No Deceit

Posted on August 25, 2015 by sstyves

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How would your closest friends describe you? Can you think of ten adjectives that are accurate for yourself? In today’s Gospel, Jesus declares that Nathanael, a man who has never met him is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.   Nathanael wonders how he knows such a thing: Where did you get to know me?  We all have our traits that others see clearly and we also have places that are our own blind spots. During my university studies, I learned about Johari’s Window, a technique that helps people learn about the hidden parts of their personality. We all have traits that we do not readily identify–parts that are sometimes easily seen by others. Once in awhile, Jesus may want to point them out to us through someone else.  Are we willing to hear them like Nathanel was? Or do we deceive ourselves that we know our selves through  and through?

peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How would Jesus describe you?

What blind spots do you think you have about yourself?

Prayer

Reader of our souls,

You know us better than anyone

Whisper to us what we need to know

to be whole and holy

Help us to be people without deceit.

Amen.

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Serve God

Posted on August 23, 2015 by sstyves

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The Principal and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius say that we are created to love, honour and serve God. As I swung in a hammock this afternoon, I watched a hummingbird dart around the yard and then drink at the feeder. I know that this beauty is not just created to bring me joy but I wondered what it would be like for God to look down and feel the immense pleasure at creation the way I did right at that moment. God chooses us all the time, time and time again, but do we choose God?

In Joshua 24, all the tribes of Israel are gathered and Joshua demands that they choose that very day who they will serve. As in the Two Standards, Joshua chooses to stand under the standard of the Holy One: as for me and my household, we will serve God.  He acknowledges that this is the God who protected them all the way along and among all their encounters. Joshua and his household choose God and choose to love, honour and serve the Holy One whose mighty hand has rescued and protected them.

In the Gospel of John, Jesus asks his twelve disciples if they also wish to go away  and Simon Peter responds: Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God. Jesus had been saying that the people needed to eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood in order to have life. These are challenging words and many left.  To serve God and to follow in the ways of the Holy One requires stamina at times. We may want to pack it in too, but like Joshua and Simon Peter, we know there is none other that will suffice.  We humans can overthink things but watching that hummingbird made me think maybe we just need to serve in joy and trust that God has us. We need to trust that.

I am wrapping up  mini-vacation here, before gearing up to return to fall routine and continued medical treatments. In the past day, I have noticed a shift deep at my core. This trip did exactly what it needed to do. Here in my hammock, ministered to by dear friends I have had time to listen and I am ready to welcome the fall activity and to begin to serve again more practically the God who has protected me thus far. I choose to serve God. I pray that I might be as a hummingbird and deliver Joy wherever I flit.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions 

Who or what do you choose to serve? Why?

What do you think God thinks looking at your life?

Prayer

Joy darted by me today

bringing a smile to my face

turning the eyes of my heart

to the Holy One

creating a longing to serve

again with joy and lightness

trusting that this One walking with me

who has taken every step in front of me

and beside me is making the way safe.

Amen.

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Splash of Colour

Posted on August 23, 2015 by sstyves

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What is it that makes your heart leap? For me, there is something magnificent about the flash of colour or how the light dazzles a scene. Resting in a hammock during the golden hour, I watched the sun highlight the world around me. In this photograph, the red on the bird’s throat and wings brought a smile to my face. My camera was within my reach and so I shot this picture from a distance and hoped I could capture a bit of the glory that was on display.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions 

How does beauty affect your soul?
What can you do to pay more attention to the world around you?

Prayer

Creator, You never cease to amaze
You splash colour on the most unexpected spot
bringing joy to hearts and a sense of awe
You shine Light on a place that is ordinary
And suddenly a piece of Heaven appears on earth.
You are the Divine Artist that inspires each of us
Open our eyes to see the extraordinary
in everything around us.

Amen

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Do Not Press Me

Posted on August 21, 2015 by sstyves

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Today’s first reading is the lovely story of Ruth and Naomi. Women will tell you that there is something sacred about the bonds that are created in friendship. This story exemplifies that connection as Ruth pleads Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Ruth clings to her and Naomi consents.

