Ash Heaps and Thanks Heaps

Posted on October 12, 2015 by sstyves

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The Canadian Thanksgiving is the perfect day to stop and be conscious of the many blessings received this year. Where do I begin? Of course, I start with the Creator who has accompanied me through all of this. From there all blessings flow and thus, I start with three simple words: Thank You, God.

The Trinity, and the team of mystics and angels that accompany them, have given me a strong faith. Many petitions have been raised to the great cloud of witnesses, holy men and women, saints from of old. I am very grateful for my own faith, steeped in Ignatian spirituality, and that of those who have supported me, both alive and beyond. When I cannot carry myself, I have let myself be carried by words and prayers, and through love and peace. God continues to have this; I know this to be true at my depths.

Today’s Thanksgiving Readings were beautiful. Colossians 3 reminds us not once, but twice, to be thankful. The Gospel Reading is a favourite, with strong memories of comfort: Ask, seek, knock. God will not give you a snake. We need to ask for good things. I have through this cancer maze kept asking so many of you to pray. Prayer is on the thanks heap.

The Responsorial Psalm (113) states that God raises the poor from the dust, and lifts the needy from the ash heap. In my imagination, I review my year and see the ash heap as a black smouldering pit that reduces in size while the growing thanks heap is filled with brightly coloured leaves that have fallen as I have let go of many things, but still maintain joy and gratitude. God has raised me from the dust and is lifting me from the ash heap.

I am thankful for amazing grace and marvelous miracles. I appreciate the beauty balms of walking through the summer sunshine and the autumn foliage, of the creativity of adult colouring books, and of music that soothes the soul. I love the warmth of the shower on my traumatized body, the smell of oils that heal, and the taste of healthy food.

I am blessed by memories that accompany contact with friends who have been in my life for varying amounts of time, some for almost 50 years. The ability of the mind to transport me anywhere in the world so that I am once again in the presence of a person is remarkable. Of course, technology is another blessing that with a couple of clicks, I can arrive in the living room of a dear one. I look often at my graced history and am humbled that my life has had such tremendous goodness sprinkled lavishly throughout it.

This list of the thanks heap is not in any particular order now, and so to it, I add the gift of family, both immediate and extended, blood and soul. We often cannot pick our family members and this year I am grateful for each one as they are, with the ability to see how each one has stepped up to the plate and brought all that they could for me when I needed it the most. The transformation in some cases has been a small miracle, and my own ability to be open and draw better boundaries has been surprising at times.

The medical teams that have been with me since September of last year are worthy of a standing ovation. From the receptionists to the health care aides to the lab techs to radiologists, and cleaning staff, from the surgeons, family practioners, and oncologists, to the variety of nurses, to the social workers, to the nutritionist, and even to the security staff, I have mostly been treated with immense compassion and quality care. To those who have accompanied me to scans, tests, procedures, surgery, and chemotherapy, you have been a life line and a calming presence. To those who helped me keep family and friends informed while I was unable to, you served both me and them the gift of peace. To those who have fed me and gifted me with a variety of presents and words, I bow to your generosity.

For life which continues to course through these veins with intent and passion, I embrace the goodness and thank you for each minute I have left here on earth. May it turn into decades and may I never say that I do not like aging.

For resilience that leaves me gobsmacked, I humbly acknowledge that paired with the ability to remain joyously hope-filled, it is a life force that the Divine Dealer dealt to me in abundance. For hope, joy, peace, and love, thanks be to God.

For my body, which continues to fight almost fearlessly against all that has come its way, I salute you. You are a warrior. Your time in the trenches has been extended and you are a trooper. I long to treat you with a glorious surprise when this is all done.

I could continue at length. What am I ungrateful for? I hope not much. I hope that I can always see the blessings and know that in the frame of mutuality that I too am a blessing. The ash heap is not my focus. The thanks heap is. May you too count the ways in which your life has purpose and joy. May you know all the goodness that life has to offer and may your heart always be grateful for that.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What is in your ash heap this Thanksgiving? Do you see the hand of God extended to lift you from it?
How high is your thanks heap? Has God received your gratitude for that?

Prayer
Generous Giver,
You cannot be outdone
I do not even know where to start
How can I thank you
other than by living and serving you?
May I always be grateful for
the abundant gifts, blessings and mercies
received without reservation.
Thank You, God.

Amen.

