, not really. She did not want to do it. She followed that up with some words that others have said: For you, Suzanne, anything. I got a bit teary. I feel so undeserving of the generosity sometimes and yet this prodigal daughter shows up and keeps asking for more. Kind hearts keep responding. If humans can be this lavish, how much more can God be?
Earlier this week I gathered with some folks from a community I used to worship with and a couple of the people from my support circle for some prayer and song. At the end of the precious evening, I felt a great peace had settled upon the room. It remained with me as I returned home. These gracious people opened their home and hearts to me, feeding my soul. I will long be grateful for such acts of kindness.
I often wonder how the Prodigal Son did in the weeks after the feast. Sometimes in prayer, especially when I do the Examen, I am moved to tears by the mercy shown me. I remember all those acts of goodness bestowed upon me and pray for the givers. I recall those who are praying for me, including a large number of strangers around the world who have heard about my situation through prayer chains or requests. Did the Prodigal ever stop to pinch himself, awestruck by the life he has been regifted? I know that sometimes I do. Even in the knowing that the end is coming, I am ever in love with this life and those who uphold me. I will miss it dearly when I transition to the other side.
When have people reached out to you when you needed it most?
What makes you pinch yourself and wonder how your life ever got this blessed?
You-Who-Welcome-Us-Home, you ask no questions, seek no apologies. You simply lavishly bestow us with more than we can ask or imagine. For you, beloved child, anything, I hear you whisper in my ear as You welcome me each time I come to you. I am so grateful. Amen.