When I look back over my life, I see that from a very early age my friendships with girls buoyed me and affirmed me. The relationships that I formed in elementary school are still in tact today. When I studied in the United States as a 20-year-old, I became enlightened about feminism and social justice. I maintain friendships with several of the women from my study days. When I returned to the U.S. years later to do an internship with a social justice organization, I continued contact with folks too. These were my people. I do still have male friends from these life experiences and I value them as well but there is something about the friendships with women that are unique.

Many of these women have pointed me towards God and for that I will be ever grateful. The Gospel today reminds us of the two great commandments: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind….you shall love your neighbour as yourself.  I think the depth of the relationship that Ruth and Naomi shared was God-centred and many of the friendships I have are too–or at the least–bring me to the Face of God. That is pure gift.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions:

Who in your life is someone with whom you share a deep friendship?

Is there a person in your life that points you towards God?

Prayer

God, I love you with all of my heart, soul and mind

I love you more than I can explain

I find you wonderfully hidden in the faces of those I encounter

In conversations rich and meaningful

In life-changing encounters that make me want to cling

In healthy ways to You and to go where You lead.

Amen.

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Carefully Dangerous

Posted on August 20, 2015 by sstyves

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Where is home for you? Who are the people you call your tribe? Who allows you to be fully you? I have these amazing deep conversations with the people most important to me that nourish my soul. I am grateful for these people and our ability to share beyond the surface. I appreciate that these folks grant me space to be all that I am without judgement.

As a writer, I love words and playing with words. I love people who can be clever with language. This evening in a conversation the daughter of one of the women I was with assured her mom that she was carefully dangerous. Her mom did not look convinced that this was a good thing.  I smiled and said that it was probably better than being dangerously careful. The mother got it.  We can live out our lived with an element of danger or we can exist so carefully that we do not live at all.

I am grateful for the clan around me that lives with careful danger and allows me to push the edges of life a little to endure a wee adventure from time to time. I think this is better than staying in a bubble and wishing life was more exciting.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What is your preferred way of living–careful danger or dangerous careful?

Who makes up your clan?

Prayer

You give us a whole world to play in

and invite us to enjoy life

may we respond with Yes!

Amen.

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From the Core

Posted on August 19, 2015 by sstyves

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Trees have always spoken to me   This one caught my attention in the earlier part of the day when the sap sparkled in the sunshine. This afternoon in the shade, I returned. As I stood looking out at the sap frozen in its place, I wondered what comes out of us, the deep core of our being. I have been very aware that I have not cried much these past eight months through my diagnosis and illness. Instead, the called upon emotion was courage. I just had to get through this step and then gear up for the next one. I had to armour up for this scan, this test, the vampires in the lab, this procedure, and the surgery. Once I made it through that, I concentrated on recovering well.  When all that was accomplished, I could begin to breathe again and that is when the gift of tears finally arrived, three months after surgery.  Almost anything will set me off: gratitude, joy, frustration, disappointment.

When the decision to proceed with chemotherapy was made, I was even more fragile as I let go  of more dreams and hopes. I have rummaged around a bit to see where I packed up my bravery but I have not located it all yet. Instead the gift of tears remains. At my treatment session yesterday, I began to cry as the drugs made my hand feel as if someone had slammed down a sledge hammer on it. My particular cocktail does sting apparently but it should not hurt that much.  I could feel my frustration grow as I tried to explain to the nurse that I usually tolerate pain well but this was not the case with my first two treatments. I was embarrassed by my tears and wish I could have more grace. The nurse assured me that all was fine but as I reached for the tissue to wipe away my tears, I knew I was frustrated. I took a deep breath, clenched the hot face cloth in my hand, and offered up the discomfort.

When I stood before this gorgeous tree this morning, I could see that this bleeding tree’s sap shone in the light. These tears it was weeping were stunning as they sparkled, as if redeemed by something greater than itself when what was deep within spilled out for others to see. Nature has always taught me valuable lessons. I think this might be another one of those  moments.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions:

What lessons have your learned from the natural world that have helped you with a struggle or joy?

Have you ever shared a struggle that helped others see the glory of God?

Prayer

Shining One,

You transform us

From our cores out

Splashing glitter even on

Our broken parts

To use for your glory.

Amen!