Posted in #BibleStories, #CancerSurvivor, #Consolation, #Miracles, #prayer, #Saints, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Narrow Gates & Minds

Posted on October 11, 2015 by sstyves

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The Gospel Reading from Mark today points out that it is hard to enter the kingdom of God. How much easier is it for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle! Sometimes that image gets translated, whether correctly or not, into a camel going through a gate in Jerusalem that was meant for people and not animals. Everything the camel was carrying had to be removed in order for the camel to get through. Some scholars say this does not pertain to this particular Gospel, but I like the image anyway.

When I heard the reading proclaimed last night, the thought that ran through my head was that when Jesus addressed the young man, he already knew the biggest barrier for him. Looking at him in love and with compassion, he placed the challenge before him: You lack one thing: go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me. Each of us has that one stumbling block, the one piece of baggage that removing from the camel’s back causes angst. This item is what creates for us the inability to follow Jesus. It varies for each of us. St. Ignatius called these inordinate attachments. They prevent us from being truly free.

The Second Reading from Hebrews is truth: The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing until it divides soul from spirit, joints from marrow; it is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. When the word of God is a word for us, it slices through everything and strikes our hearts. If the word is for us, we can recognize it and it will resonate in ways that will call forth change. The man heard the word of God that day, spoken through Jesus. He left grieving. We never know if the man is so unsettled that he does sell everything and follows Jesus or if he carries on his life unchanged. Perhaps he remains unable to follow the Christ but carries the burden of the words that prevent him from treasure in heaven.

In Wisdom 7, we see how the Spirit of Wisdom is yearned for more than anything else. All good things come to the one who seeks Wisdom. Perhaps the man did eventually return to Jesus, empty-handed but full-hearted. Sometimes we need a little more time to unpack the camel to get through the gate. Our narrow minds cannot comprehend this new way of living.

May the favour of the Lord be upon us, as the psalmist sings, and prosper for us, the work of our hands. May we gain a wise heart and an open mind as we let go of all that stops us from running the race that Jesus calls us to.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How much baggage must you remove from the camel?
What is the inordinate attachment that you cannot let go of?

Prayer

Dear Jesus,
You know I lack one thing
but you look at me and love me
right now, even as I insist on
dragging that baggage with me.
Help me to let it go and
follow you with empty hands
and a big heart for you.

Amen.

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Amazing Grace

Posted on October 11, 2015 by sstyves

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In the past 24 hours, many people have commented that I have persevered with such grace or have prayed a blessing of grace over me, since I have shared with my friends an update on my health status. The word grace has leapt out for me and I find myself grateful, so utterly grateful, for amazing grace. I have prayed for months that I may find grace for what I must face. In tough moments, I have not asked for the cup to be removed, but for the grace and strength to accept the moments that are before me.

I sense that precious word has a gift for me yet. Sometimes we cannot see our own trailblazing, and it is only afterwards, when we look back we are surprised to see behind us a following of people who have found courage in the steps we have taken; we look ahead with joy, and see those cheering us on to this place; we look beside with gratitude to those who have run with us, each crucial stride forward. We forget to look within because we were so focused on running the race, that we did not see the fortitude and grace that propelled us forward.

My faith has slowly shifted over the past decade or so while I have directed the 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises. I have learned to see God in all things and I know that the lessons I am learning this year will be grace-filled. I am humbly seeing the great and beautiful gift of Ignatian spirituality in my life during this time. I recognize how my life is in God’s great hands and therefore I am in good hands. Grace comes packed in tissue paper, sprinkled with glitter and wrapped with a steel ribbon. Grace has a vulnerability and softness to it while at the same time a joy and beauty that take my breath away. Grace is encased by strength.

I am saved by a great God who helps me to see goodness in all things, a God whose grace is sufficient for each one of us. I can only cry out with tremendous joy that I am here in this state because God’s grace has led me here.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions:

What does grace look like to you?
Where has grace appeared in your Life?

Prayer

Amazing Grace, gently bestowed on us,
packaged in brightly-coloured tissue paper,
sprinkled with golden glitter that catches the Light,
and wrapped with a steel ribbon.
Amazing Grace,
you humble me
and I receive you
with immense gratitude.

Amen.

Posted in #CancerSurvivor, #Consolation, #Miracles, #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Strong Demons

Posted on October 9, 2015 by sstyves

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If we believe in the Light, we have to believe too in the Dark. St. Ignatius taught about discerning Spirits in his Spiritual Exercises. I personally do not like to think much about this, but from time to time I am confronted with the question of demons in our world. For many of us believers, the topic creates an uneasiness, myself included. Today’s Gospel from Luke 11 causes one to not want to think about the topic.

