We all do it at some point. We lose our way, fear gets the best of us, temptation seemingly cannot be overcome. We betray the Beloved. I have done it. I still do it some days. I probably will until I take my last breath. Does that mean I won’t get into heaven? As you can imagine I have pondered this question before–not just when I became ill, but twenty years ago when I first took the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. The time I spent exploring the question then has prepared me for now. The loving God that I know will not hold my petty sins against me. This is my belief.
When I first heard the song I Can Only Imagine, I was struck by the lyrics and wondered what exactly I would do when I came face-to-face with God. The song worked itself into my core being and whenever I listened to it, I found myself curious how the reunion would play out. I think I could go either way–dance or be still, throw my arms around God or kneel before the Divine and worship. I can only imagine what that moment will be like but I know that there will be no fear–just joy, love and peace.
Tonight friends and I saw the movie by the same name. It is a compelling, honest look at redemption and how if we open our hearts, healing is possible. God lets even one-time monsters into heaven. The father-son story is painful–the damage visited upon the next generation because of sin is heart-wrenching. The masks we wear to hide our childhood trauma or other suffering do not redeem us. The only way to a new place is to face the old ghosts head on. When we are finally ready to acknowledge that we are not living fully because of what holds us back, we can modify our life course. If we want to alter our lives, we need to lay our burdens on the altar. This film shows it is possible.
What beliefs do you have about heaven?
Are there ghosts holding you hostage when you desire to be free?
I can only imagine what it will be like on that glorious day when I see you face-to-face. Whatever scenario I create, I know that joy, love and peace await me. Thank you, Beloved, for waiting to welcome this wayward women Home. Amen.