Posted in #CancerSurvivor, #Miracles, #prayer, #Saints, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Spirituality | Tagged , | 10 Comments

Face to Face

Posted on August 18, 2015 by sstyves

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Gideon is not someone I am very familiar with but I like that he builds an altar to the Lord today and calls it The Lord is peace. In Chapter 6 of Judges, Gideon is full of tough questions: If the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? Where are all the wonderful deeds that our ancestors recounted to us…? How can I deliver Israel? When Gideon realizes that he has been chatting directly with an angel of the Lord, he is assured he will live anyway.

Sometimes in life we have challenging questions about events that happen. God is sending angels to minister in those moments; sometimes we see them face to face. As with Gideon, we may have many questions about the situations in our life and if we are equipped to handle them. We may also believe that of everyone we are the least likely to succeed.

As with Gideon, may we find reasons to believe that we are enough, that we are the ones who should be sent, and that God will find favour with our efforts. When we stand in this space, may we also remember to bring a present and set it out before God with our gratitude.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Recount a time when you knew the Lord is Peace.
In the midst of your struggles, can you give thanks?

Prayer

The Lord is Peace
and ever shall reign in my heart.
I do not always comprehend why
but I must trust that You have my
best interests at heart.
May I seek you face to face
and know that You are here
in the midst of it all.

Amen.

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Keeping the Commandments

Posted on August 17, 2015 by sstyves

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How do our lives bear fruit? Today in the Gospel, a man comes to Jesus, according to the 19th Chapter of Matthew, asking how to achieve eternal life. Jesus responds by instructing him to keep the commandments, listing the usual ones but adding to love your neighbour as yourself. This reading made me again think of the film I saw over the weekend, Beyond the Mask. Keeping the commandments is not always easy.

Many of us have not memorized the Ten Commandments nor do we comprehend what they mean in today’s modern world. More importantly, what does eternal life mean to most of us? How do we love one another as well as ourselves? These are all complicated questions. We hardly know ourselves and if we take a close look into our hearts, most of us would discover a bunch of masks and darkness galore. We covet our neighbour’s car. We forget to call our parents after their medical appointments. We say we want to kill someone because we are so mad at them. We take what does not belong to us, including water and minerals, with little regard for the harm we impose on others.

Watching Beyond the Mask, I could not help but think of the men at the federal penitentiary where I volunteer. On occasion they do not see their past lives with the eyes of Truth. They have no ability to even formulate the question that the man in Matthew does: What good deed must I do to have eternal life? Like Will Reynolds, some of these men believe that they are entitled to a certain life. Reynolds is conned into trusting a man whose convictions are worthless. We can all be fooled by people who seem to want the best for us when really they love themselves and their own interests much more. Reynolds falls from favour and his life is in danger. He somehow manages to escape his earthly enemy but continues to be pursued by demons as he covers up and lies about his past. The faith and kindness of a Christian woman is what tames his heart and points him finally to the good deed that will allow him to receive eternal life.

I have known men in prison who have never known the kindness of a Christian woman until the church volunteers show up. The inmates tend to be confused by their feelings and are vulnerable. They need to be directed to Jesus for their redemption. I have also known men who have found deep within the Truth of their lives and managed to come out as new creations, as Reynolds does. These men are capable of keeping the commandments and usually succeed on the outside–or as we say, on the streets.

Lots of voices coax us; St. Ignatius gives us the valuable resource of discerning spirits for making choices. What may seem to be a Spirit of Light can be a deception until tested. We get caught in our pride and ego. Reynolds is not free until he lays these aside and chooses for the good of all, and not just himself. When we lay down our lives, we win them back again. If we cling, like Reynolds to revenge or like the man in the Gospel to earthly treasures, we lose. The commandments can be seen in a modern light and once we layer them upon our decisions, these too will guide us.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

What commandments do you struggle to keep in our times?
What demons pursue you and make it hard to stay with Jesus?

Prayer

Redeemer,
Reign in my pride
Help me see my life
with your eyes of Truth
Let me lay aside all that binds me
Purge me of the demons that pursue me
You alone, Jesus are the Way.
Let me walk in it.

Amen.