Jesus has just cast out a demon and people are testing him. He eventually explains to those gathered about what happens when a strong man, fully armed, guards his castle. The man is safe until someone stronger comes along, attacks and overpowers him. He continues by saying that when an unclean spirit goes out of a person, it wanders through waterless regions looking for a resting place. When it finds none, it decides to return to the house where it came from, but returning finds it in order so needs to bring seven other spirits more evil than itself to crash into the place and take up residency, creating more havoc than it had before.

That is one scary reading. In the healing prayer work that I used to do, the teams would, on rare occasion need to cast out demons. The person receiving prayer was often a victim of sexual abuse. I remember one time, a woman quite a few years older than me, seemed to have a demon attached to her. I turned to a Mennonite woman on the team and asked her to pray. Ironically, she called upon St. Michael and invoking his name, successfully cast out the evil spirit that had been tormenting the woman. The good Catholic did not think to pray to St. Michael but her quick response did the trick! We were taught to bind and silence spirits and send them to the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ to be dealt with as he saw fit.

I wonder if people who deal with entities or cast out spirits in other names realize that they may release the spirit back into the world where it can prey on other people. I am not an expert on this topic by any means but I have encountered demons in other people and have been plagued by them when I try to help others. This odd gift of mine always unsettles me. I spoke to a priest once about it and he gave me ways of coping better when I do find myself in the presence of dark spirits.

If you believe in the Power of the Light, you know Love Wins. The fight is not always easy, nor does it mean there are no casualties. Remembering to call upon the name of Jesus and to cast out the darkness in the name of Jesus Christ are key to kicking out of the house even the strongest of demons. They cannot stand to be in the Light.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How do you deal with Scripture that seems scary and unsettling?
Have you had any encounters with strong demons?

Prayer

God of Light,
banish the Dark
keep at bay
the hounds that nip at our feet
trying to destroy us.
Sweep this house clean
of all that does not belong.
Shine the windows.
Let the Light fill each room
with joy and deep peace.

Amen.

Posted in #BibleStories, #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , | 2 Comments

The Hard Things

Posted on October 8, 2015 by sstyves

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You cannot unsee the hard things. Yesterday, as I was en route to pick up something, I could hear sirens filling the air. I came out between two buildings and saw the accident scene. A vehicle and a semi had t-boned at an intersection. I had to cross the street to get to where I was going. I told myself not to look and to just keep walking. Other people stood on the sidewalks gawking. I shook my head. I planned my alternate route. Then I caught the eye of a woman who was not gawking. She was standing there and I could not read her face. A witness, I wondered. She broke eye contact and I knew that she wanted no comfort. I walked past her and on to my task. I turned to make sure that the street was safe to cross and just as I did the paramedic yanked the driver door open, allowing me to see inside. My heart crumbled at what I saw. I kept walking.

On the way back, a woman on her phone was saying that a baby had been involved. I took a deep breath and kept on walking, praying all the while since I had first come upon the scene. I had been gone maybe 10 minutes. I steeled myself for what I might see as I emerged from behind the building that hid the accident scene. Some people were still standing out on the sidewalk. In my head, I muttered at them to go away, in between my prayers. These moments, painful and private, will stick in memories forever. I saw my first accident when I was in Kenya over 25 years ago. I am pretty sure that man on the side of the road was dead. I still see it because you cannot unsee these scenes. They are shocking.

I checked the street again before crossing and my eyes unfortunately strayed to the small person on the ground, surrounded by paramedics. All I could see was his stocking feet, so tiny and still. I heard later that one of the paramedics offered him a teddy bear to calm and comfort him as he lay there on the board. I returned to my car and pulled out my phone. Please pray….I posted on Facebook. I do not like to use Facebook for these purposes but I needed to know that this family and the team working to rescue them were surrounded in prayer. I have not heard a follow up to the story today but in checking online last night I did hear that all three occupants, including the baby had been upgraded to stable condition. Thanks be to God. May healing happen for everyone involved.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Have you ever seen something horrible that is permanently ingrained on your memory?
What has been your response to witnessing a tragedy, either in person or on television?

Prayer

Loving God,
You send angels to minister
when we need them most.
I pray for these two families
who are impacted by this accident
May peace and healing be theirs.
May angels also attend to the needs
of those who worked the scene
or witnessed the crash.

Amen.

