Completely Incapable

Posted on October 26, 2015 by sstyves

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Luke 13 tells a stunning story of compassion and healing today. Jesus is teaching in the synagogue on the Sabbath and a woman who has been bent over for 18 years is present. Crippled by a spirit, she was bent over, completely incapable of standing erect. Jesus calls out to her to say she is freed of her infirmity and then goes over to her to lay his hands upon her. She stands up straight and immediately praises God. The leaders are irate that he has chosen to heal her on the Sabbath and tells the crowd to come the other six days to be healed. Jesus reacts sharply by scolding the hypocrites, saying that the poor daughter of Abraham deserved to be set free from her bondage. His opponents were shamed and the others in the crowd rejoiced at all the wonderful things that he was doing.

This reading has so many levels to it. I have loved it a long time but a turning point came while reading Mary Lou Sleevi’s book Women of the Word when she talked about the bent woman as a question mark that became an exclamation point. That image has always stayed with me. God makes crooked things straight. Also in this story, the one completely incapable is made capable. More than that, readers see that the leaders of the synagogue are completely incapable of seeing God’s goodness at work here as they choose rules over love. Everyone else in the story rejoices and praises God.

We all can be any of these folks. Some days we have a lot of questions for God, who provides an answer and then we can exclaim praises. Some days we get mired down in the logistics and argue–but God, this is not supposed to work this way. Other times we can simply rejoice at being a witness to God’s great goodness. We all can be completely incapable of comprehending God’s ways. That’s when Jesus can remind us that we are all poor children of Abraham.

On another note, Jesus wastes no time to get rid of the demons that crippled the woman. He notices them in the space and immediately deals with the issue without being asked. He calls out to her and tells her she is freed. He lays his hands on her and immediately she knows that the spirit has left. We are completely incapable of knowing what Jesus can do until we experience the miracle firsthand. Then our world is forever changed.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions:

When have you been completely incapable of comprehending God’s great goodness?
Which of the people in the story do you represent right now?

Prayer

We are completely incapable of
grasping your great goodness, God.
Turn our question marks into
exclamation points of praise.

Amen.

Posted in #BibleStories, #Miracles, #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Take Heart!

Posted on October 25, 2015 by sstyves

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A blind beggar sits by the roadside as Jesus and a large crowd leave Jericho. He has been left out of the excitement but that is about to change drastically. Bartimeus begins to shout out loud when he learns that Jesus is nearby and begs him for mercy. Jesus stops and says to call him here. The blind man is told to take heart and get up because Jesus was calling him. Bartimeus’ response was to throw off his cloak, spring up and go to Jesus.

What a reaction that was! After shouting perhaps at the top of his lungs, he realized he was heard and his request for mercy was about to be answered. He throws off his cloak–and this can be overlooked as anything remarkable but I wonder if he was not cured how he would have found it again in the crowd after his encounter with Christ. He did not seem to even give it a second thought. He trustingly tosses it aside and leaps up, expectant and ready to act.

Jesus asks him one question–and it is not so simple –but the blind man knows the desires of his heart: My teacher, let me see again. He does not hesitate with his response. He has probably contemplated this moment since hearing about Jesus. My teacher implies he knew of this Son of David who he had already called out to. This allowed him to spring up and go to Jesus.

We all have desires. St. Ignatius prior to his conversion had the desire to impress the world as a knight and to have ladies swoon over him. After his reading the lives of the saints, his desire was to serve God first and to live a holy life. Clearly, too, Bartimeus had given some thought on what would happen next if his vision was restored. He does not go back for his cloak and continue on with his life. Instead, we are told that he followed Jesus on the way. His desire was to be in God’s good stead and here he was, committed to following the Son of God. As with St. Ignatius, his old life was over and his new life had begun. In the Spiritual Exercises, the retreatant asks for a grace based on the desire of one’s heart. When that grace is received it can be a powerful moment.