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Wisdom Builds

Posted on August 16, 2015 by sstyves

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Wisdom in the Hebrew Scriptures is personified. She is often at work and in today’s First Reading from Proverbs 9 she is building a house with seven pillars. She invites those without common sense to come and eat bread and drink wine so as to lay aside immaturity, live and walk in the way of insight. These thoughts run through all the readings today. Psalm 34 counsels people to praise God and seek the Lord to lack no good thing. Ephesians 5 encourages us to live as the wise do, making the most of our time and discerning God’s will. There is a caution not to get drunk but to be filled with the Spirit and give thanks to God at all times for everything. The Gospel from John has mysterious words of eating flesh and drinking blood in order to obtain eternal life.

Wisdom is at work, building a sturdy house on solid ground and is an example for us. Christ too is wanting to build a strong house as he commands the people to eat and drink so that they may be raised up on the last day. His flesh is the true food; his blood the true drink. This is not a snack to tide one over. This is sustenance.

We do not graze when we come to the Eucharist. We should be hungry and grateful to receive that which will satisfy us. This is not the table to nibble and walk away, unsatisfied. This is the meal that will last forever. As I have said in an earlier post, this is not about Thanksgetting but Thanksgiving.

Last night I watched Beyond the Mask, a Christian film about redemption. When we come to mass we lay aside immaturity and walk in the way of insight if our hearts are open to receive the gifts at the table. We can be redeemed from the damage we have done during the week. As in the film, we have a choice to let God rule in our lives. Often we wear masks or get drunk with wine and behave foolishly. If we can strip ourselves of our masks, build on solid ground, and trust in what we eat and drink to transform us, we can have eternal life.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

How hungry do you come to the table?
What masks need to be stripped away so that you build wisely on solid ground?

Prayer

Wisdom is a builder
in pink gingham
and steel-toed boots.
She is beautiful and strong.
Her work is out-of-this world
and heavenly, beyond our dreams.
Lay down your tools of mass self-destruction
Take up the cup and plate of Life.
Walk in the way of insight and live.

Amen.

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Soul Magnifying

Posted on August 15, 2015 by sstyves

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Marian Feast Days are not all confusing but this one tends to be for non-Catholics and Catholics alike. The Assumption of the Virgin Mary celebrates her body and soul being assumed into heaven at her physical death here on earth. The Gospel reading today is the beautiful reading from Luke 1 of Mary and Elizabeth meeting.

Mary’s joyous response to her cousin Elizabeth’s blessing is to sing her praise to God who has looked upon her, a lowly servant, with favour. She had no idea what lay ahead of her at this moment in time yet she completely surrendered to the utter joy of carrying this child who could have brought her shame and misery. This response startles me. Perhaps Mary had fear but it did not hold her back from saying yes to the path that God called her to walk. She had great consolation and that connection with God that she knew poured out in the beautiful Magnificat.

I often wonder what those two women talked about in those three months, both knowing that their lives were about to be transformed after the visits by the angels. Last night, I sat with a dear friend whose journey has been intertwined with mine for two decades. I shed a few tears and found an ounce or two more of courage for the treatments that are yet to come. I will soon head to see my own cousin who is a tremendous source of solace in my life. I will find quiet hours to sleep safely and to pour out my heart about the great things the Mighty One is doing in my life and to hear the same from her. I believe that God will lift up the lowly and fill the hungry with good things. I find strength in the lives and presence of my girlfriends. The bond I have with so many of them are healing. Mary needs an Elizabeth and Elizabeth needs a Mary. The relationship is mutual.

With these women as role models, we can be all that God desires for us. St. Maximilian says at the end of the readings today: Let us allow Mary to do in us and through us whatever she desires and she will surely accomplish miracles of grace, and we ourselves will become holy. May Mary guide us to Jesus in new and wonderful ways. Through her intercession may many miracles of grace abound.

Peace,

Suzanne

Reflection Questions

Who in your life blesses you with deep relationship, where Love abides and Joy dances?
What role does Mary, the Mother of Jesus, have in your prayer life?

Prayer

Creator of Relationships,
You bless us with amazing companions
for this journey through the joys and sorrows
May Mary, the Mother of Jesus,
show us how to love you more dearly,
follow you more closely, and
see your hand in all things.
May our hearts be always moved with praise,
understanding that you look down on your lovely servants
with abundant love and compassionate mercy.
Blessed be your holy name
now and always.

Amen.

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