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Erasing the Margins

Posted on October 6, 2015 by sstyves

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Fr. Gregory Boyle SJ, founder of Homeboy Industries, delivered the 2015 Sol Kannee Lecture on Peace ad Justice today. The emotional and enlightening words had the audience on their feet at the end and in or near tears at various points. This humble, gentle man spoke Truth again, continuing to show us the path. He invited us to not come to this lecture but to go from it–with a new vision and hope to do the slow work of God.

Quoting Mother Teresa’s words if we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other, he reminded us that we do belong to each other. He suggested that we need to dismantle the obstacles that allow us to alienate the other. We need to stand at the margins and watch them be erased beneath our feet. We must choose more often to stand at the margins in privileged moments with those easily despised in order to stop the demonizing and disposing of those who are on the other side of what we deem as acceptable. Without kinship, justice and peace cannot survive.

He reiterated that we are all in need of healing. Borrowing Helen Prejean’s words, he reminded us that we are all more than the worst thing we have ever done. Each of us may need an enlightened witness, a term coined by Alice Miller, to help us return to our true selves through love. He told a painful story of one of the homies whose mother would beat him so badly that he needed to wear three shirts so that the blood from the wounds on his back would not be visible in elementary school. The homie came to realize that he needed to welcome his scars: My wounds are my friends. How can I help heal the wounded if I do not welcome my own wounds?

As wounded people, we can infuse hope by sharing our stories. If we understand that the relationships are mutual and equal, we open ourselves to further healing. One story of my own comes to mind. I have volunteered within the prison system for over a decade. One night, during a conversation with a lifer, I was given a tremendous gift–a deep insight about something I had been struggling with. I went off to South Africa soon afterwards and when I returned he had stopped coming to the chapel. When he surprised me by showing up months later at Christmas Eve mass, I told him I needed to talk to him. When we sat down after mass, I said only three words: You healed me. The look on his face expressed his immense gratitude. As we talked more about what had happened, I could see that those three words were healing for him too. The relationship was not me going into the prison, wanting to fix some inmate. The relationship was me daring to stand on the margins and erasing them as healing happened for both of us.

Kinship will win the day in the end, Boyle said. If you choose to stand at the margins, people will ask why you are standing there. The answer is so that no one is left out and those lines are erased. Love is the answer; community is the context. This is the slow work of God.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Have you ever seen the margins disappear under your feet?
How can your community welcome those who live at the margins of life?

Prayer

Creator God,
is that an eraser in your hand?
Why are you giving it to me?
May I be worthy of this gift.

Amen.

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Slow Work of God

Posted on October 5, 2015 by sstyves

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This morning I had the opportunity to hear some inspiring words for the path I am on. Jesuit Fr. Gregory Boyle founded HomeBoy and HomeGirl Industries 27 years ago in Los Angeles to create a kinship between rival gang members and provide them with a place to work on issues as well as job training as an alternative to the violent lifestyles they were leading. As he spoke to the group of us gathered to discuss supporting people with former gang ties or who had been incarcerated, I found myself being given a light for my own dark spaces.

Fr. G, as he is called by the homies, made sense in all kinds of ways as he spoke today. We are all in need of healing; we can’t despise the wounded. In a world where it is easy to throw broken people into yet another prison, he provides a place were people can do the healing work they need to. He shared that one trainee explained that he worked at the diner but mostly he worked on himself. How insightful is that! Fr. Greg and his companions choose to work with those who deserve second chances and who are not so easily integrated back into society. The staff and the trainees are all on the path to wholeness. The sense one got listening is a healthy but hard road of equality where everyone learns from the other. Those gathered laughed when he said that when he hears the words I have a message for…., he thinks Call me when you lose the message. The relationship is mutual, neither a hand out or a hand up, but simply a hand that says I am with you. The goal is not to reach out to them but to merely receive those who come.

The work that most of us in the room do is the slow work of God in which healing happens incrementally. The big issues cannot change overnight, having lurked in the darkness for decades and even centuries. Fr. Greg believes that healing will decrease crime. We do not need more prisons to house bad people. We need more compassion and understanding. He used the recent shooting in the USA as a caution about how we continue to alienate and despise the wounded when we do not name the shooter as if that person’s life matters less than other lives. It is a controversial stance, one I have taken in the past too. We do not know what brings those who commit violence to the place of doing it and they need our understanding. Mental illness is still stigmatized. There will be no progress in civilization if we paint people with the evil brush. Healing is key to moving forward.