I think it is important to also acknowledge that God places desires in our hearts for a reason and when we become aware of desires it is important to discern whether the desires are from God or not. Ignatius’ original desires of fame and fortune were not from God and the restlessness that was instilled as he read the lives of holy men and women proved it. We must pay attention to the desires of our hearts and discern who placed them there. Then we must be ready to act on them when the time comes. The desires that God places will lead us to a more fulfilled life; the desires from the Dark One will lead us away from the will of God, sometimes in discreet ways. The blind beggar is a good example for us. When we take time to sit by the roadside and listen to our desires, we too, can throw off what burdens us, spring up and run to Jesus, knowing full well what we want because God has led us to that moment.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How do you approach Jesus when it comes to the desires of your heart?
What do you do when the desires are granted?

Prayer

Sitting at the roadside
has given me plenty of time
to know what you want from me
May my heart be ready to
throw off that which burdens me
and may I long to run to you, Jesus,
so that my life will be forever changed.

Amen.

Posted in #BibleStories, #Miracles, #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Open to the Spirit’s Kindness

Posted on October 24, 2015 by sstyves

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“You can only attract success for yourself if you want every single one of your competitors to be good and strong. When you wish good things for others, this comes back to you. The strength to be kind is not often asked for, but this is perhaps the most important strength to have.” – advice to Clara Hughes by an elder, as told in her memoir, Open Heart, Open Mind.

I walked along White Rock Beach this past summer with a very grateful heart to explore the ocean at low tide. I was alone and at peace. I met a family and the son held out his hand to me to show me his find, pictured above. As often happens on vacation, strangers connect with open hearts and minds. The interactions are usually kind and sweet. I do believe in the line from Hebrews that we can entertain angels unaware so I try to be welcoming to those who come across my path. I walked away happy to have encountered them, although a little worried about the wisdom of picking up the sea creature.

I began to read Clara Hughes’ autobiography last night and was immediately drawn into her story. I first saw Clara compete in Atlanta in 1996 and something about her leapt out of the television and into my heart. I have always had a fondness for her since that moment. She launched her book recently in my city and I was there amongst the hundreds of other fans. She did not speak long but whatever it was that caught my heart at first sight almost 20 years ago still resonated.

The advice given to her prior to the Vancouver Olympics in 2010 by an Aboriginal Elder hinted at a secret to life that she has seemingly embraced. I think perhaps we have seen it too in Justin Trudeau in these weeks on the campaign trail and as he awaits office. He has chosen to run a clean race, without mudslinging and it was refreshing. We must have the strength to be kind.

In my illness, I have asked for grace, courage, and strength. Today as I went for my walk, I asked for the grace to be kind. I have mostly been kind–at least outwardly to people. The physical demands of the surgery, the recovery, and the chemo have been challenging. The emotional demands of feeling overwhelmed, of trying to remember to be gracious and grateful, of the sudden hairpin turns on this wild ride, and trying to be open to what comes can leave me exhausted. In Ignatian spirituality, the person praying often asks for a specific grace. This one–the strength to be kind–might be a new one added to my repertoire.

Our world can be highly competitive and individualistic. This grace changes that, blessing both people, because it does away with the scarcity factor. If we wish good things for others, we believe there is enough to go around. I do not need to get it all; we can share what there is and all have enough. What a difference this makes!

I do not like to compete and I am learning that I must just do my best and be at peace. When I watched Clara beat the record in Vancouver, her exuberance was magnificent. She slipped out of the gold medal standing but still, she knew that she had done her very best. What a lesson! When I graduated from university five years ago, I had not believed I was a smart person due to childhood wounds. I set out to do my very best and ended up placing as the gold medalist in my major area. I was shocked. I had not even known such a thing existed. I wept when I received the notice in the mail and many times after as I shared the news.

The strength to be kind is a valuable lesson for each of us. I have been blessed with amazing kind angels in these many months of my illness. While I have had a few unkind people cross my path, I have managed for the most part not to dwell on these interactions. The truth is I have had very few unfulfilled needs–needs I did not always know were there until something was done to alleviate them. Some might say it is because I have attracted this from something of my own volition. I suspect that I have planted a good garden of friendship and love and that my harvest is plentiful but I also know that many kind strangers have offered me support who expect nothing in return. The Holy Spirit has placed them on my path. I think especially of the nurses and other staff at CancerCare who have provided me with phenomenal care with an upbeat attitude. I know they care and so many of them are remarkably kind. I often marvel at one or two in particular who are precious to me. I wish them all good things. They make me want to be a kinder stranger to people.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What does the strength to be kind look like to you?
Can you let go of competition and wish people all the best?