Fr. Greg also spoke to the myth that people join gangs to belong. No hopeful kid has ever joined a gang. People join gangs, he stated, because they are fleeing something. Not everyone can make good choices because not all choices are equal. This was an eye-opening statement for me. He shared a heart-wrenching story of a man who as a young boy had his mother blame him for making her slit her wrists–he carried the guilt and shame for years until he discovered that this was the essential wound that had derailed him. Most gang members prefer rage to shame but those who can do the work can break the bondage. When people can come to terms with what they have done and what has been done to them, there is hope for healing. What we need to work on is to stand in awe of what these people have had to carry rather than in judgment of how they have carried it. We need to allow ourselves to be transformed by the poor and those on the margins.

Fr. Greg closed with a beautiful story that struck to the heart of the matter for those of us in the room. One of the homies was picked up en route to his brother’s funeral by Fr. Greg. He had had a dream the night before. He was in total darkness but he knew that Fr. Greg was in the room with him. Suddenly, Fr. Greg pulled out a flashlight and pointed it to the light switch on the wall. He held it there while the man got up, walked across the room and turned on the light. The room was flooded with light. Not only are we not to stand in judgment but we are not supposed to be running to turn on the lights in the darkness. We are there to share the pain, point the way, and to listen. This story will be what I am taking away for my own personal life as well as the prison ministry I do. I am not to rescue but to quietly be with, stand in awe, and point the way. This is all about the slow work of God.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What are the attitudes you bring to the ministries in which you serve?
Where do you need to bring a flashlight to assist in the slow work of God?

Prayer

God-Without-A-Magic-Wand,
You are patient and merciful.
You wait for us to discard our
judgments and open our hearts.
You alone are Light in the darkness;
we are merely candles that you illuminate.
May we shine brightly for you and wait with you.

Amen.

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Feast of Francis

Posted on October 4, 2015 by sstyves

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Fourteen months ago I arrived here at the Basilica of San Francesco in Assisi, Italy at sunset. To say I fell in love with it upon sight is a bit of an understatement. I stood looking at it, marveling at the cloud patterns and the pink sky, and was thoroughly enchanted by it all. The remains of St. Francis and four of his most devoted companions are entombed here within the walls. The statue of Francis on his horse, returning from battle in the upper courtyard, beckoned me to pay attention. He looked dejected, having given up the notion of becoming a grand knight because God had planted the idea that he should return to his city and wait for further instruction as to what he should do.

Francis is one of the most popular saints in the world. When I set out for my pilgrimage, the number of people who asked for prayer in Assisi to St. Francis outnumbered all else I was asked. St. Francis believed that every circumstance held an opportunity to find the beauty of God’s love. Even though he was not Ignatian, he did find God in all things. His story is quite amazing. Born in 1182 into a wealthy family of a cloth dealer, he was a spoiled party goer. He became ill after being captured during a war and imprisoned for a year before being released. Once restored to health, he desired to be a knight but slowly he had a conversion and was alienated by his friends. He eventually renounced his father’s wealth, stripped naked and returned his clothes to his father in public. He undertook rebuilding a chapel because he heard the Lord tell him to repair his house. Slowly companions joined him and the group grew into an order that would be known as the Franciscans. Stories and legends abound about Francis, some quite spectacular. His spiritual friendship with Clare also merits recognition. Many know of his attachment to all of creation and some of the mystical encounters with animals. A leper changed his life. Francis who had always had an abhorrence to lepers was drawn to embrace one.

One of the appeals of Francis for me is that he had a deep conversion that turned his life around. He wholeheartedly walked away from a life of luxury and embraced the mission that God placed before him. His prayerful commitment led him around the world and yet to the people of his very own village. He allowed God to use him completely, including through the stigmata. In Ignatian terms, he returned to God all that had been given to him. He knew the Take Lord and Receive commitment completely.

I strongly encourage people to read about this saint as he has the potential to bring blessings to your life. As we watch Pope Francis move in the world, we get a glimpse of St. Francis. His focus on caring for the environment, his willingness to embrace poverty and the least of these, his spiritual friendships, his conversion, and his great devotion to God are inspiring. When I went to Assisi, I felt a sacred mysticism radiating from the buildings and the cobblestone roads. I truly felt like Francis, Clare and the great cloud of witness that had walked those paths had spread holiness in this village that remains today.

Peace, or as Francis might sign off, Pax et bonum!

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What saint has impacted you and why?
Francis renounced everything to follow Christ’s call in his life. How do you understand this call in your own life?

Prayer

God, you gave St. Francis a heart of service,
a spirit of courage and prayerfulness,
and a mind set on pleasing you.
Bless us too, Creator, with these gifts
so that we may love you, one another
and all creation with such zeal and joy.

Amen.