Prayer
Dear Jesus,
You showed us what it is
to have the strength of kindness.
Place your love into my heart
and let it spill out to everyone I meet.
May I wish only goodness to those I encounter.

Amen.

Posted in #CancerSurvivor, #Miracles, #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Aging Parents

Posted on October 23, 2015 by sstyves

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Aging parents create special worry. After years of looking after children, minding their scrapes and boo-boos, staying up late to ensure their offspring arrive home safely, launching them into the world, and caring for grandchildren, the time comes when the roles reverse. The children now are the caregivers.

I have spent part of the afternoon hanging out with my parents, a job that my younger sister has been doing fairly regularly recently. I did a few errands around the house. Clearly, they are not able to do some of the things that they were once able to do. As I did the small repairs and sorted through a couple of items, I was acutely aware of the fragility of aging. Dad guided me through some of the tasks. Mom reminded him that I knew something about tools due to some volunteer work that I had done. I smiled at both of them, understanding where it was coming from.

Compassion comes in many forms and I have to admit that this was one of the best visits I have had with my parents in a while.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How are your parents aging?
What do they need from you?

Prayer

God,
You created us to be family,
to be dependent on one another,
to be helpmates for each other.
When the roles reverse,
make me compassionate and merciful.

Amen.

Posted in #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Spirituality | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Week Three

Posted on October 22, 2015 by sstyves

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I have not been able to write my daily blog posts lately. The third week in my chemo cycle is a bit of a kick to the curb. Physically, I feel the most unwell and mentally, I find myself exhausted. My energy goes into resting and staying positive.

I stand in awe of what some patients can endure with these treatments. I look around at people in the other chairs and most of them seem to have longer infusions that take a toll on them. I applaud the staff who stay cheerful as we struggle at times or look unwell. They are saints. I was saying to my social worker this week that I do not think I am doing anything extraordinary with handling the chemo–I just do it because I have to. He reminded me that the extraordinary appears in the ordinary. I have been mulling this over since seeing him and realize that yes, there is something great required here and I must be grateful for grace and for the prayers that carry me through.

I plod along and realize that next week I am at the halfway mark. Three months are done and three months are left. The whole experience still feels a bit surreal to me. Last night I lay in bed thinking about all I had been through and I could feel the weariness in my mind and body. I still think that I have somehow let my body down and been unable to protect it on some levels but that I can still offer it compassion. Perhaps that is an odd thought as most would suggest that my body has let me down but I see it working so hard to get and stay well. Today I went to a physiotherapist who does release work and my body responded beautifully to her healing touch. At times, it shuddered and then let go, relaxing in the strength that was being restored. As my therapist’s hands became warmer, my body would feel cold and I would shiver. Healing was happening.

Our bodies are our temples. They need to be treated well. They house our minds and spirits which need a safe place to reside. May this body continue to heal with the prayers of those who hold me and may I be a good landlord, allowing it to rest and recover.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions:
What is the state of your temple today?
Have you had an experience of trauma to your body? How has it healed?

Prayer

Great Physician,
send your healing light
to my core being,
cleansing the trauma and the turmoil
of my mind, body and spirit.
Restore me to complete health
and allow me to shine forth that
light that has permeated me.

Amen.

Posted in #CancerSurvivor, #Consolation, #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Sea of Red

Posted on October 20, 2015 by sstyves

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Canada had an election last night and the cold blue waters became a sea of red from coast to coast. The Liberals were leading in the days prior to the vote but I do not think many believed that the outcome would be a majority win by anyone. Nor, I suspect, did people think that certain politicians would come crashing down. As polite as Canadians are, we do have our limits.