Posted in #prayer, #Saints, #Travel, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Mindfulness Matters

Posted on October 3, 2015 by sstyves

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I am participating in the 31-Day Mindfulness Summit that started October 1. The ironic thing is that I multi-task as I listen. Yeah….I know. Sad, isn’t it? The world can be filled with the best of intentions that never come to fruition.

To be honest, so far the talks have not inspired me one iota. I am hoping that they will as time goes on or that I will stop and listen better than I currently am. They are good just not as helpful as I was hoping for. When I went on retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) a few summers ago, I was impressed by what mindfulness could offer people. Christians can meditate and those of us who embrace Ignatian spirituality may be drawn more to contemplation than meditation. This is true for me. I find more benefits from that type of prayer but I think what is key with meditation, or prayer of any sort, is the slowing down and listening. Other than when we sleep, most people do not stop during the day. Our minds can alternate between buzzing or numbing. A great deal of goodness can spring out of taking a few minutes every single day to stop and just breathe. Whether you are religious or not, this is a a good practice.

Studies show many benefits to mindfulness. Mindfulness returns you to the present moment and not the regret of the past or fear of the future. Jesus reminds us not to worry about tomorrow so the thought is not just a Buddhist construct. Mindfulness can make us less judgmental and therefore kinder people. Our relationships may be enhanced because of this. The health implications are positive, with longer and healthier lives being a result. Even as we look to Thay who has marveled his followers by his slow recovery from his illness this past year, we can see that breathing mindfully does heal us on deep levels. Others may not have been able to have made such good progress. We may call it differently in the Christian world, but I believe that mindfulness matters.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How does stopping and simply breathing change you?
In a world where we multi-task, how might the practice of living in the moment be a gift?

Prayer

Jesus, you ask us not to worry about tomorrow
but so often our minds race ahead to what is coming
that we forget that you and God already have it under control.
Teach me to stop, breathe, and focus on you
so that I might let go and live fully aware and alive.
Jesus, I breathe you in
and breathe out all anxiety.
May your peace fill me completely.

Amen.

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Holy Guardian Angels

Posted on October 2, 2015 by sstyves

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O God, who in your unfathomable providence are pleased to send your holy Angels to guard us, hear our supplication as we cry to you, that we may always be defended by their protection and rejoice eternally in their company. The collect from today’s mass reminds us that this is a feast day in honour of the ones that work to keep us safe. Our holy Guardian Angels may remind us of our childhood prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
thy angels watch me through the night,
And keep me safe till morning’s light.

When I think of guardian angels tonight, I feel especially blessed. While few people know the details of everything I have been through these past ten months, I have been vocal about some of the amazing events because God.had.this. I do not want to keep those wonders to myself. When it first became clear that I was quite ill, I was able to remain somewhat calm. Every night I would fall asleep to the Sons of Korah’s Psalm 91 and imagine myself wrapped in angel wings. I knew early on that I might not get out of this alive. The surgeon had been very clear about my chances of survival. So each night, I crawled into bed reminding myself that Jesus had wrapped his cloak around me and commanded his angels to protect me. I found peace in this image and it did get me through the most difficult moments, along with the many prayers world-wide that were raised on my behalf. Sometimes, I think my angels must have felt great pressure guarding me. They knew how much Jesus himself loved me and each prayer lifted, each candle lit, each mass celebrated, and each tear shed must have weighed heavy on them.
As arrogant as it sounds, I am quite humble about that thought.

I have jokingly said for years that I do not have one guardian angel–I have a whole tag team. I am not reckless but I have found myself in odd situations while I have served God. Gunfire in the heart of Washington, DC or in the DRC in Africa must have been a cause of concern for my angels. Icy roads and hurricanes put them on alert. Demons wanting to lure me into the darkness stood no chance with these Holy Ones by my side. Now this cancer threatens to wreak havoc, but I am deeply consoled when I do the Examen at the end of the day to see that God has been very present and his angels hard at work.

My gratitude for these blessed creatures who serve God with joy and delight is inexpressible. One day I will rejoice eternally with them, resting in their company, and I will know a peace that I only experienced a wee bit of in those early months, each night as I lay me down to sleep, knowing my angels would keep me safe until morning’s light.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What memories do you have of your Guardian Angel keeping you safe?
What will you say to your Guardian Angel as you rejoice eternally with this beloved creature?

Prayer
Guardian Angels, keep me safe
as I serve our Master
Protect me from all harm
now and always.
Thank you for rescuing me
from dangers seen and unseen.

Amen.

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