Whether you believe in the Liberal stance or not, Canada needed a change and we got that. As I listened to the victory speech last night, Trudeau seemed sincerely grateful and somewhat humbled. Both he and his wife placed a hand on their hearts and thanked the Canadian public. Something about that touched me. His words surprised me a bit. His talk about running a positive campaign filled with hope and optimism was refreshing. Addressing Canada first in French was well-planned. No fear-mongering arose, instead he shared a story about an encounter with a Muslim woman who voted for him to preserve diversity. Who knows what will unfold in the coming months and years under his leadership? Only time will tell.

This morning he was out at the subway stop thanking people in his riding for voting, greeting the every day folks, and letting them take selfies. I was impressed. He is not quite the pope but he definitely is going to change the face of Canadian politics. May God bless this new government and guide each one.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions:

Why is voting important for Christians to do?
Why is praying for our leaders at every level a ministry?

Prayer

God on the Throne,
You are in control.
You will lead us all
May your will be done.
Bless our new politicians
with wisdom, discernment and honesty.

Amen.

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Throne of Grace

Posted on October 18, 2015 by sstyves

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Hebrews 4: 16 is a great line: Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. How many times do we go to that throne of grace as broken but beloved sinners? How often do we receive mercy and amazing grace when we muster up our courage and go to the throne of God and ask for what we need? What a gift this is!

The disciples in Mark’s Gospel also go to Jesus with boldness–but the sons of Zebedee have beaten them to the punch. The have already boldly asked for the right–not the opportunity–to sit at the right and left hand of Jesus in your glory. Of course, they had no clue what they were asking for…just like us sometimes when we engage our boldness without thinking things through.

James and John made their friends angry with their request. It seemed so self-centred and an individual act rather than a collective decision. The intent too seemed suspect. The vision included power and might and not humility and service. When I observe Pope Francis, I witness servant-leadership at its best most of the time. There will be suffering when we do this as we see in the First Reading from Isaiah 53–we may be crushed with pain but out of the anguish a newness will arise.

I have learned to be somewhat bold in approaching the throne of grace as of late. I long to receive mercy and to be blessed by grace. The psalmist says it well in Psalm 33: Let you love be upon us, Lord, even as we hope in you. I do hope in the Lord, in his mercy and forgiveness. I am grateful that this is my God, the one who gives second chances. As I read the Gospel, I can see how the disciples were not perfect and it gives me permission to also not beat myself up for messing up. What a good God we have! Therefore I do place my hope in God, as Love comes upon me, especially when I do not deserve it.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions
How do you most often approach the throne of God in prayer?
Is your style of leadership that also of servanthood?

Prayer

God on high,
I run to your throne of grace
and fall upon my knees
boldly asking for my desire.
You respond with mercy and forgiveness
and I am lifted higher than I knew
was possible, freed and loved.
Help me to serve you with all of my heart
and to return often to you to remain
a humble servant of your will, not mine.

Amen.

Posted in #BibleStories, #prayer, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Sparks and Stubble

Posted on October 16, 2015 by sstyves

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Have you ever heard something that stops you and rivets you to the meaning? I heard this phrase from a reading this morning during a funeral: …they will shine forth, and will run like sparks through the stubble. Those words made my brain snap to attention. The vision of a dry field being set ablaze came to mind.

As Christians we are asked to shine brightly and to set the world on fire. Our glow is most helpful perhaps during the dry times of life when we can easily run through the stubble of life quickly. One spark catches and the whole field can change. That which was dry and seemingly dead can be transformed. It only takes a spark. Won’t you shine?

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What words recently made you think of a spectacular image?
What dry field needs your spark?

Prayer
Like a dry field, O God,
I am full of stubble.
Set a spark in me
And let me burn with joy,
lighting up the world
and shining with your glory.

Amen.

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Friend of God

Posted on October 15, 2015 by sstyves

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A lovely story exists regarding St. Teresa of Avila, whose Feast Day we celebrate today. The mystic and author is said to have been out riding a donkey, when she fell off, into mud, and injured her leg. When she asked why that happened, the response from God was That is how I treat my friends to which she retorted And that is why you have so few of them! I love that this friend of God shared such an intimate, playful relationship. I can almost hear God chuckle at her answer.

St.Teresa, one of two female doctors of the Catholic Church, is accredited with several beautiful quotations that show her depth:

Prayer is not just spending time with God…If it ends there, it is fruitless. No, prayer is dynamic. Authentic prayer changes us–unmasks us.

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
no hands but yours,
no feet but yours,
Yours are the eyes through which to look out
Christ’s compassion to the world
Yours are the feet with which he is to go about
doing good;
Yours are the hands with which he is to bless now.

I have not read the Interior Castle but perhaps one day I will. I would like to learn more about this woman who seemed to have a strong prayer life. She seems to be a good model for us today–stressing prayer on a personal level, with the ability not to take herself or God too seriously. I like that image. She also seems to have understood contemplative action well. We are the hands and feet of Christ and if we let nothing trouble us, God alone will suffice in our ministries.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions:

What are your hands and feet doing for Christ?
What is your relationship with God like? Are you friends?

Prayer

Dearest Friend,
here are my hands and feet
Make them move in gentle, loving ways
Allow my eyes to shine with your compassion
Let no fear immobilize me
You alone are enough for me.

Amen.

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Intentional Witnesses

Posted on October 14, 2015 by sstyves

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I mixed up a phrase the other day and was telling someone that I liked what I thought was the phrase of intentional witness. Really, the correct phrase that had been used was enlightened witness. I have also heard the term sacred witness and that fits too.

The more I have thought about it though, the more I like my phrase. It implies that someone makes a conscious decision to remain with you, often not through a joyous time, though that could be the case, but rather through a sacred time that holds pain and suffering. Many people will show up during the joyful experiences of life and that is wonderful. My focus is those who show up and hunker down during the painful moments, the moments that are easy to walk away from. These are the people in your life who intentionally decide to be with you, when you are not your best, when you need them the most, and when the outcome is unknown. You are scared and they provide a comforting presence. You have no words…and neither do they; they just are there. You are broken and so are they so they understand without trying to fix anything. What a pure gift!

When I look back over these many months, I know exactly to whom I would entrust the broken pieces of my spirit. Primarily, these people are women, but not exclusively. Some are family members–my brother and a cousin come to mind immediately. Many are long-time friends, but not all. A few hold a professional relationship such as doctor-patient. A good number are people of faith or who believe in some spirituality. Lots have been in that dark place of desolation themselves and therefore are familiar with the surroundings. In Ignatian-speak, a good majority know consolation in the hard spots.

Those who have reflected back to me my journey have used words that resonate, even if they surprise–words like grace, courage, and inspiration. I saw my family doctor today and we were talking about making an appointment for a complete physical check up. She asked when my last one was and I told her the exact date just as she pulled it up on the computer. I reminded her that the last physical was done on the day she delivered my results of the ultrasound and my world began to shift. In a few months, a year will have passed since then. I laughed because somehow I found that funny–that I was still here, still fighting and still moving forward positively. She got that look on her face when she is about to tell me that I am amazing but instead she laughed with me. She has been an intentional witness that I appreciate greatly.

Those folks who have gone to the scary appointments with me, who have not given up on me when I have not had the energy I normally have, who walked with me up and down hospital corridors, even when I smelled funny, who let me sleep on their couches when I suddenly get tired, who have let me cry when I cannot explain why–like the Safeway pharmacist when I pick up my anti-nausea drugs–these are the witnesses who make a decision to be with me through a present moment that is less than stellar. A friend sings me a happy song while the spouse makes me tea as I sit in their living room and cry. Another couple put me in a hammock and leave me there while I snooze. No judgment is passed as I ask someone tearfully to please let me give back to them for their immense kindnesses. Life is lived barefoot these days, as I stand on holy ground, shared with companions who deliberately risk staying at great emotional cost. I am in awe and ever so grateful.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

When was the last time you knew that someone was choosing deliberately to be a witness to a difficult moment in your life?
Have you ever stayed with someone else, on sacred ground, while the pain was overwhelming?

Prayer

Like the burning bush,
You send us someone
to show us You are with us.
The flames of the trial
could lap them up too
scorching them,
but still they remain
intent on witnessing
the pain.
Blessed are we to stand
on such holy ground.

Amen.

Posted in #CancerSurvivor, #Consolation, #Desolation, #Miracles, #prayer, #Saints, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Ignatian, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment